If you asked Hugh Hefner what he ate for breakfast this morning, he’d call you a Nazi spy and threaten to phone his pal Charles Lindbergh to “teach you what for.” So with that information in mind, here he is on Twitter talking about the Lindsay Lohan Playboy issue like his “girlfriends” have sales tickers coming out of their naked asses to keep him constantly updated. Actually, scratch that. That probably does happen. I kid the old man a little too much sometimes:
The Lindsay Lohan January-February Double Issue is breaking sales records.
Of course, nobody has a clue what the current sales records for Playboys are these days, so just assume she sold at least 10 which is a miracle once you take into account the existence of the Internet. In the meantime, TMZ is rolling with Hugh’s numbers while FOX News has a conflicting report:
Interest seems low in seeing Lohan’s intensely air-brushed impersonation of Marilyn Monroe in glossy print. Fox411 spent Friday morning trolling the shelves of newsstands and gas stations from New York to Philadelphia only to be confronted with the same reality at each: Lohan’s glassy-eyed stare peaking above the backs of more family friendly fare, with no one staring back or making a purchase.
While Fox is probably right, their methodology is tad suspect considering they basically walked up to people and said, “Hey, you gonna jerk it later? I’m with the news.” Then again, you’d just assume the spirit of Christmas would bring out the honesty in people, so look for a report later today entitled: “Why Santa’s Coming But You’re Not: The Liberal Attack On ‘Making Your Baby Jesus Cry.’”
Photos: Playboy, AKM Images/GSI Media
BULLSHIT. I don;t believe people bought it. Why would they? It was online for FREE, and everyone has seen her naked multiple times.
i felt exactly the same way. no way would i have bought that shit. toilet paper is better excuse for cutting trees down than any publication that even mentions the name of stench lohan. i saw the pictures online. my penis crept back into my body out of sheer boredom.
People are surprised at this? Of course it’s a hot seller, it’s Lindsay Lohan! For years she has teased men around the would, pouting her lips, revealing soft inches of her cleavage and generally looking cute and sexy. Now it’s out and men want to know what strawberry tastes like.
Randal
Randal, I used to think you were Dina. Forgive me. You’re obviously Michael.
“Out here in the country, we don’t get no broad-band, ‘n it takes too long for dem pitchers to load on the phone hook-up. ‘N mah wife’s always on the phone anyways, so I cain’t hardly stay online that long. Besides, how’m I gonna git that big-ass ‘puter into the crapper? That’s the only place where I can tug it.” — Playboy’s subscriber base
FYI it’s my understanding that you shouldn’t use glossy paper for lining the birdcage or the cat’s litter box.
Can you use it to start logs in the fireplace?
Ah, the smell of burning herpes from the fireplace always brings Christmas cheer!
Lindsay used the $1 million to buy up copies ;)
Her cheeks look so strange to me. Bronzer? It’s hard to believe that she’s only 25.
pay ME and maybe I’ll use the issue to scrape the dog shit off my lawn.
Hey c’mon, there’s some good reading there! Personally I want to read up on the 20 greatest cocktails. Don’t really give a rat’s ass about the time Jobs met Warhol though.
Don’t forget cars of the year! I bet the 1914 Stutz Bearcat gets the coveted nod from Hugh again.
Honestly, I think any sales ARE from the cocktail recipes. Hey that’s interesting.
Hasn’t the faux Marilyn shoot been done to death by now?
That pictorial also features Ali Lohan, though you can’t tell because she’s hidden behind a staple.
LOL
Honestly I wouldn’t know that was her on the cover if I hadn’t been told. Lindsay + 1/4 inch of primer paint doesn’t seem like an actual pictorial, not that I wanted to go there anyway. Ali Lohan is also on that cover, she’s just standing behind the ‘I’ in Lindsay.
And she’s out of focus, a trick they use to make gals twice her age easier on the eyes. Sigh.
Absolutely no interest in seeing this skag naked. It is hard enough to see her in clothes.
Wasn’t she clothed in this pictorial? Why would anyone waste their time? Bunch of morons who bought that issue.
She is nude. You can find the pics online.
I saw the pics earlier. With her utter lack of muscle tone it would have been greatly preferable if she HAD been clothed. In all fairness though she does have a nice body… for an exercise averse fifty-year old.
If you’re jerking to Lindsay you have much more serious issues than she does.
Seeing who the centerfold for that issue is more interesting than seeing the freckled wonder.
Agreed. Her muff probably smells like the inside of Mrs. Roper’s wig.
Sorry Fish, it’s not just Fox that’s saying sales are poor. CNN and The Daily Mail are reporting the same thing. To be fair to Hef all he said was that the issue was breaking records, he never said WHAT RECORDS. I’m sure the issue has broken the record for worst selling issue all year. Hell, it may have broken the record for worst selling issue ever.
You just have to know how to read between the lines. I came of age when Bill Clinton was still President, so I learned pretty early how to read between the lines.
I have to agree with this. What do you think he is gonna say, I paid this young woman a million dollars and got figuratively screwed. He’ hoping no one will see the records or even bother to trace the nudes online.
best selling jan/feb 2012 issue ever! record broken!
* of issues sold to one-legged guys named Herman
Breaking records? Fewest sold ever
you sad people don’t seem to realise…
that this is a huge event…
lindsay IS N E W S
get over yourselves and you sad little lives
go babe : )))
HAHAHAHAH, do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up.
What a laugh – if you mean train wreck then yeah, she’s news.
Picture this:
In the background, Hugh’s ho’s whoops sorry – playmates tweeting anything that will bring in a buck so they can buy some more plastic surgery and money…
In the foreground, Hugh sitting at table being fed by his 70 year old maid…
I think at this point, Playboy is just hoping to make back enough scratch to Lysol and Febreze that chair.
Lots of ebay sellers are buying copies to sell at premium after she’s dead (figure they’ll only have to hold on to them for six months to a year.)
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd gross.
One bright spot for me is to see that Faux News Livestream is proved to be just as illiterate as I knew they were.
If you’re reporting the numbers are going nowhere, then Linds shouldn’t be “peaking” above anything.
your idiocy is justifiable
Hey, it’s a slow news day and to catch them being deficient is amusing Not being able to spell or tell homophones apart when you purport to be a news agency, and further claim to be the one that has the only true and unbiased form of communication, is embarassing. If you think it really doesn’t matter, then you’re the idiot.
Will you feel better when MSNBC or Amy Goodman reports the same thing CNN (along with Fox and several other news outlets) is saying?
If Goodman actually spells it wrong in a feed or in her blog, then of course I’ll be equally amused – and it’ll certainly tell me something about her standards if she uses it. If you’re a news agency, then your business is communication, so the people working for you should have a basic grasp of the language at the outset. Spellcheck can’t help their sorry ass in this situation.
Only an idiot turns a story about Lindsay into a story about Fox News.
Are you fucking kidding me? There’s literally nothing to see here. If you find her humping Monroe’s dead leg – yet again – to be so goddamn fascinating, guess who’s the real idiot?
Gah, you guys. I’m no liberal but Justie’s right about the grammar. Way to fah-REAK out over nothing and make all conservatives look loony. Again.
Just for the hell of it this morning, I stopped at 5 different magazine stands (which are in high traffic (driving & walking) flow areas) up here in the Seattle area & asked the vendors how the issue was selling. Only 1 of them had sold more than 2 copies, and they all said they usually have sold 40-50 by this time after the issue release. One vendor said “this is the shittiest selling issue I’ve seen in 25 years”. So, based on reality (and not hef’s trying to drum up interest in an issue with a toxic waste whore on the cover), I’m going to go with Fox’s report.
This issue of Playboy will make history as the FIRST issue that I wouldn’t accept as a gift. Or touch. Or want to see a picture of.
I’ll wait a week and look at them online.
What the old fart didn’t say was not all records are for the most. This is probably the record for the LEAST sold.
BTW, there probably is no way that this issue would break any record, period. There was a time when Playboy was actually on the cutting edge of male entertainment, but that time is long past. Replace the word Playboy in that last sentence with the word Lohan and it would still be 100% true.
Lindsay, to make a come back, first get off the drugs, fix those teeth, dye the hair red, gain 20 pounds and if you are going to pose for Playboy, do it because you are body proud, not for the money.
Hmm – “body proud” and posing for an anachronism like Playboy do not exactly compute…
WHERE is her arse??
Gross
You’re nuts Lindsay looks hot in the photos. I looked everywhere for this issue cannot find it. I’ll order it off the internet.
How do you know she looks hot in the photos if you haven’t seen the issue? And if you’ve seen them online already, why bother buying it? If you want to do something for Lindsay, she likes meth. Send her some meth.
I see another paid employee of white oprah has posted. Funny thing is, your post is so contrary to what the rest of the world says, it’s easy to pick you out of the crowd. Better luck next time, loser…
The scratch and sniff centerfold backfires again.
So….. flabby flat asses are in, eh?
The world has change in the past 50 years, so who would want to see Lindsay do a copy cat Playboy spread, retro trash.
hugh heffner himself bought all the issues availible so this gives you the idea it was an enormous success.
BUT NO STRAIGHT AMERICAN WANTS TO BE RELATED TO THIS LOHAN-SNUB!!
Technical point: I don’t think Charles Linbergh would have had any issues with someone being a Nazi spy.
Wtf? She has claws for feet. She’s so gross.
Sorry Hef, but your schtick is tired.
Far from a stunning body — but a better body then 95% of girls her age nowadays.
on the jersey shore? you really need to get out more.
Worthless without the nip-slip pic the Daily Mail had
… called, “The Bait & Switch.”
She looks like death warmed up
there is more to life than these asses. Read Time Rays.
maybe if she showed some snap more people would look.
who took these pictures and WHY are they doing this to us ;(
At least these almost give me a boner, not like the photoshop shit they published in PLAYBOY.
Damn has she ever got nice big firm boobies.
Most men would still hit it!
Most men would hit a damp hole in a wall.
Ass for days.. if you’re a fruit fly.
Not feeling all the love for her and her fake funbags.
i think ill marry her!
Jesus Christ, get a top that actually FITS you and your silicone jugs and you won’t have to spend the whole day at the beach yanking it back up!
It is not that her belly button is so high it’s her boobs are so low people…
Love all you queers.. If she wasnt “Lindsay Lohan” and you saw this on the beach you’d be bustin out your iPhones to take pics..
Hey Dina, get off Lindsay’s nut sack. She’s not remotely hot unless you like shapeless, flabby, skanky washed-up sad twats.
I agree, Called Out. No Way, you are a sad case and probably spend many lonely nights alone.
Skinny fat