Lindsay Lohan is Made of Drugs, Says Probation Report

July 7th, 2010 // 103 Comments

Seen here sending the courtroom more secret messages than the gnomes in my cereal – I will not touch myself in the park! – Lindsay Lohan has apparently been ingesting a cocktail of prescription drugs ranging from amphetamines to the painkiller Dilaudid, according to RadarOnline:

Lindsay Lohan was taking a powerful cocktail of amphetamines and the powerful painkiller Dilaudid during her probation period, has exclusively learned.
The shocking list is contained in the 24-year-old’s probation report, which was given to a Beverly Hills court Tuesday. It is expected to be released publicly Wednesday.
Lohan, 24, who was sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating the terms of her probation, was also taking Adderall – an amphetamine used as part of a treatment program to control symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. The actress was also taking a combination of other drugs, including anti-depressants Zoloft and Trazodone. She also takes Nexium, which is used to treat acid reflux.
They were all legally prescribed to Lohan, has been told. The drugs were detected in the Mean Girls star’s system after she began random drug testing on May 26.
The combination had the potential to “kill her” when mixed with alcohol, said one source.

Damn. Here I thought the judge was making Lindsay keep the SCRAM on until she enters jail just to torture her, but apparently if she takes one sip of alcohol her body turns into an exploding pharmacy. How that wasn’t a convincing argument to let her take the damn thing off makes me question the entire validity of our legal system all over again. This was our chance!

Photos: Getty


  1. Que

    Que newswothy.

  2. Kristine Levine, Pornclerk to the Stars

    well the jokes on you, judge. Lindsay Lohan’s already a lesbian. They can’t break her. Jail will just make her better at what she’s doing now : eating pussy and lying. It’s like they’re sending her to training camp.

  3. stinky mcpoop

    This article makes me want to buy her a drink.

  4. rofl

    bahah, like we didn’t see this coming. classy “fuck u” written on your nails there, lohan… way to show the courts you’re mature.

  5. blt
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel really bad for her. Her asshole parents really fucked her up

  6. billabong021
    Commented on this photo:

    can’t read fuk all on that page she’s holding up..

  7. Deacon Jones

    This bitch has some fucking nerve begging the judge for leniency when she’s flashing her Fuck U on her hand….she got what she deserved.

    Money and lawyers can’t save you now, party bitch.

    Dilaudid will kill a horse, they give it to terminally ill people, and she got it for her wisdom teeth? The doctor should be nailed. And if I was the judge, I’d go Guantanamo on her ass and lock her in solitary confinement and would play taped recordings of people screaming for 24 hours a day. That’ll fix her!

    • blahblach

      I am not a celebrity nor a drug user, but I got dilaudid for a kidney stone… so its not just for the terminally ill. lindsay still sucks tho.

    • EB

      Yeah I’m a nursing student and Dilaudid is given for painful procedures all the time, not just terminally ill patients.

  8. Handle
    Commented on this photo:

    I love that in every pic of her and her lawyer, Loslut is crying and whining and having a fit while the lawyer completely no-sells her. It’s bad when your own lawyer doesn’t give a shit.

  9. Solara
    Commented on this photo:

    She just needs to take rehab seriously…she can still turn it around

  10. omg
    Commented on this photo:

    yuk! in this unfortunate shot it seems my grandma hand

  11. HackSaw

    I’d hit it.

  12. Master Spook

    She’s quite creative in insulting isn’t she?! Master give me a sign!

  13. Darth

    We could pull out her fingernails and send them to all the corners of the country?

    • Rush

      This ain’t Saudi Arabia, Darth. Here, we send them to jail to be rehabilitated – bwahahaahaaaa!! Not with our 90% recidivism rate! Jail has not seen the last of Lindsey Lohan! Or is it the other way around?

  14. Dina
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she really have ‘Fuck U’ etched into her middle finger – pointing at the judge?

  15. Ghetty Real

    everyone knows ‘never go full retard!’

  16. havoc

    Now if we can just get her to take the whole bottle at once……


  17. Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you P*ss off the mouse. Lindseys parents sold her soul to the mouse. Then when she turned 18 she started to stray. Pics of her without undies, partying etc….. The mouse doesnt like it. His Ho’s are supposed to stay pure for the public. Only submit to his sexual whims and wants. But lindsey strayed and walked away from the castle where the evil mouse lives. Since then the mouse has worked to hook her on illicit drugs and alcohol. This is the same pattern that Britney and others have followed. driving her to the depts of dispare. the moral of the Lindsey Lohan story…… NEVER P*SS OFF THE MOUSE!!
    (Miley are you listening

  18. Captain_Insano

    Jail!! Today should be a national holiday.

    What a useless cunt.

  19. Judge orders you wear bracelet and not drink + You Drink Anyway = You Go To Jail

    What is so hard to understand about that ?

    I blame these asshole lawyers too that want the paydays from the celebs so bad that you KNOW they are promising them they’ll get off only to have the judge turn around sentence her to 90 day, hence why we see the tears. She knew what she did was wrong no matter what her past was. Great to see a judge that doesn’t get star struck. Time to grow up baby !

  20. Watch now as LiLo crosses the line from over the top party girl to all out junkie.
    She has 2 weeks to destroy herself in spectacular public fashion.
    Nice touch with the fingernail message. What a dumbass.
    But look at the parents; is this such a surprise?

  21. meh!!

    24? holy shit!!!

  22. Armando

    $100 says she blows a guard fo a smoke

  23. Armando

    $100 says she blows a guard for a smoke!

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      Holy shit I forgot about that! She is a chain-smoker. Wow. I almost feel sorry for the little turd mouse. Almost.

  24. Pffft
    Commented on this photo:

    She obviously has no respect for authority, maybe she’ll learn some in the clink.
    Get it together, Lindsay! Quit the drugs and alcohol and make something of yourself. Your antics are quite tired and don’t garner you any sympathy.

  25. Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    So close, and yet so far…

  26. Marcus

    Life has consequences stupid bitch.

  27. Deacon Jones

    What is this a picture of, an alien with a hardon?

  28. Bob
    Commented on this photo:


  29. cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how these fucking celebrities start bawling when they are sent away for next to no time after repeatedly flouting the law. It’s like they are getting life without parole. Paris Hilton was even worse. These people really do live in a different fucking universe.

  30. jay

    stupid fucking CUNTING WHORE CUNT!

  31. Commented on this photo:


  32. cc

    Dilaudid…the only people I know who got that were people who were terminally ill or who had serious trauma/bone breaks. Who the fuck gave her that? Michael Jackson’s cardiologist?

    • blahblah

      i dont think its that crazy~ i had it twice, for two different kidney stones, once while i was pregnant. it is strong though.

    • Badger Bob

      Her wisdom teeth were taken out quite some time ago. I could understand a few Dilaudid (a narcotic pain reliever) to get through a weekend, but I can’t understand why she’d still have a valid prescription for Dilaudid so long after the teeth were extracted.

      If the prescribing physician was listed on the probation report, I would be emailing the DEA and asking them to investigate this dentist.

  33. anon
    Commented on this photo:

    what does the paper with red ink say?

  34. EatCake

    She can blow me for a smoke. The messed up girls with daddy issues are always the ones who could suck a bowling ball through 25′ of garden hose. I don’t care what any of you say, I’d still had it repeatedly…no, not with a shovel!

  35. Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Same tattoo as rihanna

  36. Commented on this photo:

    Money does not prevent one from becoming a f*ckup. And with 2 famewhore parents like she has, it’s no wonder this girl is screwed up. Half of me feels very sorry for her.

  37. Alex

    Now all of you naysayers can get in line to kiss my ass. I told you she would rip out her own teeth to get painkillers. “No, she’d never do that! Getting wisdom teeth pulled out is totally normal.” Yeah, if it didn’t happen to fall on the same week she gets a SCRAM bracelet, you morons.

  38. Jimmy Fury

    Such a shame. Ledger and Murphy mix the wrong prescription drugs and they die. This bitch eats half a pharmacy with a side order of tequila and blow and she’s fine.

    Clearly she’s a robot sent from the future to kill the geekologie writer.
    She must be stopped.

  39. hahaha
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, it´s like watching the Manson trial…and she even gave props to TMZ LOL!!!

  40. Muse
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, how classy of her! Love her paintjob on her middle finger. Man, this girl is full of class!
    Am I the only one that thinks Emma Stone is the new replacement of Lindsay Lohan- the only difference is that Emma is what Lindsay would look like without all those drugs- do you see it? (the girl from zombieland). Lindsay is just a lost cause!



  41. Muse

    Wow, how classy of her! Love her paintjob on her middle finger. Man, this girl is full of class!
    Am I the only one that thinks Emma Stone is the new replacement of Lindsay Lohan- the only difference is that Emma is what Lindsay would look like without all those drugs- do you see it? (the girl from zombieland). Lindsay is just a lost cause!

  42. j
    Commented on this photo:

    Almost feel bad for her :\
    She needed this though.

  43. Sugar

    She’ll try to say that she didn’t know that Fuck U was written on her nail and that the manicurist did it without her knowledge. She didn’t know it was there until she saw the pictures and was so shocked! Everyone conspires against her, and it’s always everyone else’s fault according to Lindsay. Who cares if this bitch dies, anyway?

  44. See Alice
    Commented on this photo:

    I love the freckle on her upper lip . So sexy
    I am guessing total time served 1-2 weeks

  45. Do_Freebird

    I’m pretty sure that in this picture she’s counting the number of teeth in her mouth and trying to figure how many percocets she could get if she has them extracted one at a time.

    And you’re right SF, this poor girl never stood a chance.

  46. Johnny Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure is “use the freckle face chick as a punching bag” in here. In all honesty seeing Lindsay cry made me sad. Why do we really hater her? Because she uses drugs? Because she parties a lot? Because she humps a lot of people? Well if that’s the case, then we’d be hating every damn media figure head currently in circulation, as well as few suburb kids we knew from College. Almost every celeb does coke. Almost every celeb gets wasted at clubs. They need it, because their lives are owned by Corporations and are always monitored by the paps. Their life is slavery in a way.

    And yeah they all thumb their nose at the law. Just take a look at how many rap stars were former drug dealers or used to be in a gang. I actually wish someone would lock those hoodlums up for once. But that won’t happen because the white kids who buy their music rly think they’re kool.

  47. Mike Iksard
    Commented on this photo:

    She will be more famous than ever after this all blows over, too bad , I was really hoping for a sex tape comeback. Can’t wait for all the interviews, book deals and bad girl roles to sprout up when she gets out…fuck my life.

  48. Mike Iksard
    Commented on this photo:


  49. vanessaisbored
    Commented on this photo:

    free lindsay.

  50. missywissy
    Commented on this photo:

    does anybody know what the letter says??? it’s fascinating she’s was writing this during her sentencing. Did she plan this??? She obviously planned putting her fingertips up to her mouth in a “suprised expression”. It’s obvious the letter will get sold to the highest bidder. I’m sick of these girls who think they’re above the law because they are pretty, rich and can act. Really, I don’t want to wish ill on this chick, but it’s good to put bad dogs down. Hopefully she’ll get “rehabbed” but seems like she past that.

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