Lindsay Lohan Posing Nude For Playboy

October 25th, 2011 // 164 Comments

Let the descent into porn begin. TMZ reports:

Sources tell us the deal has been in the works for months, and that Lindsay balked at an initial $750K offer because she wanted … ONE MILLION dollars … to show the world what her momma gave her (apologies for the DiLo reference).
We’re told Hugh Hefner and Co. recently came back to Lindsay with an offer less than her asking price — but close enough for her to sign on the dotted line. No word yet on which issue Linds will be featured in … but it’s a good bet she’ll be on the cover.

$750,000 for Lindsay Lohan?! How senile is Hugh Hefner getting over there? He’s probably letting woman with real tits live in the mansion at this point. It’s goddamn anarchy! Well, now that we know how Lindsay planned to eventually pay her lawyer because that one was bugging me, it’s nice to see her dad commemorated this day by reminding everyone how he’s one half the blame for the freckle-FUBAR that’s Lindsay’s life:

Tampa Police arrested Lindsay Lohan’s dad at 1:10AM ET after they responded to reports of a fight between Michael and a live-in girlfriend. Law enforcement sources confirm it was Lohan’s on again-off again GF Kate Major.
Now this part is classic Lohan: We’re told Michael complained of chest pains when he was taken into custody — so police took him to a hospital. We’re told Michael was treated, and then was attempting to slip out of the hospital on his own — until an officer spotted him, hauled him down to jail and booked him for the alleged domestic violence.

Michael Lohan faked a heart attack and then tried to escape from the hospital? Jesus Christ, they’re like a family of shitty supervillains. If someone checked in with Dina right now, she’s probably trying to rob a bank with a shrinking ray.

UPDATE: So Michael is Mel Gibson now. This was supposed to Lindsay’s special day!

Photo: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Splash News, Terry Richardson

superficial

  1. Balls McDicktug

    Trolololol, this would’ve been news worth celebrating back in 2006 when she still had her big ol’ jumbo fake titties. Now this is about as exciting as when Tara Reid posed.

    She’s fucking done, over. But I can’t wait to see how they photoshop her body.

    • Balls McDicktug

      Also; BILL FRIST BITCHES!

    • They weren’t fake. Just sayin’

    • Cock Dr

      So I read recently that she fired her money manager. I wonder if that was a case of firing the messenger; he told her she was broke. Now this story breaks, which may or may not be true. Dina may have leaked this story to get the bill collection agencies off their backs, or to get a few more weeks of credit extension before they all realize it was just another Lohan scam.

  2. JabbaWho?

    can’t wait to count the freckles

  3. Carles

    Fuck yes

  4. flabbergast

    I’ll admit…. I’ll look. she’s certainly become a complete mess the past few years, but she’s still got nice tits I’ve wanted to see since before she became such a crack whore.

  5. I’m sorry but this is just getting really disgusting now. At first it was amusing antics, then it got worse..and worse..and worse. After those court pictures last week I can’t help but feel that there is something deeply wrong with this girl…and not in an acting out sort of way, as in something really really bad happened to this woman and she can’t reconcile it in her head so she’s spiraling out of control and just wants to die.

    I can’t shake the notion that this goes back to her parents and maybe that dark seedy shit on the casting couch nobody from Hollywood really ever wants to talk about.

    • Balls McDicktug

      You know what, that’s probably right. I’m sure Dina was blowing producers in front of LiLo and probably encouraged Lindsay to do disgusting bullshit. I mean let’s not forget / quickly dismiss Feldman’s quote. ” ‘I can tell you that the No. 1 problem in Hollywood was and is and always will be pedophilia. That’s the biggest problem for children in this industry. … It’s the big secret,’ Feldman said.”

      I’m sure LiLo was probably 10 years old with a stomach full of Hollywood Exec semen, a blood stream full of crank and vodka. We do poke fun but at the end of the day she should be used as a cautionary tale, but she won’t. She’ll just stay headline fodder and after she finally Winehouse’s, her parents will milk that titty dry. It’s a fucking travesty, but she also could take some personal responsibility for her actions.

      Blah.

      • MJB

        Wasn’t there a rumor that for some movie, back when Lilo was a teenager,she and Dina tagteamed with some actor or producer? And that was the rumor that got out. Imagine all the freaky crap that went on that was kept hush-hush.
        As an inspiring actress and singer, I have had music producers act all skeevy on me. The only reason I haven’t experienced that (yet) as an actress is I’ve only done really low-budget stuff as of now.

      • ohonore

        It’s “aspiring”, not “inspiring”.

      • Deacon Jones

        That should be the theme for the porno, brilliant!

        They can cast Ginger Lynn as her mom.

      • Hey, maybe she is realy inspiring… like a quadriplegic mountain climber, or something.

      • BE

        Problem is. Hef (sitting in his dung filled castle with teen prostitutes) catches these train wrecks on the way up AND on the way down. And y’all worship him then say Lindsey needs to take responsibility…

        It’s not just Hollywood’s pedophilia, huh?

    • Also, Deacon – for $10 and a bag of Cheetos, they can probably get Dina herself.

    • stratacat

      too bad her sister’s going down the same path. only a matter of time.

    • @MJB Don’t apologize – you may very well be inspiring, in addition to aspiring. I can’t say, I’ve never met you :)

  6. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Playboy
    Ryna
    Commented on this photo:

    Track marks on your arm are the new black

  7. Cock Dr

    I approve. They will make her look like a goddess for one final photo worship session.
    Then she & mom will take the cash and go on one final binge, ending it all in a flaming car crash or a tumble off a high story hotel balconey.
    Thank you Hef for writing that big check.

  8. OHHH

    i cant wait to diddle myself to these pics.

  9. I feel like I’m witnessing some pivotal moment in history, like the discovery of penicillin.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      More like the first diagnosis of herpes.

      Maybe Fish was right – God’s developed a drinking problem from spending too much time with the human race. This could be seen as proof.

      I say there’s not enough vodka in this world to make this photoshoot – or Photoshop – acceptable. Then again, I say there’s not enough vodka in this world, period.

  10. Her teeth and freckles will test the very foundations of airbrushing.

  11. fadingstarlight

    What is the point of a playboy spread of lindsay?? we have already seen everything a million times ( we saw he firecrotch and saw her boobs n that marilyn mnroe ripoff shoot)and its not like she has gotten better over the years…

  12. No rules, for rough engagement

    It’s due or die for old Hugh, because I expect nothing but nooks and crannies. You’re allow to lose respect for me only if you’ve never took a sip at a two days old expired milk. Price of Milk is going up again I hear.

  13. Coyote

    They are just going to Photoshop everything, including the scabs, sores, and bruises.

  14. Plurp

    I hope she opts for the late seventies, early eighties bush.

  15. direchef

    A pancake breakfast courtesy of a doddering old poon spoon. Excellent.

  16. imabrat

    That is just disgusting. I suppose as long as no one has direct contact with her, they will be safe. Yeah, she’s really getting her life on track. What a waste of freckled flesh.

  17. skunk

    they are paying the airbrush artist 1 million dollars

  18. AnnaDraconida

    …is there any part of her body she hasn’t shown off already (willingly or not)? They might just as well do a nude photoshoot of a random coked-up whore off the street

  19. mensa

    We all knew this was coming.

    Next step: triple penetration midget porn.

  20. karen

    Why not? She looks just like Marilyn Monroe…in Marilyn’s current condition, that is.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Playboy
    elduderino
    Commented on this photo:

    I for one will fap to that issue

  22. Despite the train wreck she’s become, I’m still pleased with this, too bad it didn’t happen when she was 18 or so. I’m hoping next she’ll go the Tila Tequila route and start camwhoring.

  23. First, the pics will be so airbrushed that what you see will be 7% reality. Second, what the hell didn’t we see yet?

  24. Henry

    Oh well, now all the guys in prison will have something to jerk off with.

  25. ace11

    Great News

    I’ll admit it….I’ll buy it

    when does the issue come out?

    Good Luck to the camera guys shooting her photos…

    • Cock Dr

      The photo shoot crew with bring sleeping bags and supplies for several days, because that’s how late she’ll be.
      Hef had better get a iron clad contract about what exactly he’s buying for that kind of coin. He’s dealing with Lohans and they aren’t to be trusted.

  26. cc

    I hear they are coming out with a commemorative edition of photoshop for the occasion.

  27. Jack Ketch

    I wonder if Dina will completely ruin the deal with all kinds of ridiculous demands (as usual). I agree with all the previous posters in that this is going to be one HELLUVA challenge to airbrush, all those skanky scabs, scars, scrapes, cuts, tattoos, and yeah, freckles (and assorted other “blotches”). The shitty part is that I collect this magazine, so that means I HAVE to buy the issue with her in it. It was hard enough having to buy Heidi Montag’s issue … gah.

    • wish a court could break the family apart like the fed did with AT&T, they’re fuckin trouble together. then of course they’re trouble apart too..

      she should have done this around her Herbie days, this is more morbid curiosity now than fapping material. tats, sunlight, and drugs have pwned her body.

      can’t wait to read MiLo’s police report, that is if cunt punting was involved. please oh please oh please….

    • rupert

      You collect Playboy? And you have no choice but to buy the issue?

      I guess there are worse compulsions. I can almost picture the PA (playboy anon) meeting…”Hi, I’m Jack and I’m a Playboy addict.” Win!

      • Jack Ketch

        Not an addict, just a collector … my collection dates back to 1955, and this skank is going to ruin it. Heidi may be mostly plastic, but at least she doesn’t look like the dog’s breakfast, lol. I avoid mags that have LL on the cover like the plague, but like I say, I’ll have to buy this one. Going to sell the collection eventually. We’re talking 740 magazines here, so far.

      • TomFrank

        Yeah, but is it worth that much if some of the pages are stuck together?

      • Jillia

        Hahaha, yea i was gonna say, “collect??” Let’s just call a spade a spade here, it’s a pile that has “collected” next to the shitter, reserved for a long day, mkay??

        ;p

      • akewlazzmom

        Hmm….our dogs breakfast even looks better than THAT. And that stuff looks and smells like previously expelled, re-eaten, and digested sh!t! Eww…

    • Jack Ketch

      No pages stuck together, lol … the whole collection is mint, save for about 10 issues, and each mag has a silverboard at the centrefold, used by collectors to keep the shape :)

      • CranAppleSnapple

        “this skank is going to ruin it”

        THIS skank is going to ruin it? Ruin? These words are losing their meaning now.

  28. Mike Nike

    I just threw up in my mouth. Thanks Superficial, for keeping her shit career alive.

  29. Keith C

    LOL NO THANKS! im good on that! YUCK!

  30. zomgbie

    dina is next.

  31. MJB

    Why are commenters here writing about airbrushing? Nobody airbrushes anymore. It’s called Photoshopping. LOL

    • stratacat

      you are such a troll.

    • rican

      I’m sorry, MJB, but I can’t resist any longer in calling you out on your insufferable babble of bullshit of the highest proportions. Let me get this straight, you’re a 27 year old female who’s had a high paying, specialized job in Wall Street, but you quit to become an “inspiring” actress, however, you’ve had no “come ons” from producers ’cause it’s all low budget stuff you’ve done (because producers of really low budget crap are pillars of decorum and self constraint).

      • TomFrank

        I’d say it’s a little creepy that you’re keeping this dossier on MJB, but I can’t really talk because I have her shoe size on file (8 regular or 8 1/2 narrow).

      • MJB

        @rican: Dude, you’ve got to get another hobby besides trolling me. If you want to believe what I post is bullshit, be my guest. *Oh, since you’re a troll, read my correction above (I meant ‘aspiring’)* When you have an advanced degree and speak 5 languages, it’s not difficult to get a job on Wall Street (this was before the financial crisis). I hated the Wall Street job but it was the only job I didn’t have to work for free at first as an intern.

        Music producers like to take advantage of the long hours working alone in dark, soundproof studios and guys in bands I’ve auditioned for have hit on me big-time. I act professionally and don’t sh*t where I eat. If I were a Madonna type, which I’m not, I guess I would’ve made it a long time ago. Besides I don’t do pop music. I don’t need to sell my soul.
        My experience with fledgling film producers and directors has been more positive b/c they’re just happy to have people work for free or very little $. I also never audition for roles involving nudity. I’m just starting out obviously, so I might have some harassment happen along the way. I did have a
        producer/director ask me out but he was cool when I turned him down. He wasn’t skeevy.
        ***So, rican, why don’t you stop trolling and maybe get out into the world and experience life before you pass judgment on others*** Oh, btw I turn 27 next week. XOXO Moronican LOL

      • kimmykimkim

        Alright you two, break it up. Mama doesn’t want to have to give spankings today. Those are reserved for Wednesdays. TomFrank! Size 8 regular, baby! And my birthday is exactly 3 weeks from today. Scorpios in the house – Whatwhat!!

    • SisterRay

      It would probably be better if you avoided criticizing people’s word choice in the same thread that you confused “inspiring” and “aspiring”.

      • MJB

        @TomFrank: LOL!!! My lungs hurt more laughing from your comment than from the bronchitis I’m recovering from. And you remembered my shoe size*bats eyelashes coyly* Now you know what to get for my birthday! ;) LOL

      • MJB

        @Kimmykimkim: I think rican would love to get spanked by you. Me? I’m more a spanker than a spankee. LOL. OMG, you’re a Scorpio towards the end of the sign?Damn, besides your apparent sassiness, you must be one dangerous chick. I never met a mid-November Scorpio who wasn’t. Damn, girl. Let me stand back. LOL

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Phoebe! It’s Phoebe Price! Love your work girl! Keep it up!

    • cupcake

      MJB- As i’m reading over comments once again i am baffled why I can’t get through a post without there being one fat attention whore trying to shine the spotlight on themselves. But then I realized it’s the same desperate whore.

      I don’t really have much else to say because you do it all to yourself. And everyone else has said it for me. Maybe if you didn’t spend so much time sending out desperate cries for attention on the internet and more time focusing on your career as an aspiring actress, you’d be in higher budget projects. Just maybe.

      Because of women like you is why guys think they can treat us like a moronic piece of log. Just stop it. Please.

      • MJB

        Wow, I don’t have one troll but two now. Awww, are you still mad from a couple of weeks back when I called you out for not understanding what I wrote and for trolling me? Get over it.
        Lots of commenters on this site share little tidbits and details about themselves—not just me. You don’t want to read what I write? Bypass my post—simple as that.
        You’re projecting too much of yourself onto me. Seek help. XOXO

  32. Oh, so she’s broke.

  33. forrest gump

    …..just BOYCOTT playboy instantly, folks!!

  34. rupert

    I will NOT be buying the magazine. However, I’ll gladly ogle those beautifully freckled boobies right here at The Superficial (no doubt) once the magazine is on the news stand. Another victory for the little guy! Thanks Fish.

  35. james

    She needs to find inner peace, her sould is damaged and her body is a reflection of it

  36. Hobo Wine

    Well, the only thing I’m hoping for is that she spends the cash and forgets to pay taxes. Cuz unlike possession or dui, when you don’t pay the man, you WILL go to jail!

  37. Here’s the rig they’re going to have to run Photoshop on for this job:

    http://www.cray.com/Products/XK6/KX6.aspx

  38. Desperately clutching for relevance: LINDSAY™ Edition.

  39. Techman

    Other sources are saying that it will be a non-nude set. Besides, even if it is nude, it’s Playboy and that means photoshopped pics with no graphic spreads or even full on frontal shots. That’s the way they always shoot ‘celebrities’. Seriously, you get a better look at their bodies from paparazzi bikini pics than you do from Playboy.

  40. So “sources tell us” this huh? Would maybe that be the same sources that told us Lindsay was getting a starring role in the Gotti movie? Or starring in Inferno? Or that she had only been to rehab once? Or that she wasn’t caught on film shoplifting?

    It makes little sense that Playboy would offer $750K to get Lindsay to pose nude when she’s been posing nude for a HELL of a lot less (like access into nightclubs) for years now. We’ve already seen Lindsay naked, there’s no monetary value left in it.

    • rican

      I agree, the only way to add value to such a proposition is to add penis insertions, in all holes, on video.

      • kimmykimkim

        Rican, exactly. I’m very surprised Hustler didn’t snatch her up. Hehe, snatch. The only thing we haven’t seen on this girl is her pink. Oh and her brown, we haven’t seen that. The oh so difficult brown.

      • rican

        I would definitely think about maybe paying to see some anal action, ATM.

  41. Playboy’s next feature rumored to be cute kittens with misspelled captions.

  42. Maurice St Claire

    Pink and pale , it’s the holy grail!

  43. I’ve seen paintings on sides of vans with heart shaped windows that are less airbrushed than her Playboy spread is going to be. My condolences to the folks at Over 50 magazine, who lost out on the bidding war.

  44. James Felix

    Maybe we’ll get lucky and her porn double will end up doing it.

  45. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Playboy
    sooooooosuperficial
    Commented on this photo:

    $1M to her is nothing compared to the cost of the army of Photoshop geeks Hef’s gonna need to clean that shit up.

  46. Abraham Lincoln Flegmm

    I think the only body part I haven’t seen is her butthole, and what are the chances she shows that??

    • Abraham Lincoln Flegmm

      Now, if she’s blowing her dad while Dina looks on.. that I would pay to see.

      • Schmidtler

        her dad’s broke, can’t get her acting jobs, and can’t get her into clubs – so why would she blow him? are you implying her dad is a coke dealer?

    • Abraham Lincoln Flegmm

      I want a close-up high-res photo of her butthole. I’ll pay 8 bucks for that. Otherwise, get lost.

  47. bundy

    looking forward to ruin that issue..::))

  48. Steelerchick

    Just great……….Firecrotch on the cover.

  49. Buddy the Elf

    With the team of Photoshop experts PB has this is a wise career move for her.
    Also watch her and Dina justify how ‘artsy’ it is and remind is that ‘Marilyn’ did it too.

    (Like there is any comparison to M Monroe and some 20 something slut who gives bathroom handjobs for coke.)

  50. Pippy Longcockings

    Playboy never shows beef curtains, and I need beef curtain shots to get off anymore. Who’s with me?

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