Lindsay Lohan Lied To The Cops

June 12th, 2012 // 82 Comments
Not Supposed To Drive
Lindsay Lohan Elizabeth Taylor
Wrecked A Porsche Anyway Read More »

Lindsay Lohan‘s first reaction to anything is to immediately lie her face off and blame anyone and everyone that isn’t her. Except this time around she managed to lie to the police about who was really driving the rented Porsche that found its way smashed into a tractor-trailer, so here’s TMZ pretending that’s going to have any impact at all on her probation. They’re like an Alzheimer’s patient:

Our sources say, when Lindsay was in the hospital getting checked out after the accident, cops from the Santa Monica Police Dept. paid a visit. Lindsay told police she was a passenger in the Porsche and her assistant was driving. But the lie didn’t stick because later Lindsay’s assistant told police Lindsay was behind the wheel.
We’re told police are writing up a report that will include Lindsay’s lie. It’s a crime to provide false info to a police officer. In addition, lying to police could trigger a probation violation in her shoplifting case, which means she faces the possibility of jail on 2 fronts.

In the meantime, if you somehow needed more proof that this is all Lindsay Lohan’s fault, here’s her mother Dina resorting to the most bullshit celebrity excuse in the book that a breakfast rich in gin told her people would actually believe. Via HuffPost Celebrity:

“They were being chased by paparazzi on her way to work and the 18-wheeler ran them off the road. … Thank God they are alive.”

“And then a dingo took the wheel and started aiming for a baby because they really ate that woman’s, you know? But Lindsay tried to stop it and that’s when that 18-wheeler side-swiped her because truck drivers get bored out on the road and like to see animals eat babies. She’s such a responsible actress.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…”

  2. grobpilot

    Lindsay lies and the sky is blue. Truer words………

  3. Josh

    I still think that she (and her sister, who is apparenlty being starved to death by Dina and pimped out as a “model”) would be far batter off if someone would just put a bullet in her mother’s (and father’s, may as well whack Michael while we’re at it) head.

  4. Cock Dr

    That b&w publicity production photo is freaking me out.
    Graphic artist(s) involved are genius….it could pass for Liz & Dick.
    Made me forget for a a second that it’s lyin’ Lohan.

  5. Foul

    Would still germinate on them, so..

  6. Deacon Jones

    Speaking of an actual movie I’d watch, has anyone seen Prometheus yet?

  7. Techman

    If they were being chased by paparazzi, then were are the hundreds of photos that would have been taken and posted all over the net by now?

    • So let me get this straight – instead of getting in the limo which would have been a lousy target for paps in the first place, Lindsay’s idea was to take the Porsche so that she could outrun them? I think Dina’s been drinking whatever’s being used to dye her hair.

      • She ran out of gold spray paint to huff from a sock?

      • While Lindsay sure seems to be fucked in the head (proverbially and literally speaking), I’m beginning to think her parents are fucking psychotic. The intensity of their delusions, especially Dina’s, is totally mind-numbing. Can that harpy even wipe her own ass without blaming someone else for shitting out of it?

  8. Techman

    *where not were

  9. The Most Interesting

    Silly Fish! The dingo was driving all along! It was a carjacking!

  10. Jackie Chiles

    I am shocked and chagrined … Mortified and stupefied!

  11. kimmykimkim

    Still would have no idea who she was playing here. If I were shown this picture and somebody said “What screen legend is Lindsay Lohan portraying in this promo shoot?” I’d respond with, “Lindsay Lohan got a job?!”

  12. Why do the police keep pretending that she’ll ever be held accountable for any of her actions? Nobody’s buying it anymore.

    • Archie Leach

      Like I’ve been saying: those gay and lesbian porno photographs that dina has of the members of the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office and the top members of the Los Angeles Police Department must be VERY graphic.

    • lily

      the best thing the police could do for her is lock her in jail for as long as they would someone of a different class, area and race. it’s for her own good.

  13. dontkillthemessenger

    Holy shit… it all makes sense now. Look at this first picture. This is a vampire movie. Why else would the producers hire a ridiculously pale and soulless person like LiLo?

  14. cc

    We are all equal under the law.

    Remember that?

  15. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    fafaf
    Commented on this photo:

    lets be honest, Lindsay looks PHENOMENAL in caption picture for this article.

  16. fafaf

    lets be honest, Lindsay looks PHENOMENAL in caption picture for this article.

  17. lily

    sad as it is, this will end with her six feet under. then everyone will have celebrity death amnesia and celebrate her. that’s the way it goes. the people ridiculing and enabling her now will be the same people speaking of how shocked they are and what a waste it is. The only way out of it is for the people around her to stop allowing it. Not saying she isn’t responsible but when her own mother can’t see her enormous faults you know there is no hope. and as nice as it is that people are rooting for her comeback, I think it’s more important to root for her getting healthy first. The chances she’s given – SNL, this movie, she hasn’t earned any of it. And it’s only going to push her further towards her own demise. SAD. I think she will be dead by 30.

  18. “Lindsay Lohan Lied To The Cops”

    OMG…say it ain’t so!

  19. I can see the paparazzi chasing her now: “HOLY SHIT, CAROL CHANNING’S STILL ALIVE!”

  20. name

    Must’ve been pretty shitty paparazzi chasing her since not one of them bothered to take a picture of any of this… Funny how that happens.

  21. NATTY ICE

    She lies to herself everyday also, but that isn’t exactly groundbreaking news, is it?

  22. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    They kept overboard, swam to shore, and were never covered in producer juice ever again. Now go to sleep, Chloe Grace Moretz.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    They lept overboard, swam to shore, and were never covered in producer juice again. Now go to sleep, Chloe Grace Moretz.

  24. logan

    Read where she is getting into soft porn now. Called Valley, or Canyons or Deep Gorge or some sort of sh*t. We all knew she would end up in porn. The whole family has sh*t for brains.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Nathiest
    Commented on this photo:

    It wasn’t an official statement that Lindsay gave in the hospital whatever she said won’t be heard in the court of law unless she makes the same claim in her official statement to the police.

  26. Michael

    Can we just stop focusing in on Lindsay Lohan. I’m all for ridiculing celebs on a daily basis, but this is too depressing. This attention is either feeding her attention whoredom or is dripping her further more into insanity.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    sooo hot i want to lick that sexy nipple

  28. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    macks rude
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s fightin she’s fallin down, she’s being grabed,she’s gonna have more bruises, her lovely pink nipples are out, what a good date for that clown she’s with.

  29. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    i want to lick some titties and a whole lot more

  30. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Big tits, loves drugs, sex, booze and has daddy issues. WTF isn’t to like. Lilo, Lilove you xx

  31. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    AAPL made me rich!
    Commented on this photo:

    Yet poor Donald Crowhurst died at sea..

  32. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    We
    Commented on this photo:

    hot here

  33. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on Lindsay, don’t leave…I’ll buy you more coke. I swear I didn’t know it was yours.”

  34. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    dskjkf
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmm gimme some of that

  35. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Clay
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks to be 50 years old…

  36. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Governor Scott Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    “We’ll fix it in post.”

  37. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Nivaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    (coming from a typical guy who has NEVER had his pructies done before) he didnt feel out of place and LOVES your personality and how conversation flows easily. I cant wait to have you take ALL of our future pructies in the next coming years

  38. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    pooface
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope this woman sues Lifetime, she wont get a penny from Lindsey, then with the threat of litigation hanging over their heads, no other company will hire the reckless firecrotch and thus! Lindsey will slowly fade out/start stripping/ OD (although I hope it isnt the latter)

    Lifetime deserves to pay for hiring her, they knew the risk. This poor woman I really feel for her she must be devastated.

  39. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    cagster
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where’s my wallet, Lohan?”

  40. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Mickey01232000
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing that Linday Lohan and Elizabeth Taylor have in common is that they are both females.

  41. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember that costume prosthetic from “Back to the Future” II or III or ‘Rupaul’s Drag Race’ or that damn bar I keep having to drag my husband home from….”

  42. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nipulareactor ready to pull out and fire at the enemy.” “Just give your word to fire, Sir.

  43. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    “So much silicone….. so little (screen) time…..”

  44. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Realizing that her “Lee Snap on Nipples” had been overlooked in Wardrobe, Ms. Lohan lobs vile obscenities at her “Lifetime Personal Assistant, Vice President of Talent Relatons” for failing to read her all too transparent mind.”

  45. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    Just ask your grandparents, Kiddies. Lindsay Lohan has boobs. Liz Taylor had “BOOBS”. What you see in thiis picture is mostly an old Special Effects trick involving excess body fat and duct tape.

  46. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I know what my Sicilian Grandma meant by “Never trust breasts shaped like large Italian loaves of bread”.

  47. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a third nipple that is very hard to see because it’s about the size and shape of a Barbie Dolls. It’s looks just like this one.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how I’d like to think she was kicked out of the Chateau Marmont.

  49. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    lindsay i want to love you the way you need me beautiful

  50. Lindsay Lohan Nipples Wardrobe Malfunction Liz And Dick
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    such a great actress and beautiful woman and so sexy

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