Lindsay Lohan Wrote A List of All The Celebrities She’s Banged

March 12th, 2014 // 51 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan will do anything for money from blowing Charlie Sheen to letting Oprah televise what an unreliable and completely full of shit drug addict she is. Which is why it comes as no surprise that In Touch is now sitting on a handwritten (and naturally misspelled) list of celebrities Lindsay Lohan has slept with that includes, and I’m leaving out the ones people already know, Zac Efron, Adam Levine, Joaquin Phoenix, Jamie Dornan, Colin Farrell, Evan Peters, Lukas Haas (Now you know why Leo keeps him around.), Garrett Hedlund and Guy Berryman. There’s also a bunch of blurred out names which means those people promptly paid Dina‘s silence fee that also offers broken bottle of gin to the dick protection so it practically pays for itself.

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  1. Deacon Jones

    Its a good thing they blurred out my name.

    • Rasputins' Evil Twin

      Not to worry – most of the list is a blurr to Lindsay. Like most of her waking hours.

    • Tiggles

      You are on the other side of the paper, where Lindsay lists “Disappointing Sex and Premature Ejaculation”.

  2. Lindsay Lohan Daisy Dukes Pale Legs Smoking Cigarette
    Commented on this photo:

    If she is looking for a title,I don’t think ‘Six Degrees of Fornication’ has been taken.

    • On a side note, keeping some list of dudes you banged is the domain of girls whose self worth is limited to… dudes they’ve banged. I’m sure your local high school slut did the same thing.

  3. 1. Who wouldn’t sleep with her? Have you seen the freckle tits?
    2. Who hasn’t slept with Colin Farrel. I mean I don’t remember it but odds are I did too at some point. The man is prolific.

  4. Cock Dr

    I wonder how many guys she’s been with. It’s gotta be up in the triple digits right? This is the girl who screeched “I’m going to London and I’m gonna fuck Jude Law!” in the middle of a crowded club, she seems like a maneater.

  5. JC

    I guess they left off the page that just listed, “Coke Dealer on Bleecker St., Coke Dealer (Mom’s), Coke Dealer #14, Coke Dealer (Ali’s), Coke Dealer #17, Coke Dealer I Met in That Bar…”

  6. the list deforested most of south america

  7. Lindsay Lohan Daisy Dukes Pale Legs Smoking Cigarette
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “yeah..so…Emma says she wants chicken tonigh…but Walmart’s gotta sale on hot dawgss…So Imma pick up a 40 pack o hot dawgss…”

  8. Lindsay Lohan Daisy Dukes Pale Legs Smoking Cigarette
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dis how chicken head make money.”

  9. Yet another lively debate erupted, upon reading this article, between my brain and my penis:

    BRAIN:
    The disgusting little pig. As if it is even surprising, but still.. doesn’t she has any dignity, any self-respect? Ah! – asked and answered indeed. She is truly repugnant, the avatar of patheticness. I would never.

    PENIS:
    You wouldn’t?… FUCK YOU! Who the fuck are you trying to kid here!? WE SO WOULD. I would be so ball-deep inside that firecrotch! Yeah, all wrapped up, of course – I may be a dick, but I ain’t a moron! But still… BALL-DEEP! And, man, it would be sooooo easy – all we have to do is wait for her to be rejected by one of her rich marks at the club, swoop in with a bag of coke, talked about how our dad is also a shithead, and how much we love her mom, even though she may have a aerious alcohol problem, then BAM – RED BOOTANG! Hell, she is such a slut, you just know she would put out like crazy. I bet I could even end all up IN HER BUTT.

    … So that’s what’s going on inside on me right now. The debate rages on.

    • Jack Ketch

      You only have one ball??

      • Reminds me of this:

        It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3 kg. The length of the penis is three times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s. Women blink twice as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.

        The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb.

      • I’m a girl and I still looked at what my dick might have been. Not very impressive.

      • Ah! I unexpectedly revealed my secret shame…

  10. Q. If I find myself in the slow line at the grocery store, do I riffle through this number of In Touch Weekly to see the full list, or do I go for the Ladies’ Home Journal?
    A. LHJ. I already know Hollywood types all fuck each other. But I can always use another good crock-pot recipe.

  11. crb

    Wait, wait, wait, -to be fair,

    to STDs

    Colin Farrell is the male Lindsay Lohan.

  12. I know I’d get in that ass. Just for the story.

  13. This list is just a small taste. Next weeks *Truck Stop Weekly* is devoting their entire issue to a list of big rig drivers that have splooged on her in various Men’s room stalls.

  14. Meh, the celebrity list is whatever, that is expected, the real list is the list of her clients, Johns or whatever. How many hundreds of rich men did she blow or fuck to pay for her lifestyle of expensive cars, homes and drugs? The even juicier list would be the list of rich men in Hollywood such as producers and so on that she had sexual relations with when she was underage.

  15. CrashHell

    I don’t know if I buy this. In Touch is pretty full of shit. And James Franco is on the list. Whoever made this up must have seen This Is the End…or indeed this is true, and Franco put the biggest nugget of truth he could muster in that movie. Call Me Prince of Persia!

  16. ace11

    Amazing that this pig has never been pregnant

    at least that we know of

  17. Are we to believe it is only 36? I think this is part 1 of a trilogy that will rival the Lord of the Rings.

    • That’s apparently a list of famous people she’s fucked. The list of Johnny Lunch-buckets (like us) she’s fucked is probably quite long. Plus nowhere does it say whether or not the list includes guys she’s only sucked off. Also, I’m wondering if the list includes women she’s fucked.

  18. j/k

    27yo, at least 36 famous + ???? unfamous Even Jezebel would consider this slutty behavior.

  19. Wait a minute, this is just a SAG member list…oh

  20. renotastic

    Hopefully, Corey Feldman has the class to stay off this list!

  21. That’s actually a pretty shitty list. As a female, I wouldn’t exactly be bragging about a collection of douche-fucks. The only moderately respectable one listed is Heath Ledger, and A) He’s dead and can’t deny anything, and B) drugs.

  22. 36??? Only 36? or maybe the question was how many guy did you sleep yesterday? And she said wait let me do a list :)

    A big slut like her must bang thousands of people in nine years (of course I think she start having sex much younger than the legal age) but just say 9 years, we have to take in consideration that she was banging chick for a while so clearly she’s bisexual so that double the odds :) No way that the number is 36 maybe all those drugs she took are messing with her head :)

    • And here I was thinking “36? Holy crap, she gets more ass than a toilet seat.”

      • 36 It’s not really that much if you think that if she hook up with one a guy a month (that is extremely low number due her celebrity status, all the party, etc) in a year the result will be 12 guys, so in that situation she’ll reach 36 in three years, but she’s 27 years old and she have been partying for more than 3 years, with this in mind add the other factors that I talked about in a previous post so 36 seems very little number don’t you think?

    • Juch

      That’s actually a good point – why aren’t there any females listed?

  23. Eric

    And this is why actors were historically considered to be on the same social level as prostitutes.

  24. Shan

    I was unaware “people I’ve banged” is now a Scattergories category.

  25. I’m surprised Gerard Butler isn’t on there

  26. Hollywouldnot

    She’s a disgusting ginger-troll. Seriously. More important, WHEN are her 15 mins up?? Oh wait, after her porno movie debut.

  27. That’s a lot of roofies.

  28. I think of all the nasty skanks that I fucked when I was in an alcoholic stupor and I’m utterly amazed that I didn’t have to have my dick cut off to save my life.

  29. david(guest)

    SCHINDLER’S list didn’t have that much pathos

  30. Ang

    She must have a dirty vagina.

  31. anonymous

    Well the guys that banged her before the drugs and alcohol were lucky bastards. There was a point (around Mean Girls) where she hot. And a couple of her exes confirmed she liked it in her ass.

  32. Joe Blow

    Would likely have been far easier to list those she didn’t defile with her odoriferous fire crotch.

  33. whatthe

    I will cry if Tom Hardy is on that list.

  34. adele

    Yeah, and the list was supposedly left there in January of 2013. So the hotel staff just held onto the list for over a year then decided to sell it? This is such a fake it’s pathetic.

  35. MichaelCollins

    I’d hit it so hard whoever pulled me out of that would be crowned the next King of England.

  36. lenny

    The heater in her mouth is so classy, couldn’t get pass that breath.

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