Lindsay Lohan is Obsessed With This

A lot of times bastions of critical thinking such as myself attempt to claim that Lindsay Lohan is a crazy person using such tangible arguments as her parents, her history of drug and alcohol abuse – fueled by her parents – and flagrant disregard for babies riding in strollers – because she has shitty parents. Except none of that was even necessary considering the most obvious example has been staring us in the face the whole time: Samantha Ronson. This is who Lindsay Lohan is obsessed with to the point of renting a house directly next to her immediately after escaping rehab. I’m not saying Lindsay is the most attractive celebrity out there, but she has large breasts and a working vagina. Her options are virtually limitless, yet she spends her nights pursuing DJ Gargoyle. If that’s not the definition of insanity, someone needs to put Britney Spears on the space program because, clearly, we’ve got shit all backwards. “Does the moon gots McDonalds? Otherwise, like, I can’t be comfortable with this launch, y’all. That computer just beeped so it agrees with me.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News