Lindsay Lohan Thinks She’s Launching A New Fashion Line
“My coke’s wearing off, Lindsay. Is your coke wearing off?”
“I should start a hot clothing line – for Muslims.”
“Okay, your coke didn’t wear off. But we should still get more!”
A long time ago Lindsay Lohan used to have a fashion line that ended how all things that Lindsay Lohan touches end: Lawsuits and fake miscarriages. (I also would’ve accepted her dad kicking 20 vaginas.) But now that she’s rebranded herself as a Muslim humanitarian, or something, it’s time to get her grift on:
So Lindsay Lohan’s going to sell headscarves now? Okay. And that actually might not be a bad idea had Lindsay not spent an entire week telling every idiot that put her on TV that wearing one got her stopped at airports. That’s usually a feature you don’t want to include in the marketing, but then again, I’m thinking like someone who hasn’t had to built a canoe out of erect penises in an opium den. Or whatever she does for breakfast these days. We barely talk anymore.