Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Shoot Is Marilyn Monroe Now, No Full Frontal

November 8th, 2011 // 139 Comments

After making her return for a reshoot, Playboy has finally approved Lindsay Lohan‘s latest batch of photos which will appear in the January/February issue on sale in Decemeber. Except, surprise, it’s no longer full frontal or possibly any form of naked at all, so just assume her pay got reduced to a sandwich or else we live in a cold, godless world devoid of all purpose and meaning. Page Six reports:

“He felt the initial shots looked too much like a Kate Moss-inspired fashion story — Lindsay’s choice — where he wanted more of a classic Hollywood Marilyn Monroe feel,” a source said. This weekend, Lohan was accompanied by lawyers, agents and publicists who, sources said, “gave their two cents about what was considered ‘nude’ and what was not.” Sources said Lohan ended up delivering the Monroe-inspired images Hefner wanted. She’s expected to appear nude, but “strategically covered up” in certain shots.

So let me get this straight, Lindsay Lohan had one simple job to do: Show up to the Playboy mansion and have a bunch of pictures of her vagina taken for everyone to laugh at while going, “Haha! Look how poor she is.” And yet she couldn’t even do that right. Jesus, how is she even making it as a hooker? There’s just no initiative here. She probably shows up to hotel rooms and says she’ll only do blowjobs if she can finish you with her hand. We’re in a recession, lady.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. MefMouf

    stanky skank

    • Mammary

      haha Meth Mouth Marilyn

    • Mike

      That wig looks like they scraped it off of Marilyns dead body, or found it in a dumpster. I wonder if they’re going to photoshop out the needle marks, scabs and sores, or leave them in to make it more authentic.

      • eny

        @ WILL.. you’re only saying that cuz this piece of ugly shit makes you fucking perv horny! Grow up dude! You might use her pics to look at and wank around, but that doesn’t mean everyone else likes that shit.
        What’s special about her? She used to play in movies? Sang a few songs? So what? That’s a reason for her to be hot? I’m feeling sorry for guys like you, must be sitting behind your computer day and night dreaming ever to have sex with this bitch. How old are you? 35? 40? Get a life and a real girlfriend! There are so many REALLY beautiful girls out there but you´re too blind to see. The perfect one might just be taken by someone else, while you keep chasing your internet dreams. So sad. If you have a girlfriend, better watch out she might run off with some better guy!
        And about reading magazines and thinking we know what they do with their lifes, hmm guess what? Those people live from selling their life to the public, it’s US making them rich, so we fucking judge however we want! End of story..

    • will

      unbelievable what goes through peoples minds now a days. no respect for others. you read the papers and the magazines and think that you know what they do with therelives. You have no right to talk this way about another human beings and if i was your parents i would have raised more accepting and forgiving humans.
      bring forth a worthy competitor who would also like to look like a self conceded arborist. show some love be forgiving compassionate and leave this place sacred for you may not be an ancestor. p.s. grow up this article was written by a loser who will be sworn to hell

  2. Meh

    If she really wants to emulate Marilyn she should OD already. Please.

    • Randal

      Lindsay certainly has a class and it shows in making the choice not to show every inch of her body. A woman’s form is beautiful without needing to be full frontal nudity. Lindsay’s star power will put Playboy on the first row of the shelf with all other magazine trying to play catch-up.

      Randal

      • @Randal She already made the choice to show everything. Now they’re essentially paying her to cover up. Nobody wants to see her nude, not even Playboy. I agree a woman’s form is beautiful and generally the less skin the more erotic it can be, but with her no..just no.

      • Archies_Leach

        While the rest of the mentally balanced crowd exists in the online porn reality, “Randal” has been magically transported to the imaginary “Mad Men” existence.

      • Carolyn

        Eat me, Randal

      • Amused

        Shut up, Dina. You’re not fooling anybody.

      • fuckface

        if by class you mean snorting coke off a married man’s erect penis while your mother cheers you on from the gimp corner, then yes, she is dripping with class.

      • Anon

        OH MY GOSH. I’ve missed Randal! My favorite troll ever.

      • Mike

        Randal buddy, look closer. She’s shown her VJ to every limo driver, pap, and doorman in LA for over 5 years. The girl hasn’t worked as an PG rated actress or model [for money] in 5 years.
        If it weren’t for a suitcase full of blackmail videos, revealing pictures, and bribes Lindsay would be doing time right now. It must be nice to go to court, and walk away with minutes instead of months every time, for 5 years.

      • KIPPY

        ha ha ha Randal

    • DrunkRussian

      I just enjoy reading Randal’s incredibly detached-from-reality replies. Without fail he delivers the most absurdly ridiculous responses wrapped in sincerity. He’s either a comic-genius or a mentally retarded überfan. Possibly both.

  3. great rack and good in the sack.

  4. Randolph Duke

    i can’t wait to fap to this…

    • Derp

      Spare yourself the wait and just fap to a fucking Sears catalog. It’s essentially the same thing but at least their photo team is amateur, and misses the odd nipple.

  5. Dina looks good in these pics…

  6. Lindsay Lohan Marilyn Monroe
    dj
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s all sorts of disgusting

  7. Drew

    Those freckles are utterly disgusting.

  8. skunk

    titty whore

  9. Clarence Beeks

    GROSS.

    I can’t fault her for her freckles, she can’t help them. But she can help by going back to her natural red hair, and to STOP trying to be MM.

    it’s fucking riduculous.

    • TomFrank

      Okay, I’m calling it. Lindsay will die of an “accidental” drug overdose on August 5, 2012—the 50th anniversary of Marilyn Monroe’s death. Because then the MM comparison she desperately longs for will be complete, ineradicable, and immortal.

      It also puts her a year ahead of everyone in “The 27 Club,” which in her mind means she tops all of those people. Dina would want it that way.

      (For the record, let me say that I do not wish for her death, any more than I wish death upon anyone—except, you know, Hitler and the like. I’m just making a prediction here.)

      • Frank Burns

        Your lawyer advise you to write that last paragraph?

      • TomFrank

        No, Frank, I just want to set myself apart from all the people who say “I hope she dies soon.”

      • Ed G.

        I think you may be right TomFrank.

        Her fascination with MM is borderline insane. The name of Lohan’s clothes line, “6126,” was designed to represent Monroe’s birth date (June 1, 1926).

      • Harry

        I think her mom has the Marilyn Monroe fantasy, and even posed for these pictures. I don’t see Lindsay or Marilyn anywhere in these photos,but I do see a lot of resemblance to Dina Logan.

    • kimmykimkim

      I know, she thinks she’s soooo glamorous! My morning dumps are more glamorous.

    • lkl

      I agree with you Clarence, and grow back that red bush.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Marilyn Monroe
    NennyKins
    Commented on this photo:

    God she looks now like her mother does at 50. Holy crap.

  11. Mike

    Hefner knows the prophecy. On the day the firecrotch is unleashed, he must die. That’s why he went over there personally, because otherwise he can be killed by no mortal men.

  12. Cock Dr

    I hope Hef didn’t cave and let her get away with hundreds of thousands of dollars for butt cheeks, gauzy lingerie and some side boob shots.
    But it reads as if that’s exactly what happened.

    • Dan

      It does – how is this different from photos of her walking down the street.

      • Mike

        No kidding, depending on which bender she’s on the day you see her “out and about”, she’s likely to show more than your average Hustler spread. At least the Hustler model has probably been washed off recently and is straight enough to take direction.

  13. James

    I”m getting sick and tired of you media folks giving conflicting reports as to whether Lindsay Lohan will be nude in Playboy or not. Yesterday the media reported that Hugh Hefner himself said that Lindsay would be fully nude. Now this story is saying something completely different. This is driving me crazy because I have really been looking forward to seeing Lindsay Lohan fully nude in Playboy.

    • TomFrank

      Yeah, Fish! We blame YOU for the conflicting reports! Come on!

    • Pippy Longcockings

      @James: You really need to get a life. Or just do the world a favor and end the one you already have.

    • Frank Burns

      Please fill out Complaint Form #09890-AS080 in triplicate, have it notarized, and send it Parcel Post with signature required and with a postage-paid return envelope. The forms will be reviewed by our office staff, and whoever ate the largest burrito that day will take a dump in the return envelope and send it back to you within 3-5 business days.

  14. Karl

    she got a million bucks for this crap??? i see more skin at the local pool.

  15. thanks, but I'll pass

    So in essence this is another New York Magazine shoot. Yeh, we all remember how ‘hot’ those were.

  16. Richard McBeef

    Why can’t someone just take the topless pics from back when they were above the knees, stitch in that beef pic from her getting out of the car, bolt on a head shot from 2004, airbrush out some freckles, and call it a day.

    That’s less photoshopping than playboy will do and it will probably come out looking better.

  17. i like looking at lindsay's vagina

    does that mean no photos with a dildo up her cooter or asshole? what a fuckin rip off! i’d rather have photos of her taking a fuckin shit in the street than have her looking like marylin monroe

  18. Lindsay Lohan Marilyn Monroe
    kingofbeer
    Commented on this photo:

    Yawn…

  19. Dan

    She probably shows up to hotel rooms and says she’ll only do blowjobs if she can finish you with her hand.

    THIS.

    It’s awful.

  20. Rachel

    Is it just me or didn’t she already do this shoot?

    • Miss Moppet

      That’s because she’s posed like that about ten times. Everytime she poses for some stupid artsy photo spread they dress her up like Marilyn Monroe. The weird thing is that she wants so badly to be seen as a sex symbol but at best every man I know is like, “meh” about her.

      I don’t get why Playboy would want to present her in a way she’s been presented a bajillion times. Plus she’s posed topless before so it’s not even like they have THAT angle to exploit.

      The things that made Lindsey sexy were the red hair, freckles and the sweet face. She’s made herself a very washed out blonde with horrid makeup and a sallow complexion that she tries to cover by bronzing her face into a copper patina. She killed everything that made herself sexy.

      • Dr.J Fever

        LOL Exactly what I and anybody that I know who even cares a bit has been thinking. We’ve seen her bits and the only way to make this interesting would be if she looked like she did and really showed the whole thing — the stuff Hef won’t let his magazine show.

  21. God is Black

    Jerry Seinfeld; “Hey T-Bone(insert vagina)! ” George Costanza (Lindsay) ; “No T-Bone(vagina) !” ,Jerry; “Why no T-Bone(vagina)?”
    George; “Because Hef said no T-Bone(vagina)!”

  22. TumTum

    No pussy = no sale.

  23. Frank Burns

    “Lohan was accompanied by lawyers, agents and publicists” – what, no younger siblings this time?

  24. Lindsay Lohan Marilyn Monroe
    Fawks
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow… boring as fuck. Sorry LiLo but while you still look good with alot of makeup and good lighting it’s time to cash in and do some serious full frontal. Preferably a porn too.

  25. LJ

    So Lindsay has show once again what a pleasure it will be to work with her. It would follow that the same entourage would follow her onto any movie set when she had a disagreement with the director.

    So, once again she has reaffirmed that she is unemployable.

  26. I just cant stop roughing you (Ray Charles)

    Whats her people’s two cents on nooks and crannies or GTFO?

  27. Lindsay Lohan Marilyn Monroe
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some heavy hangers in the main pic!

  28. cc

    Playboy could have made this shoot a lot more interesting if they’d just left open bottles of booze all over the set and then left for a couple of hours.

    “Hey Lindsay, we want you to get on all fours with your ass to the camera, crab back and forth across the bed, all the while singing ‘The Old Gray Mare’”

    “*hic*, Sure! Why not! Can I wear a feedbag full of blow?”

  29. NeNe

    She is so friggen hideous looking. She is far from Marilyn Monroe. I am kind of glad that she did cover up, because otherwise she would have blinded everyone at the shoot. Don’t they know everything about her is a sham. Playbody certainly scrapped the bottom of barrel asking her to pose. Playboy’s days are now numbered.

  30. Lord Invader

    Even in his pedophiliac senility, Hef’s still a smart businessman. There’s no way he would run an ad for Hot Pockets Philly Cheesesteaks in Playboy without getting paid.

  31. Spell check –

    After making her return for a reshoot, Playboy has finally approved Lindsay Lohan‘s latest batch of photos which will appear in the January/February issue on sale in Decemeber.

  32. Wy would anybody buy the magazine when you can Google -Lindsay Lohan Getting Out Of A Cab and see clear up to her lungs?

    • I just cant stop roughing you (Ray Charles)

      You’re one of those guys who steal towels from hotel rooms while you can simply ask management for one, where you maybe charged a small fee or not. Big deal.

  33. KumaTenshi

    *waits for the rioting masses to storm the playboy mansion and kill everyone inside*

  34. *declining whistling sound* … *poof*

  35. Uncle Phil

    This is why you go with the leader instead: Cheri.

  36. I hope it’s the lowest-selling unfortunate bag of tree-waste ever to get ignored on any Playboy stand. Nohan couldn’t lick the underside of Marilyn’s toilet bowl even after all this time.

  37. Satan

    I hope her vag pictures get leaked. I wanted to see that so bad.

  38. Damien Karras

    Totally fucking useless. Like we really want to see her model panties and a sheet. I’m with Fish, tits and vag or GTFO!

  39. John Book

    Look, just get your bad boys out, and show some red bush, end of story

  40. EricLr

    The Photoshop guy said that editing out all the individual crabs on her crotch was beyond even his skills.

  41. Anything less than freckled labia is a waste of film stock at this point…

  42. She should have posed in Hustler. Their photogs are great about getting them to spread wide enough so you can see what the model had for lunch and you would have got plenty of asshole shots. A vantage point most of us don’t see when she gets in and out with a car.

  43. r

    when playboy don’t want you to be naked something must be wrong.

  44. NoMoreLindsPlz

    Get her freckles off of my screen already, I’m outta Windex.

    Andy Rooney, Joe Frazier, Lindsay Lohan???

  45. anonym

    what the fuck is this

    $1 million to see her in shit the paparazzi have already given us?

    I’d like to see the downfall of Playboy. This is complete bullshit.
    I hope no one buys this issue

  46. anonym

    no pussy shot, no buy.

    I want to see how badly mangled that firecrotch is

  47. She’s not Marilyn, nor will she ever be Marilyn. Nevermind the physical disparity between the two, a quick run to imdb shows just how laughable the comparison really is.

  48. addicted2sex

    What a fucking tease.

  49. Lindsay Lohan Marilyn Monroe
    Crzr
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on now… is there anyone out there who can seriously consider Lindsay Lohan a sexy woman??, maybe if she was doing the wiener watusi a-la natural one could consider her a sex symbol, but she is NO Marilyn Monroe or even close to being her.

  50. Frig

    Bloddy hell, she can’t even be a skank right.

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