Lindsay Lohan’s Legs Look Like This Because of Biking, You Guys, She Was Biking

July 3rd, 2014 // 52 Comments

Seriously. Biking. Via Instagram:

A citibike gone wrong #notsoquiche !!!!

Wait. Did you think it was hooking? Holy shit, you thought it was hooking. Ohmygod, I am so sorry. This is embarrassing. I genuinely feel awful. These things happen. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Stinky

    How does ond fall from said citibike to the point there is bruising without roadrash on knees or elbows? Also some girls are able to pull off this rock t-shirt/cut off look, she cannot.

  2. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait. Is she holding TWO stolen phones?! Must’ve had a good birthday haul!

  3. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like an older Juliane Moore.

  4. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus F’ing Christ she is disgusting

  5. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to rot out some teeth to complete the west virginia meth head prostitute look.

  6. what the goddamn does notsoquiche mean?

  7. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck Me! She’s method acting for a Zombie movie right?

  8. I have fallen on my bicycle on pavement. I got skin abrasions as well as bruises. Where are her abrasions?

    Looks more like rough sex stuff to me, in which case, why did she wear these shorts? Advertising?

  9. Eejut

    Nothing to do with a fall down drunk and a glass coffee table. Nothing.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Eejut
    Commented on this photo:

    She will look the same as “Eddie” by the time she’s 30.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Why would a woman who’s money making capabilities are based on her looks/sex appeal wear shorts that reveal disturbing injuries?
    Is she angling for an exclusive magazine cover story or trying to break into the escort market for people who like it really ruff?

  12. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    A Realist
    Commented on this photo:

    “See this? This is NOT a vial containing cocaine, or other assorted barbiturates. It’s not.”

  13. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Brooks
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone snorted a line off of her thigh and got a little carried away.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re dying? No, no, no, you can’t die yet. You haven’t confessed! Say it. Say her name: Elia Martell! Say her name! You raped her! You murdered her! You killed her children! Say it! Say her name! SAY IT!”

  15. Really...?

    Still, Tommy Lee looks pretty great these days.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn paps always finding my gash

  17. Let us not lose hope. She’s now at the stage where she’s wandering aimlessly in public. It’s only a matter of time.

    By the way, how does one get one of those “publicist” jobs and get paid for making up inane bull shit for celebutards?

  18. Lohan is a liar

    Those are not cuts from falling off a bike, Lohan is back to cutting herself. The brusies are from shooting up in her legs. Lohan loves her Heroin
    Also she had the cuts and brusies while still in London. London doesn’t have Citibikes. Daily Mail has the pictures from last week showing the cuts and brusies. She lied and made the story up when she got to NYC where they have the citibikes. Lohan is dumb beyond dumb. You know those Junkies, can’t get their story right

  19. A Realist

    I mean…does the tucked in shirt make her look more refined and classy?

  20. Leila

    It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. Ugh. Though I can’t say I like her–at all–I find myself feeling very, very sorry for her. Raised by wolves and pimped out all her life, with just enough talent to convince herself that she can make a comeback at some point in the hazy future, she’s circling the drain. This is why selfish assholes should not breed.

    • Wolves are very caring and nurturing parents, actually. Raised by snakes more like. The rest is spot on.

      • Leila

        Thanks for the correction. You’re right, I don’t know anything about the parenting habits of wolves or any other animals, for that matter. I do know they would have to be pretty fucking horrible to merit comparison to the Lohans. Comparing them to snakes is probably too generous.

      • I read a story (confirmed true) about how Lindsay’s father once dragged her out of the car the whole family was in and started calling her a slut and choking her on the hood of the car…Lindsay’s bodyguard had to pull her Dad off.

        And yes, I believe that both her father and horrible mother pimped her out to guys for movie roles etc.

        I do feel sorry for Lindsay but while she can’t help what was done to her, it’s now her responsibility to pick up the pieces and fix things. I know it’s not fair to have to fix a life that other people broke, but the Universe isn’t fair.

        What we need is some kind of animal that prostitutes its own young…so I don’t think there’s any analogue in the animal kingdom for her parents, no.

      • May I present to you the rare species known as Kris Jenner. Scientific name” Beelzebub. This animal has no problem whoring out her calves to any black celebrity.

      • I would suggest that the words “parents” and “breeding” be used carefully in this case. Considering that Lindsay doesn’t resemble either of her so-called parents or her siblings for that matter, there seems to be more to this story than has been shared with the public.

  21. She’s like a living epilogue to The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Why would she wear those shorts if she knew those bruises and cuts were there? She must have been high.

  23. She looks like a reduced price chicken at the buy-n-bag.

  24. kery

    She should wear pants in order to hide her bruises. also Lindsay please go to a gym to have some muscle tone and eat. ;P

  25. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She must look horrible naked!!.

  26. Christ, that bimbo is dumb. She apparently doesn’t realize that pedaling her ass wherever she goes isn’t the same thing as riding a bike.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    slayer
    Commented on this photo:

    she. doesnt. care.

  28. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    slayer
    Commented on this photo:

    NAME A MAIDEN ALBUM THO

  29. She was riding a Citibike in NYC, or a Barcly’s bike in London and not one papparazi (or bystander selling a photo) got a photo of it?

  30. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body is just like Amy Winehouse’s, just before…you know… So sad.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Skinny Bruised Scratched Legs Cut Off Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    the cops are gonna be pissed off. They go through all the trouble of putting up their yellow “crime scene” tape and the corpse gets up and walks away . . .

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