Porn star Alex Torres (a.k.a. “Voodoo”) apparently woke up the other morning and decided he wanted some instant publicity by making up a story that hinges on Lindsay Lohan paying for goods and services while her dad was actually around and doing something that’s not kicking people in the vagina. It’s almost as if Voodoo has absolutely no idea who the characters are in his story which is surprising because I always assumed porn scripts are character-driven pieces. RadarOnline reports:
“Ask him [Michael Lohan] if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,” Voodoo says. “I’m not joking!”
Not only does Voodoo claim to have had “relations” with Lindsay, but he makes it sound like she paid him.
“Many of these Hollywood celebrities pay me a high price dollar to come and satisfy them. I’m not joking!” he says.
To clarify, host Jim Richards says, “So you’ve been with Lindsay Lohan?”
“I’m saying that,” Voodoo confirms.
Setting aside all the proof I presented in the opening paragraph that this story is unquestionably bullshit, does this guy honestly expect me to believe Michael Lohan hasn’t trained himself to wake up at the slightest hint of his daughter having sex so he can secretly film it and sell it to TMZ? He’s the goddamn Lex Luthor of shitty fathering. KNOW. YOUR. CHARACTERS.
Photos: Splash News
What’s this guy trying to do, give porn stars a bad reputation?
I wonder how I can get a gig satisfying Hollywood-types? Um, no refunds, btw.
“I wonder if they can sculpt me an Oscar.”
Maybe include a pic of this dude, for those of us not sad-sack enough to have a mental photo bank of all porn stars.
Evidently you’re not sad-sack enough to use the google either, huh?
If you watch Cinemax or Showtime, he is the dude that has been in damn near everyone one of those lousy soft core porn movies. The short doofy dude.
Short doofy dude? Is that a prerequisite, because it also describes Ron Jeremy. Why can’t they be more like Isaiah Mustafa?
Sob! Oh noes, I insulted a short, doofy dude!
You’ve watched THAT many of them?
He was literally in like 90% of the movies on those channels. It was impossible not to see him. I am not even exaggerating. I think his bio page says he was in over 500 movies so yeah.
This guy is a total douchebag, I’m not joking!
So is she.
now we know why LA is requiring all porn actors to wear condoms!
Yeah, Typhoid Lindsay here is ruining the adult film industry for the rest of us.
lol, holy shit, this guy does skydiving porn???
I didnt even know that was possible….Im starting to lose my touch.
I just don’t want to be standing under the money shot (again).
I’m glad firecrotch is back. Things just weren’t the same when she was a blonde.
Hell, if shes that desperate to pay a porn star… I’ll do her for free…. ya ya say what you will
There is no way in hell Blohan paid this guy for sex. Blowhan doesn’ t pay for sex. Others pay Blowhan; maybe not in cash or gold but with free coke, free room and board. I bet she got the Porsche from some dealer she blew.
“Blowhan doesn’t pay for sex. Others pay Blowhan”
I think that might be her official greeting.
Now that she’s hit the fetid low of selling sex just for admission to a crappy party, nothing is a surprise.
She had that single actual job recently, on SNL, so now that she’s flush she can be the john, not the hooker.
Counting the days until this talentless famewhore drops dead and finally gets the fuck off of my Superficial.
This is Lindsay Lohan not Mother Theresa, I don’t think anyone would be shocked that she slept with a pornstar much less paid for one.
he made skydiving porn http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=13d_1318607927
PG13 shit. I fake it better than that woman.
Honestly, the camera work was pitiful. Ain’t nobody winning a Woody award for this production. And incidentally, the story was completely contrived.
I also, don’t think anyone would be shocked that she slept with a pornstar much less paid for one.
What is totally unbelievable is that Lindsay spent a night in Michael Lohan’s house any time in the past ten years.
Yeah I would be shocked. I have NEVER heard of a women having to pay for sex EVER. Even fat ugly chicks can get dick and Lindsay is many things but not fat or ugly.
Its easy for girls to get sex.
This guy did manage to marry porn star Nicole Sheridan — I’ll give him that much. Although, she looks like an uglier version of Howard Stern’s wife, Beth Ostrosky Stern.
http://imagebox.cz.osobnosti.cz/foto/nicole-sheridan/N395646-e7906.jpg (Safe link)
“that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,”
That’s only interesting if Daddy Lohan is in the same room with them. Like Papa Joe would be.
I’m glad she went ginger again… it distracts from the coke bloat quite nicely.
It just moved.
So who got sloppy seconds, Alex or Mikey?
To which an insider source replied, “That’s absurd. She doesn’t pay to have sex with people. People pay her to have sex with them.”
Did she have her breasts re-inflated when she had her re-gingering? Or is that just an unfortunate angle/coincidence of swing-timing due to lack of bra? Or is she just putting on weight? Feh, I lost my interest in the answer halfway through typing the question.
That little bit at the top is how long her *actual* hair is now.
If you don’t want them swinging around near your waist for the paps, might I suggest a supportive undergarment? Some say this “bra” thingamjig is like a miracle shelf for the breastal region.
What the hell does she have on?
vodoo dude ios so gettin his ass sued off.
JQUERY IS NOT A FUNCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so there goes another notch in her belt. looks like she will have to get a second belt now.
Dude, have a little self respect (even though you are a porn actor, refuse to call them “stars”). I sure wouldn’t want the world to know I did the nasty with this coke twit. Besides now she will SUE you a@@. She never does any of the things she is given credit for doing, except time and CS. I would have taken that bit of information to the grave…………..
all i know is that she’s a very beautiful young lady who’s terrified of the lords. its like fear of water. that bad!
Lindsay Lohan is pregnant, just read it.
Yeah you know it’s complete lie when someone claims Lindsay has paid for something– especially a “high price dollar.” I’m pretty sure he fucked Michael Lohan while Lindsay was asleep but who wants to hear about that?
Wow, she’s putting on weight again. She looks the way she did in “Mean Girls.” Maybe bigger.
to dress like the judge, maybe this is her trick for eternally granted probation.
I’d fuck her six ways to Sunday, then fuck her on Sunday too.
She used to have an amazing curves and such a pretty face. Really miss the red hair too.