Lindsay Lohan is the Luckiest Drug Addict Alive

June 30th, 2010 // 50 Comments

After watching her manage to duck jail while still drinking with a SCRAM bracelet on these past few months, it’s becoming painfully obvious Lindsay Lohan blew Satan at some point. And now on top of that, TMZ has uncovered the reason her 2007 DUI arrest was plea bargained so quickly despite the fact she was driving around shit-faced with half of Colombia in her pocket:

The officer “discovered a folded Clinique sun care card with an unknown substance caked on to the surface of the card in Lohan’s right rear pocket.”
The report goes on: “Some of the white substance fell to the floor. I used my foot to see what had fell but thought nothing of it. I did not recognize the substance attached to the card and initially thought the substance was a wet crushed breath mint.”
And now it gets good: “I put the card into the jail trash can next to the booking windows. I was looking at the floor and began to recognize the substance as resembling powder cocaine. I then recovered the card from the trash.”
The cop says the coke was in the trash for about 2 minutes. He put the card in an evidence envelope, then scooped up the coke that had fallen to the floor and placed it in a separate evidence envelope.
In short — EVIDENCE CONTAMINATION!!!

At this point, I’m convinced Lindsay Lohan could stab an entire day care, snort coke out of each child’s chest wound and somehow the only witness would be a deaf-blind-mute janitor who swears to God a bunch of black guys did it. Stop me if I’m making too much sense.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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  1. Michelle

    First!

  2. Michelle

    Second

  3. Pander Smirk

    what a lucky stupid bitch

  4. Cate

    Dumbest cop of the year award, anybody?

  5. AndyPandy

    Do police officers not have to be intelligent enough to use proper grammer in an official police report?

    “used my foot to see what had fell”

    Fallen? Anyone? No?

    • Reality

      This idiot can’t tell the difference between coke and a “wet crushed breath mint”, and you’re biggest issue with him is his grammar?

      Point

      You

      Notice how far apart they are.

    • kelley

      Er, grammar, anyone ??

    • Bert

      It just shows how stupid all of you are for arguing over this stupid shit. And now I’m doing it arghhhhhh.

      There is a point where such bad typing is like a speech impediment, but there is also a point where it’s just tightassed worrying over nothing. If it gets the point across, that is the main thing.

  6. ZigZagZoey

    How long til she begs to do ads for TIC TACs?

  7. Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    i would still like to see her enjoying a cock

  8. She is just a festering scab that needs to pulled off and thrown away. What a pathetic life and existence.

  9. Tom

    So, Lohan or Tila: which one do you want to OD first?

    • Ian

      Tila, in a NY minute. They’re both attention whores, well…okay they’re both just whores period, but at least Lindsay has done something other than just be a whore.

  10. Webterractive

    It’s Hollywood, California 2 different sets of Laws for citizens. But then again what else is new?

  11. Captain_Insano

    What useless cunt.

  12. Captain_Insano

    ^a

  13. barroom hero

    2 different sets of laws…

    slag.

  14. caligrrl

    Hard to believe a cop in LA would first think “crushed breath mint” when in the process of arresting this drunk & coked out bitch. Obviously he was a fan. Or something. Also, her fish lips are revolting. Does she actually think that looks good? I bet she spits when she talks. I’m with barroom hero. Slag!

  15. Mike Nike
    Commented on this photo:

    I wouldn’t eat her fire freckled stank ass puss puss if you paid me.

  16. Liz

    She didn’t blow Satan, fish. She blew the cop.

  17. Alejandro

    WTF does “half of Colombia” mean? bro that shit is racist and degrading and not to mention in bad taste to include a country that’s at least trying to rid themselves of this label with that fake, racist, stupid, vapid and useless cunt.

    • Bert

      Columbia is a drug reference, it’s it’s more of a fact rather then being racist. It’s not like he said “full Colombia”. Political correctness gone stupid.

    • DMVl@emai7658

      It means a shit ton of coke comes from Colombia dumbass. Ain’t nothing racist about that fact.

      If you want non-offensive BS get the fuck out of here and hit up cnn.com or something. You won’t be missed.

    • Juan

      Where’s Randel, we need him here to tell us how great Colombia blow is.

      • NatTurner

        Its typical of Americans to use the “columbia” reference for drugs. The hypocrisy of these folks is maddening. Its the same country that gives us white catholic priest that molest little boys and a culture of Hollywood stars where everyone has a sex tape. Dont worry Alejandro…the rest of the world knows what these people are!

      • Richard B Long

        Come on Nat everyone knows Columbia’s the land of drugs, just like Greece is full of queers; England is full of a@@holes and ugly women, and Mexico’s full of midgets. Hope I don’t offend anyone with that!!

    • Fish Sticks

      Colombia produces around half of the world’s cocaine and most Cocaine in the United States comes from Colombia. He didn’t just pull that “joke” out of thin air.

      If you wanted politically correct, you came to the wrong website.

  18. Marcus

    Think she will O. D. this year?

  19. hmmmm

    Totally lucky. Stupid cop. Anyone find it interesting that a cop could throw away your possessions? Granted it is just a card with no value – but that isn’t for him to judge. How does he have that right?

  20. aaron

    when she does die and by the way she’s going, it looks to be inevitable. maybe two years tops. its pretty sad that if it wasnt for the TMZ or sites like these we all would have forgotten about her years ago.

  21. Armando

    Fire that re-tard. Any cop that pull out a white powdery substance an doesn’t ASSUME its coke is a moron. She promised to blow him or get him on set for a something, gimme a break

  22. dan

    nah. the cop probably hooked her up.

  23. Danny

    Cops are just 12th graders with badges.

  24. brionna
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like 45 yr old women that drank,smoked and sun worshiped her whole life can’t believe she is 23. wow don’t want to see her in 20yrs yikes!!! not to mention she needs to lose the trashy blonde hair she so much prettier with red.

  25. asdasd
    Commented on this photo:

    asdasdasd

  26. Miles Long

    I just threw up a little in my mouth….although I was sniffing her panties I skyped from her locker at the gym, hehe….

  27. Big B

    Ok maybe its just me, but did anyone else find it funny that the word ‘duck’ was used in that caption when her lips look like that. I just assumed it was part of the joke. and i agree the cop banged her. So somewhere in cali there is a cop with a green whithered penis

  28. wonky

    clownpenis.fart

  29. Commented on this photo:

    Aw God, the face, no…!
    Yo paps, please stop taking pitures of her face and keep digitalizing those chest puppies before they melt into the Pacific ocean.

  30. Apparently Lilo is still upright (mostly) & breathing in & out. Good girl; stay alive.
    Unlike some here I do not wish death on this pathetic, mentally ill addict.
    But a long stretch in the cooler would be the right thing.

  31. hateyoufornoreason
    Commented on this photo:

    I HAVE drank, smoked and sun worshiped my whole life, and at 45 I look 10 times better, even with the trashy blonde hair. Huh.

  32. captain america

    I still see an ANUS in her mouth.
    …….WEIRD?

  33. Brood

    She was said to be found by her fans on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named [Ri ch ki ss.c om] but it has not been confirmed by her yet.

  34. Kaz

    Why come on here, i tall u go sleep an aenting rabege

  35. Slig

    Oooh come in my home and clean all . . . . .

  36. Hollie333

    LIndsey is depressed. If you don’t see this you’re ingnorant. She was born with a medical condition that casued her to have freckels and red hair.
    She has been hurassed so much for this condition that she finnally snapped.
    Had she not had this condition she probably would have brown hair and be freckless and tan. She hasa lot of haters who discriminate agains her based on these things something she can’t help. Some poeple tell her to not be fake but when she is natural people discriminate against her even more.
    The meds she is on are for depression. She can’t go off them right away because if she does it could Kill her. GOing to Jail big deal. But to discrimainate against her based on a medical condition she was born with is jsut plain prejudice. She has athma to so for people tryin to not let her breathe are just as guilty. Also to all those people making threats against her I will start reporting them becuase it is not cool to threaten soemones life especially on something they can’t help.

  37. movie download sites

    Be nice people

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