Lindsay Lohan Wants A New Lawyer Already

February 1st, 2013 // 89 Comments
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Because she’s the end result of abusive coke-rattled semen forcibly fired into a gin box, Lindsay Lohan inexplicably ditched her lawyer Shawn Holley, who was literally the only good thing she had going for her, and replaced her with a guy who looks like a mob lawyer straight out of the 70s. Within the first five minutes of representing her in court he hit on the judge then spent the rest of the time rubbing his lucky rabbit foot which even to someone as dumb as Lindsay Lohan, was a sure sign she’s going right the fuck to jail. So now she wants a new lawyer, but surprisingly there’s not one in Hollywood who will accept blowjobs for payment. The gays are just ruining this town. RadarOnline reports:

“Lindsay is absolutely stunned that this is happening to her,” the source said about the starlet being turned down repeatedly by top lawyers. “The attorneys have tremendous respect for Shawn Holley, and they know that Linsday owes her hundreds of thousands of dollars, therefore they want nothing to do with her.”
Some of the lawyers view representing Lindsay as more trouble than its worth, the source said, and believe she will regret firing Holley for a long, long time.

Of course Lindsay Lohan is absolutely stunned this is happening to her. All she did was not pay her last attorney then fire her once she found some shyster who will work for free who she now already wants to fire. She’s practically a dream client, you guys. It’s not fair.

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Barbara
    Commented on this photo:

    I went to high school with her Judge, Stephanie Sautner, and we both always got in trouble for TALKING…she was a fun person…you go Stephanie.

    Barbara

  2. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Jack Attack
    Commented on this photo:

    She seriously looks as if she isn’t really sure where she is. She is going to join the 27 club. Such a shame.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    She is 26 years old? Jesus Tapdancing Christ,,,,

  4. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “you said if I swallowed and let you do anal I’d be excused so I could hustle more blow , and now I think you were lying to me !

  5. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I slurped your jizz and this kind of effort is what I get !!!!”

  6. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “this is the last time I let a lawyer do me doggystyle without letting me snort and 8-ball first “

  7. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “blah blah , blah lying…. blah, blah,blah drinking…. blah , blah , blah , stealing … this so boring ! I am sooo bored …. wonder if the baliff has any coke …. where can I score …. Maybe the judge is holding … how can I get into the judges chambers without being seen… Maybe I can get into the evidence locker , there’s got to be tons of coke in their for sure …
    Blah , blah, blah menace to society … Blah , blah , blah , sociopath…

  8. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah , the cop never saw me driving , what a dope to belie…..”

  9. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    truly “Mommie Dearest”

  10. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    ” was that wrong? … I didn’t know that was wrong … I always drink and drive … I always shoplift … I always steal from people at parties … was that wrong ?”

  11. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    “This bitch is harshing my high !”

  12. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    100K to fuck this ? I’m thinking more like some 2 for 1 coupons at Burger King

  13. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    ” and he spooged all over my face ! Old man spooge !”

  14. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    the wrecker
    Commented on this photo:

    Herber dornk dargle marmp, Garbl.

  15. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Commented on this photo:

    (thinking) Wow… He’s getting his ass chewed! If I wasn’t drunk and emotionally dead inside, I’d feel bad for him.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Dreams is her future black lesbian cell mate.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom…Why isn’t the Oscar carpet red this year?”

  18. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Judge: Your lawyer is an idiot! I hope you’re not paying him!
    Lindsay: I’m not, and he’s worth every penny!

  19. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    chicka
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay, for fuck’s sake! Snap out of it, hey!

  20. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    they both look like plastic surgery freaks

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