Lindsay Lohan’s on House Arrest

May 26th, 2011 // 49 Comments

“No, wait, minor, almost trivial consequences for my actions? Ohmygod. MOMMM!”

Because the celebrity version of justice doesn’t take the holiday weekend off, Lindsay Lohan started her house arrest today, according to People:

“She is now confined to the interior premises of her home at all times,” L.A. Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore tells PEOPLE.
Whitmore adds that Lohan surrendered to the facility at 5:02 a.m., where it was determined she was eligible for home confinement. The actress was fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet and released in less than an hour. No booking photo was taken.

Keep in mind Lindsay was originally sentenced to 120 days in jail, but because of overcrowding along with being only charged with misdemeanor she was eligible for house arrest where, ta-da, she’ll still be released after just two weeks because apparently her house is over-crowded? It honestly hurts to think about this which is why I’ll be over here staring pensively into her breasts trying to figure this thing out. *rubs chin, quietly makes honking noises*

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    TyroneBiggums
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see she’s already got her prison stripes on.

  2. Poor girl. Now she’s going to have to bus in ex-cons for her lesbian shower sessions. Is there nothing fair in this world?

  3. While she also tested positive for alcohol in December and in February, i’m sure the judge would agree her sentence ought to be reduced a little on account of pic 11 :D

  4. ludichrisspeed

    Mena Suvari got a boob job?

  5. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what i’m talkin about, yo!

  6. Good lord, I would love to pay her some conjugal visits.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love for her to straddle me and ride me in that position right there.

  8. Kae

    Still holding out hope that eventually legal fees will lead to a sex tape being “leaked”

  9. So she DOES actually let the sun touch her skin. I was just never sure.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    +1
    Commented on this photo:

    I love’m dude.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    +1
    Commented on this photo:

    Would fill that bellybutton.

  12. It had to be said

    Big tits are big.

  13. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Parkay or Margarine?
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “butter my muffin” any more than this shot.

  14. MarkM

    That judge should have put her under MY house arrest!

  15. Deacon Jones

    I have a full erection.

    Im going to walk up to our secretary and talk about the weather.

  16. Shittiest part about it is, there’s nothing to steal there.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    He must be testing the theory that if you yell into a fiery vag-cave and make a wish it comes true.

  18. cc

    Pic 15
    ‘What are you doing?’
    ‘Looking at your twat.’

  19. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at those nasty legs.

  20. RoboZombie

    Pic 5 says it all! That was her defense to the judge, but I guess he doesn’t like girls….or maybe he just doesn’t like skanky crack whores.

  21. Turd Ferguson

    What a worthless bitch.
    She will just keep screwing the system with no consequences until she dies.

    (Which actually works for me, having her in my Dead Pool and all.)

  22. Clarence Beeks

    please email the L.A. Sheriff and protest her house arrest. It takes a minute, and if enough people do it, she may get put in jail where she belongs.

    • Mike

      Who can I email to protest the existence of assholes who want to run up my tax bill to satisfy their weird need to treat everybody as harshly as possible?

      • Clarence Beeks

        You don’t think someone who has carjacked people while coked up, violating multiple probations, has a history of stealing and lying, and basically gave her Judges the finger deserves to be treated as harshly as possible?

        I say let out OTHER non-violent offenders out, and make this stupid bitch sit in a cell. What does she learn at home, having visitors, working out and living at the beach? Where is the punishment in that?

  23. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Ksurfiws
    Commented on this photo:

    I am guessing that once she “smells” Cocaine her jaw pretty much just locks in this position.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Ksurfiws
    Commented on this photo:

    harbinger of the pooch yet to come

  25. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay’s actually not looking too bad these days.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay is seen here demonstrating one of her newly acquired prison defense moves, known as the “death penalty”. Funeral arrangements for the young man have yet to be formally announced.

  27. imabrat

    Perhaps we should all chip in and have a sympathy basket delivered, to show our support. A basket of crayons and coloring books, soda pop and coke, Red Bull and Vodka would be nice. A few movies starring her peers who have succeeded in the industry might just be the pick me up she needs right now.

  28. anonym

    well fuck.

    if i ever get convicted of a crime, I demand house arrest too !!!

    what kind of punishment is 120 days in a McMansion ? Throw a house party everyday.

  29. Venom

    Mmmm, those look super juicy and delicious.

    She is the perfect chick to bang, she is not dirtied up by multiple dicks going in and out of her all the time.

  30. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    632-Gannon Mattiolli
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s such a person has highly-stress life.

  31. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    The Great White Pygmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ten bucks says i can shoot a spit wad right between them!

  32. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    The Great White Pygmy
    Commented on this photo:

    I love love poolside surfing!

  33. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    The Great White Pygmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me this isn’t the first time she has made that face.

  34. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Andrew Cunanan
    Commented on this photo:

    Donatella Versace?

  35. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Babe Winkleman
    Commented on this photo:

    The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

  36. Chuppa

    I would so house arrest her

  37. the captain

    americans in general LOOVE it to see you cry.
    EVEN THE JUDGE IS CONTROLLED BY THAT.

    pssst: she’s aware of it.

  38. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she uses the 2 weeks house arrest to exercise and get that body in shape gossipmagazineonline.com and greatvacationspots.net she has a tummy and not tone at all, girl lose soem weight and exercise

  39. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    shan danger
    Commented on this photo:

    maybe….she does need coke.

  40. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    falout
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks fat

  41. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    MOVE YOUR HEAD, ARSEHOLE!

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