Getting Arrested ‘Exacerbated’ Lindsay Lohan’s Pneumonia That She Doesn’t Have

Lindsay Lohan tried to bail on Scary Movie 5 by claiming she has walking pneumonia, yet she miraculously showed up on set after they threatened to sue her and sent a private jet to pick her up. So why not use that horseshit excuse again to blame her recent arrest for putting her in the hospital over the weekend? Looking up new diseases is almost like work, you guys. TMZ reports:

We broke the story .. Lohan was rushed to the emergency room in NYC Sunday night with a lung infection … but was released a short time later.
Now, Lindsay’s telling friends the arrest caused her so much anxiety, it landed her in the hospital — exacerbating the “walking pneumonia” she’s been suffering from the last few weeks.

Yes, clearly it was that mean old arrest and not the fact Lindsay Lohan smokes an entire tobacco field a day and, oh I dunno, stood outside in the cold rain all Saturday night to watch a concert. Her lungs could stop a bullet, that’s how healthy they are from all that. Via Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan partied in the rain in Central Park Saturday to catch DJ Steve Angello at Size Matters. The actress told us that even though she was recovering from pneumonia, she didn’t want to miss the al fresco event.

Except, here’s something you probably didn’t see coming, Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have pneumonia because it was asthma. She just has asthma. People reports:

Suffering the effects of asthma, the actress, 26, was “treated and released, and is doing fine,” her rep tells PEOPLE.

What’s really amazing is that her rep didn’t even bother lying this time. Probably because he can’t keep half of her stories straight anymore. “Yes, that’s right, I can confirm Lindsay has shingles and that’s why she’s not on set today. I mean, hantavirus. No, wait, what she did tell you again? The police gave her rabies? Could you excuse me for a minute? *shoots heroin, drinks a belt of scotch, takes 18 Xanax* Yup, it’s rabies.”