Lindsay’s House Arrest Sounds Draconian, And She Made a Bikini Movie

May 27th, 2011 // 92 Comments

Lindsay Lohan started her house arrest yesterday, and just in case you didn’t think her sentence was cushy enough, she’s allowed to have as many visitors as she wants on top of no longer taking blood or alcohol tests. It’ll be a miracle if she makes it through the night. RadarOnline reports:

Under the terms of her home arrest, Lohan has to stay in her house 24/7 and must not go outside. Her ankle bracelet is connected to her phone system and is centrally monitored by the Sheriff’s Department too.
The home arrest is considered a better option for the authorities because they save a lot of money with no jail costs to absorb; Lohan is not currently undergoing any blood or alcohol testing.

Except it gets even more hilarious than that. TMZ reports she’s bought a ton of art supplies and plans to spend her time painting and – wait, wait for it – reading scripts “so she can decide on her next project.” AHAHAHA! She should write this site instead of me because there’s no way I’m topping that. On that note, guess who’s on drugs again. You’ll never guess.

UPDATE: Apparently, Lindsay just made some sort of 90 second YouTube video that’s nothing but her in a bikini, so I guess she really is reading scripts after all. I stand corrected.

Photo: Fame, INFdaily


  1. nooooooooooo

    Looks like a giant rehearsal video to be an extra instead of trying to act, at least she’s self aware that she can’t sell a movie anymore.

  2. ChonchArcola

    looks more like a Chanel commercial….

    “new from Chanel….CuntWhore No.5©”

  3. god rape the queen

    whats that a life after death clip ????


    she fuckin’ ugly as sin…
    all the gauze in the world can’t hide that big ol’ heaD & DUCK MOUTH …EWWWWWW

  5. Keith Chegwin

    It’s amazing what ILM can do with animatronics these days.

  6. Jack

    At least her boobs have range.

  7. imabrat

    If she “must not go outside”, then why does TMZ have pix of her on her shabby little rooftop hawking electronic cigs while wearing the ankle device?
    Just sayin’.

  8. the captain


  9. Oh Snap

    I kept waiting for a shark to attack to happen. By the 20 second mark, I was practically begging for it.

  10. Um

    The only thing missing is that wholesome snuff kind of ending.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Bikini Short Film
    Commented on this photo:

    Her lips make her look like a duck

  12. Seenbot

    How long has it been since she’s been ugly?

  13. welldoneson

    that was so bad I think it gave me cancer

  14. A) For some reason she changed into a turtleneck at the 30-second mark.
    B) Worst side-boob ever
    C) This pretty much summed up her “acting” skills

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