Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Spread Might Not Be Good Enough For Hugh Hefner

November 7th, 2011 // 77 Comments

But she’s so.. handsome.

Thanks to being virtually unemployable, Lindsay Lohan agreed to a full-frontal spread in Playboy which has already gone through a reshoot after Hugh Hefner wasn’t pleased with the first batch. And apparently this new batch might not even make the cut, according to RadarOnline:

The 25-year-old troubled starlet had to strip down to nothing for a second time for Hugh Hefner’s iconic men’s magazine when the Playboy execs weren’t happy with her first set of photos, but the second time was a charm.
“The pictures Lindsay took last week are much better than the first set,” a source exclusively told RadarOnline.com.
“The final decision gets made by Hef on which pictures go in the magazine,” the source said. … “There is never a guarantee that everyone will like the photos or that they will be of high enough quality to use for the cover.”

So Lindsay finally did enough coke that her tits turned into those sandworms from Beetlejuice, that’s the only explanation here. In the meantime, if Playboy ultimately doesn’t like these photos, they don’t have to pay her the full million, or whatever it was, which means Hugh Hefner basically tricked her into coming in and showing him her vagina – twice – because she’s so desperate for money absolutely every other option is on the table. I may talk a lot of shit about the old man, but this is probably the coolest thing he’s done in a while. I’m not even being sarcastic. I wish he was my dad.

Photo: Splash News

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  1. Richard McBeef

    Hef needs to get some forensic crime scene photographers from the medical examiner’s office down to the mansion to discuss photographing bodies in various stages of decay.

    • Boner Steve

      Nailed it.

    • Randal

      Lindsay is going to come out looking like a star. She has great muscle tone, healthy long hair, bedroom eyes and lips many women would die for. That’s a package playboy should be happy to have before their cameras for any spread, let alone Lindsay Lohan.

      Randal

      • Randal

        Hi, my name is Randal, and I like little boys. I also like being a suckup to every celebrity in hollywood, because I have no life and that’s how I get my jollies. Oh, that and little boys; did I mention that already?

        Randal

      • Clarence Beeks

        HEALTHY LONG HAIR?

        that is fake shit attached to her head. she looks disgusting as a blonde.

      • Archies_Leach

        Beating off to Means Girls has kind of run its course dude.

      • Randal, it sounds like you’re still not up on your meds. You probably want to call your doc in the morning and talk to him about some pharmacological adjustments ‘cuz it sounds like you’re flirting with Tardive Dyskinesia.

      • billw

        She has great muscle tone? You’ve been looking at the wrong person. Lohan has absolutely NO muscle tone.

      • Pam

        Randal, your a sick SOB! Are you that damn stupid/retarted that you make a post like that, and your I.P. address has found and now been recorded? This isn’t the year 2005. Tech. has advanced and so has the knowlage of PC users. Hence you have been in trouble twice already for sex crimes against three minors. Time for you to go back to jail and leave children ALONE!
        Hopfully they will pass a law that sickos like you end up in prison with prisoners that HATE and would love to beat your ass on an everyday basis for molesting children.
        Again-your I.P. has been seen and the authoritys have been notified of your activity(s) online as well as in the state of CA.
        Have Fun in Prision!
        Your friend.
        Pam (Not a little boy-someone you will meet soon ;)

  2. Do Freebird

    Perhaps her was looking for fire crotch, but got genital warts instead.

  3. Do Freebird

    her=Hef

  4. R.A.

    What a complete fucking mess. Somebody get this muppet a toothbrush.

  5. Cock Dr

    I have faith in Hef’s production team. They will polish that turd right up.

  6. Considering the amount of photoshopping all the Playboy women get these days, I don’t see this as an issue.

    • But most of those women have something with which to work. There isn’t anything that can be done to this chick to make her look any better except maybe embalming.

      Hopefully, she won’t get the cover and they’ll stick her as the last pictorial. Then again, I hope they just throw the pics out and tell her it didn’t work out.

  7. Hugh Gentry

    this pig needs to die…but first let me see those plumpies.

  8. Frank Burns

    The AARP should step in and save Hef, for surely this constitutes elder abuse!

  9. Doctor Joystick

    Totally unrelated, but i have a question for ya Fish. what do a Penn State football coach, a Catholic priest, and acne have in common? They all come on a boy’s face when he hits 12 years old!

  10. cc

    ‘“The pictures Lindsay took last week are much better than the first set,” a source exclusively told’

    Not mentioned…the exhaustive search for a body double that occurred in those 7 days.

  11. Bane

    I wonder what that white ass jail tan is going to look like. Like others said, those photos will be so doctored they probably look good.

    I bet they remove all the freckles too.

    lol!

  12. Venom

    Can that old, blind, deviant pedophile even see anymore?
    How the hell is he even making decisions anymore?

  13. James

    I am looking forward to seeing Lindsay Lohan in Playboy. And I hope that Playboy releases all the photos. I want to see the first photoshoot too.

  14. Uncle Phil

    One of his last moments of lucidity, and he used it to save the 17 of us who haven’t already seen LiLo naked. You’re a true hero, Mr. Hefner.

  15. SIN

    I thought she was a coke addict. It looks more like a meth problem here.

    Just go do porn and have fun.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking good…for a 40 year old housewife.

  17. The first batch kept crashing Photoshop.

  18. it had to be said

    “Not one brown eye shot? Do them again!”

  19. terry

    Lets see:
    She has a meth mouth, saggy titties and her face looks like she has been going super heavy on juvederm!!!
    Um, I would have a problem using that skank myself.
    Although, serial killer Ed Gains would have had a field day with her.

  20. Probably just wanted to get a new set of her with her new teeth, after all the uproar about his “Crackwhores of the S.E.C.” went over.

  21. Do Freebird

    They were able to make a 50 year old Victoria Gotti and a 60 year old Nancy Sinatra good enough to get Hefs bone up, but Lindsay made him ask for the Viagra. Congrats on a job well done LILO.

  22. Do Freebird

    They were able to make a 50 year old Victoria Gotti and a 60 year old Nancy Sinatra good enough to get Hefs bone up, but Lindsay made him ask for the Viagra. Congrats on a job well done LILO.

  23. *SMH*

    I was going to write something really snarky…but it felt too much like kicking a 8th ave. crack whore who’s passed out after servicing half the Javits Center.

    Good luck Lindsay. Hope you can find real peace and happiness before you finally check out and it’s too late.

  24. Nate

    BS! haters going to hate.

  25. Anon

    Wow….those photos had to have been really bad for Playboy’s photoshop team to say “We need a reshoot. We are photoshoppers; not illusionists.”

  26. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    third_policeman
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay: Does any here know me? This is not Lindsay. Does Lindsay walk thus? speak thus? Where are her eyes? Either her notion weakens, her discernings are lethargied – Ha! Walking? ‘Tis not so. Who is it that can tell me who I am?

    Samantha Ronson: Lindsay’s shadow.

  27. Carolyn

    Nice chins.

  28. You can’t polish a turd. Airbrush, yes…polish, no.

  29. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Green Meanie
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey! It’s Stifflers Mom!

  30. jamoca

    i wish they had made tara reid show her vagina. i already saw her tits before playboy

  31. TRON

    Attention Hef:

    Sometimes bad publicity is NOT good publicity.

  32. So, how much Spackle did they order for the second shoot?

  33. forrest gump

    sorry, but most people, like me, can’t masturbate when she is around.

  34. Archies_Leach

    I’m gonna drink a fifth of tequila and a six pack and I should then be able to beat off to linds pb pics…… I think…..

  35. I see Lindsay is sporting a new addition to her chin collection.

  36. Elf

    Judging by that photo she clearly misunderstood the expression “spread your cheeks!”

  37. Nick

    I can’t believe at one point I used to find her sexy.

  38. Canada Guy

    Do people even still BUY Playboy?
    This rag has been going down hill for the last 20 years.
    They deserve each other.
    Hef wants a big hit before he goes down the drain, and the morbidly curious will buy this one. (I won’t)

  39. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    ashley schaeffer
    Commented on this photo:

    She didn’t get new teeth. They still look like she just ate a doo doo sandwich.

  40. jerry

    What a shock She has terrible skin….. she has aged way beyond her years…… the freckles are too intence…. she has …always looked better clothed her boobs are nice but look better covered

  41. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    linz
    Commented on this photo:

    no, it’s HATCHET face without the make up.

  42. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    GABRIELLA
    Commented on this photo:

    Ignorance, these women ate with HANDS berries stain teeth AND THE SKIN

  43. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    niko
    Commented on this photo:

    the hair matches the theets:))))the good side is that her hair look decently

    • Jay

      Her hair looks gross and over processed. She looks like a cheap hooker.. not even a high class hooker. Her mom must be really proud of her daughters. Both look like a plastic surgery “gone bad” ad. If she lives to be 35 it will be a miracle..but her mom won’t care.. she has Ashley.. who looks like a freak with her new lips and cheek implants.. Oh wait.. her mom said neither girl has anything fake.. RIGHTTTTTTTTTTT

  44. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Machiajtatuaj
    Commented on this photo:

    uff !

  45. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Ched_Head
    Commented on this photo:

    This isn’t nail polish. I’ve met plenty of drug users and I can honestly tell you that the bruising on her hand was caused by the heat of the glass meth/crack pipe. You begin to feel so good that you don’t notice the heat and it destroys your fingers. It appears shiny because her hand is swollen and perspiring.

  46. Big

    What’s so new about LiLo exposing herself in Playboy?…She has been showing her rear end in public and in court for months….

  47. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Kaylan
    Commented on this photo:

    Im surprised no one realizes whats going on, she is most likely using crystal meth, meth messes with your blood stream causing the purple/blue/black color on the extremities as well as rotting the teeth…the chip in the front is cause the meth is eating away at the teeth causing them to become brittle and break very easily.I hope im wrong though, but its very clear to me having much experience with that horrible drug.I will pray for her.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    Crystal
    Commented on this photo:

    Wtf? If swearing nail polish on your hand supposed to be cool and make you look incapable and old? Or what? Just wtf.

  49. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    bandarra
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s just nail polish. no big deal. she’s doing her own manicure, good sign — she’s adjusting to her current financial situation :P

  50. Lindsay Lohan Yellow Teeth Chipped
    disillusionisreal
    Commented on this photo:

    One should never paint their own nails when cranked up on crack…..word from your mother.

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