Lindsay Lohan is Obsessed With This

January 14th, 2011 // 109 Comments

A lot of times bastions of critical thinking such as myself attempt to claim that Lindsay Lohan is a crazy person using such tangible arguments as her parents, her history of drug and alcohol abuse – fueled by her parents – and flagrant disregard for babies riding in strollers – because she has shitty parents. Except none of that was even necessary considering the most obvious example has been staring us in the face the whole time: Samantha Ronson. This is who Lindsay Lohan is obsessed with to the point of renting a house directly next to her immediately after escaping rehab. I’m not saying Lindsay is the most attractive celebrity out there, but she has large breasts and a working vagina. Her options are virtually limitless, yet she spends her nights pursuing DJ Gargoyle. If that’s not the definition of insanity, someone needs to put Britney Spears on the space program because, clearly, we’ve got shit all backwards. “Does the moon gots McDonalds? Otherwise, like, I can’t be comfortable with this launch, y’all. That computer just beeped so it agrees with me.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Ilikeyp

    THE KIND THAT CURL YOUR TOES!!!

  2. Samantha Ronson
    Viv
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay looks frighteningly like her these days..

  3. Samantha Ronson
    yowillie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a hag!!!

  4. RasputinsLiver

    *

    Good fuckin’ god.

    It really rude lookin’.

    I get the feelin’ she’s a red-wing specialist.

    *

  5. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, DJ Trackmarks, one lump or two?

  6. v-tard

    With her hair grown out and bleached blonde…she looks OK.

  7. Imoss

    This is what happens when you eat Lindsey poon. All those drugs and alcohol run right to here va jay jay and rot your face.

  8. just wondering

    Somebody please explain how she made over $2 million last year? How can a nation owe the central bank trillions, have 15 million unemployed, ship it’s jobs overseas for delightfully cheap labor, allow corporations to evade taxes, spend close to a trillion a year on military, and still have the funny money to pay unskilled celebrities a fortune?
    Just curious.

  9. Samantha Ronson
    Flim
    Commented on this photo:

    The picture shows why Lohan is obsessed. (Its her magic fingers.)

  10. Samantha Ronson
    Melchor
    Commented on this photo:

    Macaulay Culkin with a vagina?

  11. Samantha Ronson
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    ohh god …i think im going to vomit

  12. Samantha Ronson
    herrdoktor
    Commented on this photo:

    … i wonder why she’s smelling her finger…

  13. Samantha Ronson
    Costamar
    Commented on this photo:

    She (or he, rather) must have a long, turbo tongue!

  14. Jim

    i guess that makes lindsay her precious

  15. Thandrale

    I think Sam is a bigtime crackhead. Thus the attraction for Lindsey.

  16. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    I think DJ Troutlicker might be trying to tell us she needs to take a poop.

  17. Ed

    Because on thesuperficial liking someone isn’t ok unless they’re hot.

  18. Rough leaks on the Superficial

    I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently, who knows a great deal about Sammy’s underworld. She explained to me, once you get into the two fingers club (or four depends on your ranking) death is the only way out. I must admit, I was taken aback by this alarming bit of info. However, it did shed some light to as of why, each time Lilo got out, they keep pulling her back IN. This is a moment for Lilo’s devout fans to ban together and get Lilo out. But, I must warn, based on my friend’s jubilance there might be some kicking and screaming on the part of Lilo. Brings lots of padding…

  19. welldoneson

    This pic gets added to my list of “reasons to destroy superficial.com”.
    It’s a ponderous list, to be sure -
    Snookis and Britneys and whiskers on porn stars…

  20. Samantha Ronson
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does this woman appear to represent what Lindsay will look like in a few years?

  21. Samantha Ronson
    Rachell
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW. Someone does a LOT of drugs. Also, she kind of looks like wynona ryder!

  22. Inmate 12236969

    We here in D-Block took a vote we’d rather fuck Lindsey than that—man are we getting desperate.

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