When you’re an 18-year-old boy, there’s really not a whole lot you won’t fuck. Actually that’s true for any man at any age, but it completely ruins the setup for this joke, so just assume it only pertains to 18-year-old males. I’ll be your best friend. When you’re 18, you’ll fuck anything which is all you need to know going into this story. Page Six reports:
Sources say the 27-year-old actress is cozying up to Liam Neeson’s 18-year-old son, Michael.
The two were spotted Friday partying at hot spot Finale, where spies tell us they snuck off to the women’s bathroom together at one point.
Wait, wait, wait. I may not be hip to kids today with their moving picture GIFs and Miley Cyrus vagina records, but I’m pretty sure blowing a dude for coke in a bathroom isn’t “cozying up” as much as it’s a “drug deal.” Which must be great news to Liam Neeson who has a particular.. list of people that won’t get killed by Hitler. Ha! You thought I was going to say set of skills. You should’ve seen your faces. *jabs sewing needles into your kneecaps, ziplines away with a croissant*
Photos: Getty, Splash News