Lindsay Lohan Wants A New Lawyer Already

Because she’s the end result of abusive coke-rattled semen forcibly fired into a gin box, Lindsay Lohan inexplicably ditched her lawyer Shawn Holley, who was literally the only good thing she had going for her, and replaced her with a guy who looks like a mob lawyer straight out of the 70s. Within the first five minutes of representing her in court he hit on the judge then spent the rest of the time rubbing his lucky rabbit foot which even to someone as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, was a sure sign she’s going right the fuck to jail. So now she wants a new lawyer, but surprisingly there’s not one in Hollywood who will accept blowjobs for payment. The gays are just ruining this town. RadarOnline reports:

“Lindsay is absolutely stunned that this is happening to her,” the source said about the starlet being turned down repeatedly by top lawyers. “The attorneys have tremendous respect for Shawn Holley, and they know that Linsday owes her hundreds of thousands of dollars, therefore they want nothing to do with her.”
Some of the lawyers view representing Lindsay as more trouble than its worth, the source said, and believe she will regret firing Holley for a long, long time.

Of course Lindsay Lohan is absolutely stunned this is happening to her. All she did was not pay her last attorney then fire her once she found some shyster who will work for free who she now already wants to fire. She’s practically a dream client, you guys. It’s not fair.

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