Lindsay Lohan Paid A Porn Star To Have Sex With Her While Michael Lohan Was Sleeping

March 20th, 2012 // 50 Comments
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Porn star Alex Torres (a.k.a. “Voodoo”) apparently woke up the other morning and decided he wanted some instant publicity by making up a story that hinges on Lindsay Lohan paying for goods and services while her dad was actually around and doing something that’s not kicking people in the vagina. It’s almost as if Voodoo has absolutely no idea who the characters are in his story which is surprising because I always assumed porn scripts are character-driven pieces. RadarOnline reports:

“Ask him [Michael Lohan] if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,” Voodoo says. “I’m not joking!”
Not only does Voodoo claim to have had “relations” with Lindsay, but he makes it sound like she paid him.
“Many of these Hollywood celebrities pay me a high price dollar to come and satisfy them. I’m not joking!” he says.
To clarify, host Jim Richards says, “So you’ve been with Lindsay Lohan?”
“I’m saying that,” Voodoo confirms.

Setting aside all the proof I presented in the opening paragraph that this story is unquestionably bullshit, does this guy honestly expect me to believe Michael Lohan hasn’t trained himself to wake up at the slightest hint of his daughter having sex so he can secretly film it and sell it to TMZ? He’s the goddamn Lex Luthor of shitty fathering. KNOW. YOUR. CHARACTERS.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Dick Hell

    What’s this guy trying to do, give porn stars a bad reputation?

  2. I wonder how I can get a gig satisfying Hollywood-types? Um, no refunds, btw.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wonder if they can sculpt me an Oscar.”

  4. tits mcgee

    Maybe include a pic of this dude, for those of us not sad-sack enough to have a mental photo bank of all porn stars.

    • Dick Hell

      Evidently you’re not sad-sack enough to use the google either, huh?

    • El Jefe

      If you watch Cinemax or Showtime, he is the dude that has been in damn near everyone one of those lousy soft core porn movies. The short doofy dude.

  5. Lita

    This guy is a total douchebag, I’m not joking!

  6. merciful percival

    now we know why LA is requiring all porn actors to wear condoms!

  7. Deacon Jones

    lol, holy shit, this guy does skydiving porn???

    I didnt even know that was possible….Im starting to lose my touch.

  8. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad firecrotch is back. Things just weren’t the same when she was a blonde.

  9. onos

    Hell, if shes that desperate to pay a porn star… I’ll do her for free…. ya ya say what you will

    • There is no way in hell Blohan paid this guy for sex. Blowhan doesn’ t pay for sex. Others pay Blowhan; maybe not in cash or gold but with free coke, free room and board. I bet she got the Porsche from some dealer she blew.

      • Shasta

        “Blowhan doesn’t pay for sex. Others pay Blowhan”

        I think that might be her official greeting.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Now that she’s hit the fetid low of selling sex just for admission to a crappy party, nothing is a surprise.
        She had that single actual job recently, on SNL, so now that she’s flush she can be the john, not the hooker.

  10. Counting the days until this talentless famewhore drops dead and finally gets the fuck off of my Superficial.

  11. El Jefe

    This is Lindsay Lohan not Mother Theresa, I don’t think anyone would be shocked that she slept with a pornstar much less paid for one.

  12. LJ

    I also, don’t think anyone would be shocked that she slept with a pornstar much less paid for one.

    What is totally unbelievable is that Lindsay spent a night in Michael Lohan’s house any time in the past ten years.

    • Uknow

      Yeah I would be shocked. I have NEVER heard of a women having to pay for sex EVER. Even fat ugly chicks can get dick and Lindsay is many things but not fat or ugly.
      Its easy for girls to get sex.

  13. This guy did manage to marry porn star Nicole Sheridan — I’ll give him that much. Although, she looks like an uglier version of Howard Stern’s wife, Beth Ostrosky Stern.

    http://imagebox.cz.osobnosti.cz/foto/nicole-sheridan/N395646-e7906.jpg (Safe link)

  14. CranAppleSnapple

    “that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,”

    That’s only interesting if Daddy Lohan is in the same room with them. Like Papa Joe would be.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad she went ginger again… it distracts from the coke bloat quite nicely.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Internet
    Commented on this photo:

    It just moved.

  17. Bill Clinton

    So who got sloppy seconds, Alex or Mikey?

  18. Burt

    To which an insider source replied, “That’s absurd. She doesn’t pay to have sex with people. People pay her to have sex with them.”

  19. Did she have her breasts re-inflated when she had her re-gingering? Or is that just an unfortunate angle/coincidence of swing-timing due to lack of bra? Or is she just putting on weight? Feh, I lost my interest in the answer halfway through typing the question.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    That little bit at the top is how long her *actual* hair is now.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    If you don’t want them swinging around near your waist for the paps, might I suggest a supportive undergarment? Some say this “bra” thingamjig is like a miracle shelf for the breastal region.

  22. imabrat

    What the hell does she have on?

  23. pretty scary

    vodoo dude ios so gettin his ass sued off.

  24. zomgbie

    JQUERY IS NOT A FUNCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. so there goes another notch in her belt. looks like she will have to get a second belt now.

  26. logan

    Dude, have a little self respect (even though you are a porn actor, refuse to call them “stars”). I sure wouldn’t want the world to know I did the nasty with this coke twit. Besides now she will SUE you a@@. She never does any of the things she is given credit for doing, except time and CS. I would have taken that bit of information to the grave…………..

  27. Herman Bumfudle

    all i know is that she’s a very beautiful young lady who’s terrified of the lords. its like fear of water. that bad!

  28. Wil Ferrel II

    Lindsay Lohan is pregnant, just read it.

  29. Anonymous

    Yeah you know it’s complete lie when someone claims Lindsay has paid for something– especially a “high price dollar.” I’m pretty sure he fucked Michael Lohan while Lindsay was asleep but who wants to hear about that?

  30. Sean

    Wow, she’s putting on weight again. She looks the way she did in “Mean Girls.” Maybe bigger.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    moopy
    Commented on this photo:

    to dress like the judge, maybe this is her trick for eternally granted probation.

  32. I’d fuck her six ways to Sunday, then fuck her on Sunday too.

  33. Max

    She used to have an amazing curves and such a pretty face. Really miss the red hair too.

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