Lindsay Lohan is Obsessed With This

January 14th, 2011 // 109 Comments

A lot of times bastions of critical thinking such as myself attempt to claim that Lindsay Lohan is a crazy person using such tangible arguments as her parents, her history of drug and alcohol abuse – fueled by her parents – and flagrant disregard for babies riding in strollers – because she has shitty parents. Except none of that was even necessary considering the most obvious example has been staring us in the face the whole time: Samantha Ronson. This is who Lindsay Lohan is obsessed with to the point of renting a house directly next to her immediately after escaping rehab. I’m not saying Lindsay is the most attractive celebrity out there, but she has large breasts and a working vagina. Her options are virtually limitless, yet she spends her nights pursuing DJ Gargoyle. If that’s not the definition of insanity, someone needs to put Britney Spears on the space program because, clearly, we’ve got shit all backwards. “Does the moon gots McDonalds? Otherwise, like, I can’t be comfortable with this launch, y’all. That computer just beeped so it agrees with me.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. IttyBittyTittyCommittee

    I wonder where those fingers have been?

  2. Cock Dr

    Love is blind, retarded & strung out on drugs.
    Ain’t it grand?

    Seriously, DJ Sam must have some sort of a PhD in cunnilingus.

  3. fatguyinalittleshirt

    Jesus… throw that girl a sandwich!

  4. Alex

    All right guys. I’m going to go out on a limb, here. If you look closely (if you can), you can actually make out a very malnourished George Clooney in her face. I’ve gone so far as to edit out her hair, blemishes and the dark circles under its eyes. Yes, George Clooney.

  5. Wow, we went from Joanna Krupa pics to this. Thank you for killing my erection. : – (

  6. xanax in my beer

    Nightmare Before Christmas Hot Topic gloves, I just lost any possibility of having any respect for this lady. (reality check she is a grown-ass woman in her mid thirties)

  7. MarkM

    I don’t care what you haters say…That dude is HOT!

  8. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, we all know who wears the strap on. ;)

  9. Hugh Gentry

    she must have an enormous strapon.

  10. beba

    lick!!! lick!! lick!!

  11. She looks like she’s saying “hey, check it out, smell my finger. Lindsay…”

  12. brit

    It’s not love…it’s the access she provides – everyone knows that DJ’s always have access to the best drugs.

  13. Jammy

    Ya mean Lindsay likes Billy the Exterminator?

  14. lightdragon

    I wonder what magic does Sam have. i want it.

    • Drew

      It’s pretty obvious. Samantha Ronson is one of the very, very few people Lindsay Lohan could stand beside and actually look *better*. There are greater forces at work here.

  15. dude

    I gotta be honest with you guys—

    I’m straight as an arrow, but if I were stranded on a desert island with this thing, eventually my sexual needs would reach a desperate fever pitch. I would then slay this thing so I could use it’s femurs to club a gorilla into a stupor so I could fuck it.

  16. Yeezy's Mommy

    Didn’t this skinny aging whore make over $2 million last year? I wonder what kind of money engineers and scientists make?

  17. Susan

    look at that mug. Fuck. Just Fuck.

  18. GravyLeg

    I am sure she is. Everyone at the party knows it’s the DJ that has the best drugs…

  19. ChiTownEric

    I look at her, and immediately think of, Stewart Copeland of The Police in his younger days. She is a dead ringer for Stewart, even though Stewart is a guy.

  20. Stinky McPoop

    Uhm… Isn’t that one of the Goonies?

    And really, DJs are just valets for other people’s music… Nothing to see here, move along.

  21. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    anyone else seeing pre-plastic surgery Dina and a whole pile of Oedipal issues?

  22. Drew


  23. jumperatty

    She looks like evil professor doofensmirtz from Phineas and Pherb…

  24. Davy

    What can Linds say, she loves a mangina.

  25. Samantha Ronson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta say: she looks sickly dyke horrible.


    That’s what you call a “dipstick lesbian”

  27. hollie

    I know I can’t be the only person in the world who thinks she’s hot.

    btw…I read that Sam is into guys too and she gets offended when peeps call her “bi”.

  28. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    Good Gawd, thank God for Japanese Porn, I’ll head there now……bleach….eyes….Japanese Schoolgirls….oooh…..

  29. Lilo2

    Not obsessed, but I know I have more freckles than it. It just won’t let me finish counting.

  30. kraken

    I loved her work in The Walking Dead

  31. Menchi

    Given the title of the page, how is the main picture not a giant bag of coke?

  32. Sharkbait


  33. dnkypunch

    Maybe she has a 12″ tongue and can breath through her ears….

  34. She looks like if Tony Hawk and Golem had a son that just beat cancer.

  35. josh

    Why go lesbian if it’s for dating a boy look-alike ?

  36. Agwings

    It’s the Black Pearl crew’s “entertainment” from Pirates of the Caribbean. Damned moonlight!

  37. fdsgfds


  38. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    The crypt keeper is looking good.

  39. Aussie Mama

    Heroin Chic. What an unhealthy looking pig.

  40. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    One in the nose, One in the Vag

  41. va tomar no cu

    stupid jealous just because she fucks Lindsay every day ……………………….. idiot idiot idiot will take fuck off fuck off jealous Lindsay she fucks in all positions

  42. SuperT

    I think I get it..Lindsay’s seeming immortality,Sam’s grotesque appearance, Lindsay’s desire to keep her close…sam is Lindsay’s horcrux.

  43. Sid

    For every pig, there’s a pig-f**cker. :-)

  44. Samjo

    SMEAGOL? Does it wants it’s precious?

  45. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    See what Aids and Cocaine does to ya?

  46. wim

    …………….sticking two fingers in the nose?

  47. Vinnie

    Frankie Muniz?

  48. Just another Superfish Loser

    If only she’d put her fingers to her mouth and stick her tongue out–we might get Lindsey’s obsession…in other words, she must lick a mean cooty.

  49. Samantha Ronson
    Tommy Lee's Dick
    Commented on this photo:


  50. Ilikeyp


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