Lindsay Lohan Playboy Issue Breaks Sales Records, Says Elderly Man On Twitter

December 19th, 2011 // 128 Comments

If you asked Hugh Hefner what he ate for breakfast this morning, he’d call you a Nazi spy and threaten to phone his pal Charles Lindbergh to “teach you what for.” So with that information in mind, here he is on Twitter talking about the Lindsay Lohan Playboy issue like his “girlfriends” have sales tickers coming out of their naked asses to keep him constantly updated. Actually, scratch that. That probably does happen. I kid the old man a little too much sometimes:

The Lindsay Lohan January-February Double Issue is breaking sales records.

Of course, nobody has a clue what the current sales records for Playboys are these days, so just assume she sold at least 10 which is a miracle once you take into account the existence of the Internet. In the meantime, TMZ is rolling with Hugh’s numbers while FOX News has a conflicting report:

Interest seems low in seeing Lohan’s intensely air-brushed impersonation of Marilyn Monroe in glossy print. Fox411 spent Friday morning trolling the shelves of newsstands and gas stations from New York to Philadelphia only to be confronted with the same reality at each: Lohan’s glassy-eyed stare peaking above the backs of more family friendly fare, with no one staring back or making a purchase.

While Fox is probably right, their methodology is tad suspect considering they basically walked up to people and said, “Hey, you gonna jerk it later? I’m with the news.” Then again, you’d just assume the spirit of Christmas would bring out the honesty in people, so look for a report later today entitled: “Why Santa’s Coming But You’re Not: The Liberal Attack On ‘Making Your Baby Jesus Cry.’”

Photos: Playboy, AKM Images/GSI Media

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Siloporcen7
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Lord…just…dear Lord

  2. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    KaylaMarieee
    Commented on this photo:

    lol. frog butt anyone?

  3. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf is up with her face?

  4. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    Why no curves??

  5. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    “herrr derp”

    What the fudge is going on with her face these days?? So bloated. She has aged so much this past couple of years. She looks way over 35.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Nicks
    Commented on this photo:

    her nipples are out

  7. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Me
    Commented on this photo:

    Yummy, all I can think about is mottorboating!!

    http://mlkshk.com/r/2R0

  8. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Lee
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Still looks great! For all those that are hating, You wish she would talk to you, I know I wouldn’t mind the chance to chat with her. Her life just ended up in the press many of us have lived the same or worse. She was just able to afford it and the media made it worse.

  9. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks pretty, not airbrushed.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    ewwwwww.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like shes pelvic thrustin’ it.

  12. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    i think her little round tummy is cutee.

  13. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    she should really get her ass done, then she’d look good.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    lkl
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the gut of 50 year old truck driver after a couple of six packs.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Herman Bumfudle
    Commented on this photo:

    well, hello there cutie!

  16. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    MissSwan
    Commented on this photo:

    She look like a man,

  17. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Anna
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t look that awful in the pictures. It’s just that the media has taught all of you what to expect. Regardless of your own selves, you slam any known person for looking less than pleasing to you.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Anna
    Commented on this photo:

    Most men would still hit that? As if she’s remotely repulsive. Get a grip on reality people. I hate to stand up for celebrities, but I will do so when it comes to beauty and image.

  19. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Dissapointed.
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my god, where is her ass? She has an old lady butt! Time to get on a bike and work on those glutes

  20. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Teddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats what happens when you get fat then do drugs and lose alot of weight.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Is “rock bottom” when you sell one of your boob implants for coke? If so, I think she’s finally made it.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got cock squeeze cramps in both hands.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Just OD already you stupid twat!

  24. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Crystal
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she looks happy in this pic. I miss the old, cheery, volumptous (sp) Lindsay.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Crystal
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks hot here… and happy.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Cristiano
    Commented on this photo:

    What an ordinary girl, if people get exited by this girl you will get crazy if you someday you go to any Brazilian beach.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay Lohan has sexy boobs

  28. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    If we push on her chin will her ass re-inflate?

  29. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    turd da third
    Commented on this photo:

    totally unspectacular

  30. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    true dat
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn that thing is ugly , even for 50 its nasty shit.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Guest
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow… that’s a sad ass… :(

  32. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Kesia
    Commented on this photo:

    How are her 90 days , which will really be 13 days, be worse than olepeps 25 yrs? I wish that too but she gets a private cell away from all other prisoners and probably will be babied in the cell, get a tv and a couch i bet

  33. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Jessikah
    Commented on this photo:

    I’de hit that too. :P

  34. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    mikerat50
    Commented on this photo:

    but u are all here looking at her cute butt lol

  35. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh! How can someone so young be so flabby! She’s got no shape and the ass of an old man! This is nasty! Cover that up!

  36. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    ruby
    Commented on this photo:

    give the girl a break!…

  37. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Sprmcandy
    Commented on this photo:

    C*U*T*E

  38. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice body. I’d bang her. Still liked her better as a redhead.

  39. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Joe Mahma
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a lazy, flabby, unhealthy mess. Even Courtney Stodden looks better.

  40. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the old lady?

  41. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Storm
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree… Super sexy. I’d eat her right up.

  42. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Joe Mahma
    Commented on this photo:

    That broad needs to get some exercise.

  43. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks fuckable in this pic.

  44. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Angry Bill
    Commented on this photo:

    Give me 90 seconds and a leather belt and I’ll put some color in those cheeks.

  45. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s kinda sad. She really could have been talented and super attractive. That body isn’t anything a personal trainer couldn’t tone up in a month or two, but it’s pretty much a done deal at this point.

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