Lindsay Lohan’s Being Charged With Lying To The Police As If That Means Anything

November 6th, 2012 // 36 Comments
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And now for another exciting edition of Lindsay Lohan‘s Being Charged With A Crime, So Of Course TMZ‘s Going To Say She’s Almost Definitely Certainly Going To Jail This Time, Maybe:

We broke the story … Lohan told cops she was NOT behind the wheel of her Porsche when it slammed into the back of an 18-wheeler. Fact is she was — according to multiple witnesses.
Law enforcement sources tell us … the case will be filed as a misdemeanor by the Santa Monica City Attorney … possibly this week.
The charge could spell huge trouble for Lindsay, because she’s currently on probation for the jewelry heist. The criminal filing could trigger a probation violation, and Judge Stephanie Sautner — the jewelry judge — could send her to the slammer for a long, long time.

Of course, Lindsay will never go to jail because the prisons are overcrowded which made me think of something: Remember in The Bible when Pilate gave the people the option between freeing Barabbas, a violent murderer, or letting Jesus go and the people chose Barabbas over Jesus? Let’s skip all that and go straight to nailing Lindsay to a cross. Because, seriously, how long could that take? 10, maybe 15 minutes? I’m free this afternoon.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Nailing Lindsay to a cross? I’ll get the wood.

    *zing*

  2. Nina

    Miranda Kerr: age 29
    Lindsay Lohan: age 26

    • Cock Dr

      Ms Kerr is obviously a pro who understands that her valuable beauty commodity must be carefully nutured to maximize her profits.
      LiLo looks sick and worn down and she probably has less than 10k in liquid assets. I would pity her if she wasn’t such a thieving lying drunk driving waste of rapidly sagging boobs.

  3. EricLr

    Three more of these offenses, Ms. Lohan, and the judge will be forced to write you a VERY harshly-worded letter!

  4. catapostrophe

    You meant to type “violent murderER,” though Barabbas wasn’t one.

  5. anonymous

    We are talking So. California justice again. Nothing is going to happen to her.

  6. IAmAGuest

    This one is well on her way to breaking California’s 300 Strikes Law*.

    *-celebrities only. Everyone else remember: no jaywalking.

  7. YoMamma

    Totes serious trouble this time, you guys. Totes serious.

    • inkydink

      nah. this twat could kill someone in broad daylight with a hundred witnesses and she would STILL get away with it.

  8. Carl Spackler

    For her punishment she should be made to provide personal hygiene for Kim Kardashian’s ass , as that has a plethora of hard to reach places

  9. Archie Leach

    Self-important lindsay will invoke the special California penal code of “precious entitled princess celebrity” and will be given a suspended sentence of “we are so sorry that we bothered you from your cocaine and liquor binge”.

  10. FUCKBEAST

    Living….she’s still doing that?

  11. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Arlene
    Commented on this photo:

    Rode hard and put away wet.

  12. I’d say she should be behind bars, but really, I don’t hate people in jail that much.

  13. I like her, but enough is enough. Put her away.

  14. logan

    Would make us all a great Christmas gift though.
    Waking up Christmas morning to find out Miz Lohan will be spending a few hours behind bars. I say hours because we all know it won’t be any more than that.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    AUdrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, she looks like she’s 40.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    realist
    Commented on this photo:

    She is looking like an aging MALE Rockstar!

  17. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    That outfit goes with her psychotic tweets.

  18. mike

    LiLo is hard to kill, even sunlight can’t kill this ginger

  19. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Little Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    *SMH*
    Poor old whore

  20. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Commented on this photo:

    She just scheduled a meeting to go down on the judge and a few of her friends in order to drop the charges She didn’t date Sam Ronson for nothing.

  21. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    There’s something about the crazy in those eyes that disturbs me. When you consider all the crazy I’ve seen, done and dispensed over the years, that’s saying something.

  22. inkydink

    i want that coat. how come people keep giving her stuff? how does she pay her hotel bills? does this bitch get everything for FREE??????

  23. Alex

    Jail? That’s mental. She’s a favorite with the club I’ve mentioned before that got me banned by Fish because apparently anti-Semitic jokes are the deal breaker. You can do all the African-American jokes you like. But say the word Jew? Forget it. Instant ban. Oh, damn. I said Jew. Crap!

    • …Alex, perhaps you should exchange the word “Jew” for “Kike”

      It has been my experience that the Jewish community tends to respond to the latter much more energetically.

  24. Erik

    Why are ”Lindsay Lohan” and ”Jail” separate tags?

  25. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Commented on this photo:

    View from a wormhole 15 years into the future.*

    *If she lives that long, which she probably will, because apparently Death doesn’t want her any more than the CDCR does.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the “ugly friend” now, Lohan? I’d keep hanging around her, too, just for the schadenfreude.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s clearly texting “Bring lot moar drugs 2 this address”.

  28. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “@IRS: Y U a h8er? BJ fix all? JK lulz! #notreallykidding”

  29. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    mr. fuck you
    Commented on this photo:

    what’s horrifying is that this is the best she’s looked in years

  30. Lindsay Lohan Texting
    Bouncy Castle
    Commented on this photo:

    Would you take the job, if you were a PI, and it was all over the media that your potential client hasn’t got a pot to piss in?

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