Lindsay Lohan Debuting Playboy Issue On ‘Ellen’

December 7th, 2011 // 34 Comments
No Nudity
Lindsay Lohan Playboy Marilyn Monroe
Just More Pretending To Be Marilyn Monroe Read More »

Now that we know her Playboy shoot won’t have any nudity, Lindsay Lohan is safe to debut her spread on Ellen because apparently lesbians like their porn boring and pointless. That’s not how you find a husband… Page Six reports:

“The pictorial is absolutely fantastic and very tasteful, and will be accompanied by an interview that will let readers see another side of Lindsay,” her rep said.
The troubled starlet is rumored to have earned $1 million for stripping down, some needed cash as her legal woes and struggles with substance abuse have made it difficult to book any acting gigs.
Lohan’s appearance on “Ellen” will be her first media appearance since she admitted to violating her probation in early November.

Has anyone shot down that $1 million offer yet? Because there’s no way Hugh Hefner is that senile to pay that much for spread that doesn’t even have ham wallet in it. Then again, he is senile enough to pay that much for a diaper change, and Lindsay’s crafty enough to trick Ali into doing it. (The key is to starve the subject first, then make them do your shit for you.)

Photos: Fame

superficial

  1. j-sin

    LMAO @ Ham Wallet!

  2. Frank Burns

    Lindsay was booked on a Sunday morning political analysis show until she found out it was called “Meet the Press”, not “Press the Meat”.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Its the Lindsay Lohan daily survival kit – an inhalant, cell phone to speed-dial her criminal attorney, smokes, and bottled water aka vodka.

  4. I’d politely like to remind Playboy that everybody with an Internet connection has seen Ms. Lohan’s shaved whisker biscuit.

  5. jennyjenjen

    Her lips look like she’s just done a fat line off of a dick she just sucked for said line.

  6. JC

    Wait, if they can show it on Ellen, does that mean there isn’t even any nip? Did anybody tell Hugh that Maxim already has the market cornered on non-naked, non-appealing chicks? Someone point him to the JWowww post.

  7. “What is this Marilyn Monroe crap? ELLEN DEMANDS FISTING!!!”

  8. Rough, codes of conduct

    I read a report that your negotiation skills increase significantly while in Nigeria or behind bars. It depends who’s at the end of the emails, though.

  9. Penetrator No. 11

    “Since we can’t show you the magazine on air, everybody in the studio audience look under your seats….chewed up bubble gum!” (Ellen’s the black lesbian with weight issues, right?)

  10. I don’t get it. For cab fair and a line of coke she will blow a chimp. For a million dollars she delivers “tasteful”?

  11. Is it even possible to refer to someone failing their way into Playboy* without using the word “tasteful”?
    The only thing I’m going to “taste” is the bile that churns up when it ultimately gets posted.

    *[exception: if Brittney Palmer ever poses :)]

  12. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    MLE
    Commented on this photo:

    The cover has been leaked online.
    Not that it matters, I think she’s nasty.

  13. MLE

    COVER HAS BEEN LEAKED

  14. EricLr

    Tasteful, huh? They are aware that “tasteful” isn’t the same as “Tastes like cigarettes and four-day-old sweat” right?

  15. Did they just replace her hair with yellow colored plastic?

  16. Venom

    I still think she looks hot as hell.

    • Superfly

      And you probably think your 1″ peener looks HUGE underneath the shadow of your fat gut!

    • Rinsey Rohan

      You are a sick puppy venom. You should go down to the local bus depot I am sure you’ll find your type just bring a line of and a $50 bill with you. Oh…you already know the drill, I forgot.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    Ina Garten's Panty Shield
    Commented on this photo:

    Note the lack of toothpaste.

  18. forrest gump

    this is the last time for even pretty hard learning,stupid americans: LET’S BOYCOTT HER AT ONCE!!

  19. tlmck

    Hello. My name is Lindsay and I m posing for playboy. Hello? Anybody out there?

  20. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    no matter what happens, she still looks good. freaking amazing.

  21. maddox

    Who the hell is going to pay money to see this fugly bitch’s freckled box?

  22. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Who dressed her? There’s no way she would have picked those flattering colors on her own.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    They didn’t have a shopping bag at Ken Paves?

  24. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Who are you talking about? Because that woman up there looks like a badly-tattooed, badly-haircolored, badly-collagened completely and utter mess. I like her hat, though.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Hat Velour Pants
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    How can Parliaments be here cig of choice?

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