Lindsay Lohan: ‘Jail’s Not Fair, You Guys’

With her release most likely happening Sunday, Lindsay Lohan’s starting to make a stink in her cell about being forced to go directly from jail to rehab without “family time,” according to her lawyer. I mean, it’s almost like the judge figured out they’re the root of her problems and is attempting to save her life. What a bitch! In the meantime, Lindsay is clearly being humbled by this experience and has placed several LA stylists on call for the entire weekend starting Thursday. Did I say humbled? I meant hasn’t learned dick. PopEater reports:

“I am sure Lindsay will be sick of orange and jumpsuits and I definitely think ankle bracelets are out,” Phillip Bloch, celebrity stylist and author of ‘The Shopping Diet,’ tells me. “Knowing Lindsay, I expect her to emerge in some skin tight jeans and some uber-trendy layered top. If I had the opportunity to dress her [Philip dressed Halle Berry when she accepted her Oscar] when she exits jail, I would put her in a soft and flowy sundress a la Natalie Wood. It wouldn’t be bad to soften up her image at this point.”
Steve Whitmore, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, told the LA Times this week that Lohan’s earliest release date would likely be Sunday, Aug. 1.

At this point, I’d say just let Lindsay go today. She has no stylists booked and her ass will be in rehab by tomorrow morning for a mandatory 90-day stint. I’m not even going to suggest that not having her hair and makeup done will be embarrassing when the paparazzi spot her because this is a woman who’s been photographed coked out of her mind for 98% of her life. No, really, Dina’s been telling people “Oh, that’s just baby powder” before she could even crawl.

Photo: Getty