Lindsay Lohan Claimed She Had A Miscarriage In Court Documents Now, Smart, Smart

May 12th, 2014 // 15 Comments
Lindsay's Boobs - R.I.P.
Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Instagram
Gravity, You Son Of A Bitch Read More »

For the finale of her reality show, Lindsay Lohan came up with a clever excuse for why she looked like a completely unreliable drug addict who should never, ever be hired to do anything including just letting a camera crew follow her around: She had a miscarriage. Which seemed genius at the time because only a soulless asshole would question her story, so why not take it one step further and use it to reopen lawsuits she botched because she’s a completely unreliable drug addict? What could possibly wrong? TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan has sworn under penalty of perjury she suffered a miscarriage … which means she better be telling the truth, or she could land in jail.
Lindsay made the declaration in new court docs in a $5 million lawsuit over her clothing line 6126.
You’ll recall, Lindsay was given a reprieve from responding to the lawsuit while she was in rehab last year — but even after getting out she failed to respond … so she lost the case.

Before everyone starts salivating at the thought that this is the slip-up we’ve been waiting for, there’s still a chance Lindsay can claim she was kidnapped by Boko Haram until Anne Hathaway saved her with her megaphone. Or she was chained up in a basement in Cleveland. Honestly, she’s got a whole bunch of these.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    I will never believe that her uterus has ever been in any condition to support, however briefly, the implantation of an unfortunately fertilized egg.

  2. JC

    Le’s see (consults law books): The penalty for perjury…perjury…here it is, perjury, as committed by Lindsay Lohan: “Perjury is a serious offense that can bring fines and jail time. In the case of LiLo, the maximum fine is $0, the maximum jail time is 0 days, and, at the judge’s discretion, she may have to do as many as 3 hours of community service, 2.5 hours of which she is not required to be present for.”

  3. Pussy Nurse

    Have you met her mother?

  4. I don’t suppose she can produce a doctor to confirm her story?

  5. Urbanspaceman

    OK, we all know that women who smoke as much as Lindsay (think Jackie Kennedy, think Sophia Loren) usually have trouble producing viable offspring unless extraordinary steps are taken. I totally believe her story except for the idea that anyone could get close enough to her (think unbearable stench) to inseminate her.

    • JimBB

      If smoking stopped you from getting pregnant:

      a) The Baby Boom would have never happened.
      b) Every piece of white trash in school wouldn’t be getting knocked up at 13.

  6. dennis

    Well if it is true. There is a huge number of guys highfivin’ each other because they could have been the father.

  7. She’s going to claim the father was Sam Ronson and wonder why no one believes her.

  8. She’s just fucking pathetic.

    • JimBB

      Something tells me that this is just the beginning of her decline. She’s going to go full Plato before the end.

  9. “Lindsay Lohan has sworn under penalty of perjury she suffered a miscarriage … which means she better be telling the truth, or she could land in jail…”
    Yeah, right!

  10. I don’t believe LiLo was pregnant, because anal sex normally doesn’t cause pregnancy. NO WAY she does normal. NO WAY.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Leather Miniskirt Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Lindsay but I sure don’t like that skirt! It looks like a normal skirt that she decided to just pull way up. Not flattering at all.

Leave A Comment