Lindsay Lohan started her house arrest yesterday, and just in case you didn’t think her sentence was cushy enough, she’s allowed to have as many visitors as she wants on top of no longer taking blood or alcohol tests. It’ll be a miracle if she makes it through the night. RadarOnline reports:
Under the terms of her home arrest, Lohan has to stay in her house 24/7 and must not go outside. Her ankle bracelet is connected to her phone system and is centrally monitored by the Sheriff’s Department too.
The home arrest is considered a better option for the authorities because they save a lot of money with no jail costs to absorb; Lohan is not currently undergoing any blood or alcohol testing.
Except it gets even more hilarious than that. TMZ reports she’s bought a ton of art supplies and plans to spend her time painting and – wait, wait for it – reading scripts “so she can decide on her next project.” AHAHAHA! She should write this site instead of me because there’s no way I’m topping that. On that note, guess who’s on drugs again. You’ll never guess.
UPDATE: Apparently, Lindsay just made some sort of 90 second YouTube video that’s nothing but her in a bikini, so I guess she really is reading scripts after all. I stand corrected.
She’s enthralled with herself. It’s a romance of one.
Why do you think she loves coke so much? She gets to incorporate her 3 favourite things: Drugs, money and her reflection in the mirror.
that was gooood, bianca
bianca, NICE. *applauds*
Definitely want to tongue that pussy and tight little asshole. Gawddamn, my buddy’s girlfriend looks kind of like her and he let me and my other buddy Troy fuck her with him… It was awesome, the whole time I just imagined it was LiLo. Score.
robo-jihan, i’m glad you seem to have enjoyed that tryst. at the same time when 3 dudes get nude and stiff and there’s only 1 girl who’s involved, that sir is quite frankly gay. 3 cocks 1 girl? c’mon now. i suppose you’re flying a rainbow flag for memorial day, yeah?
What a wonderful range she has – drugged, dazed, confused, she can do it all.
She covered a range of emotions — from A to B. So deeply moving.
She be gross
holy mackerel the extra weight has really helped. that video was sexy as fuck
Haha…damn you spellcheck! your browser autocorrected the word “boring” to “sexy”.
hey, i’m in my late 40′s, so a chick who looks 40 (and has nice tits) is just fine :)
I’m in my mid 40′s and unless something really tragic happens in the next 5 years, I’m still going to put this one down as “do not want”.
Juggsy McCrackwhore!
She looks pretty good for 40.
lmao
wtf was that
That was dumb as shit.
WTF did I just watch???
I would still capsize her sailboat.
WOW does that suck!
I have ripped farts that came out better than that movie. Made more sense too.
Thanks…I just spit Mountain Dew all over my computer screen. Hot damn that was funny! LOL
Polls are in and the results show that 99.9% of the population would much rather watch McBeef break wind than to watch anything created by the useless manatee formerly known as Lohan.
Well, that’s 90 seconds of my life I’ll never get back. I seriously don’t understand what anyone ever saw in her, trainwreck or no trainwreck.
What else would you’ve done with the 90 seconds really? Shut up with that tired ass line, please.
holy shit you are so right, doo dat
Reading your tedious comment about 90 seconds of your life lost watching Lindsay is 90 seconds none of us will ever get back either….who gives a rat’s behind….STFU, watch the video again, make it an even 180 lost and then forget it!
She should really avoid close up shots of her face. The wrinkled leathery skin look is not in style this season.
Still hot as fuck with giant super delicious tits.
Yep, Slurpies is such a hot and sexy Lindsay Lohan designer disease.
I probably still would.
This Richard Phillips guy probably just took advantage of the fact that she’s desperate to be filmed, and dumb as a box of rocks. …”ok Lindsay, this next scene is an homage to Brown Bunny…it totally made Chloe Sevigny’s carrer”
career?
tomato…tomatoe
“Draconian?” Listen, college boy, lay off the $5 words.
She ALWAYS look like she’s been standing behind someone with a bad case of the hershey squirts. Notice the speckling?
yes! her cornwagon looks that way too. people can’t be sure whether they’re freckles or a shoddy wiping performance!
LOL! Gross. Funny as hell, but gross nonetheless. LOL
LMAO the shit hit the fan right in front of Lohan.
Nice undergraduate film school project.
“Wh-wh-what do you mean I still have to go under house arrest?! You promised if I let you film me in a bikini I could have all the c-c-coke, booze and freedom I wanted”
You could pack for a month long trip to Europe with the bags under her eyes
I’ve developed trust issues with you Fish.
I’m not positive but I think that might have been a trailer for “Jaws IV – Revenge of the Lohan!”
Art-farty terribleness aside, I would shove my cock so far down her throat it would come out her ass.
Please don’t worry when your cock falls off.
give her the ol’ purple tail eh? normally i’d agree with you except that in this instance, we’re talking about lohan and i don’t find her the least bit attractive. i think her look could be reasonalby defined as, “crusty” and she causes my wang to travel back up inside my gut. now if we were talking about tila tequila, (despite all the rabid hate that she inspires) i’d smell her ass so hard i’d get her manure in my brain. (i just watched her sex tape and she’s fresh in my yet-to-be-manure-filled mind.)
bitch tries too hard now. it’s pathetic. at least charlie sheen isn’t even trying anymore.
she looks like Marilyn Monroe in her last movie. The year she died. When she was 36.
Wait, the producer’s name is Dick Fillups?
She rules. Period.
And you know thiiiiiiiis!
Say what you will, but I’d totally dick punch her in the fart box.
What’s the chance Richard Philips is her dealer?
great waves just outside her house…
Whew! Thank god there wasn’t any speaking… girl like that only has a chance of acting by keeping her mouth shut. Unless she *really* needs a role, then her mouth can be WIDE OPEN.
That video was a satire, right? Either Lindsay is a comic genius, or truly the saddest person that ever lived. We’ll never know.
hey sweetheart… : )))
art
Come on guys, she’s deep now
Fish, sorry to hear you’re back on drugs after attempting to write something as creative as Lindsay saying she is reading scripts. It is definitely enough to drive you to drug use, knowing that she writes better sarcastic stuff. When does Photoboy step in so you can enter rehab?
If she had done it all naked, then I’d truly be impressed by her boldness and artistic intensity. You women need to be more open with your bodies and give the world some sense of pleasure/hope in these dismal times. to those of you young babes out there who have, as I noticed at the dmv today some girls airing out the boobs and showing off a lot of skin, THANK YOU.
“If she had done it all naked, then I’d truly be impressed by her boldness and artistic intensity.”
That’s an interesting theory. Sadly, she probably has alot of stretch marks, needle scars, and worn-out pussy lips flapping in the breeze. It’d look like those ugly-ass women on Drunken Stepfather.
Maybe once she cleans herself up, my interests will skyrocket.
Yeah Mike, but every celeb has that. Don’t even get me started on Sheen, Downey Jr, Keith Richards, or all the pornstars we watch. The pornstars got crystal meth waiting for them on set when they do their scenes. Come to think of it Richards was worse than all of them above.
Personally other than Diora Baird, Lindsay is perhaps the hottest ginger I’ve ever seen.
I’d still lick her asshole
I would marry her just to tap her butthole and screw them tits and fuck her mouth
Oh yeah every once in awhile the vah jay jay
Look, the fact that shes fallen from grace doesn’t matter, as she wouldn’t be the first past-her-prime cokewhore with questionable skin-quality thats used my face as a fucking tricycle. Bring it on, bitch.
That would be just a tad bit better with a scene of her in a dirty alleyway, slamming her hand on the pavement screaming “Lindsay Lohan!” a la Patty Duke in Valley Of The Dolls.
LOL! Just wait until her next drunken fall/debacle.
I fucking love this bitch and i could watch a two hour version of this! Hail LiLo! Yall just stfu and go back to yr boring lives… Thanx!
Well, if there are a lot of scripts that mainly contain her staring out in to space and turning her head slowly, I suppose we will be seeing more of her soon.
“That isn’t vodka. I was told it would be vodka.”
pssst: this is a way the always horny americans will even forgive MURDER.
She looks like she washes herself with cigarette ashes. She’s such a drunken stupid skank, she’s disgusting.
She’s been driving crazy this past week. Just churning out the hotness. It’s like Machete all over again but without the teasing and body doubles.
A pathetic attempt to con the public into believing the swamp creature has a soul.
Yep, white trash is really attractive to…..
trash.
Lindsay Lohan’s plastic surgery face is starting to look a lot like Rose McGowan’s plastic surgery face. It’s like these fucking surgeons just work with a puffy-lipped, narrow-nosed mold and apply it to every bitch who forks up the $.
Rose McGowan’s hot at least. And talented.