Lindsay Lohan Dodges Jail, Failed Alcohol Test She Didn’t Have To Take? WTF?

If you were expecting some sort of wacky legal scenario that prevents Lindsay Lohan from leaving the comfort of her house arrest after failing an alcohol test, you’re going to love this post. Turns out Lindsay really wasn’t required to take one after all, just drug tests [Ed. Not even those.], which makes me wonder why the hell this hearing even happened. At any rate, she’s only allowed to have one friend over at a time now because the court is very serious this time, young lady. Very serious. TMZ reports:

Judge Sautner said Lindsay is now restricted for the remainder of her house arrest to one friend at a time at her Venice loft, in addition to family members.
And, the judge said NO PARTIES at Lindsay’s crib.
Judge Sautner said the only thing Lindsay was guilty of was “extremely poor judgment.”

So, basically Lindsay Lohan was dragged into court just to be told she can drink herself stupid as long as only one visitor is in her house. Fucking awesome. Be straight with me, LA, is there a special courtroom reserved only for celebrities, and does the inside of it look like a Chuck E. Cheese? I already know the answer, I just want to hear you say it.

Photo: Getty, Splash News