This Is Why You Don’t Hire Lindsay Lohan

June 18th, 2012 // 51 Comments
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Just to catch everybody up, on Friday there were panicked, premature reports that Lindsay Lohan was found unconscious in her hotel room and rushed to the hospital. Turns out none of that happened and she was more than likely trying to call in sick (Lainey Gossip has the rundown here.) and take a three-day which is a great way to thank the people who took a gamble on her and already suffered a financial loss exactly a week ago when she fucked up their insurance by crashing a Porsche into a tractor-trailer when she’s not even supposed to be driving. But if you think it stops there, clearly you know nothing of the Overentitled Freckled Queen of No One Should Hire Me City because here she is bitching on Twitter about how hard it is to work when she should be down on her knees blowing everyone (again) that actually thought it’d be a good idea to pay her money in exchange for acting:

Note to self.. After working 85hours in 4days, and being up all night shooting, be very aware that you might pass out from exhaustion &
7 paramedics MIGHT show up @ your door…. Hopefully theyre cute. Otherwise it would be a real let down.

And in case you were curious just how exhausted Lindsay really is, she partied at Marmont until 1 a.m. the very next night. Us Magazine reports:

Spotted hanging at swanky L.A. hotspot Chateau Marmont Saturday, the 25-year-old appeared to have come straight from filming the Elizabeth Taylor biopic, with her brunette ‘do and cat-eye makeup still in tact.
Chatting with a group of five men, Lohan spent the night surrounded by celebs including Pretty Little Liars‘ Ashley Benson, Busy Philipps and Haylie Duff.
“For someone so exhausted, it was shocking to see her out past 1 a.m.,” an eyewitness told Us Weekly of Lohan, who stayed until Chateau’s restaurant cleared out.

I love how Lindsay shows up to bars still in costume as Elizabeth Taylor, and if you think it’s her going method, let me pop that bubble right now: It’s crazy easy to commit crimes in a disguise. “It was the strangest thing, officer. One minute, my purse was here. The next, Elizabeth Taylor’s ghost ran out the door with it. I’ll even show you the vapor trail of gin and shame it left behind. Goddamn thing won’t evaporate.”

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. dude

    she is so hot

  2. theoriginal LJ

    I’d put money on Lindsey walking around with a water bottle filled with vodka on Saturday night as well.

  3. Just die already. Jesus, the suspense of HOW it’ll happen is killing me.

  4. Dan Quayle

    She was never a Disney child star for one

    • theoriginal LJ

      Lohan’s Disney resume:

      The Parent Trap – she was 12
      TV Movies – Life Size – 14, Get a Clue 16
      Feaky Friday – 17

      An actor/actress is considered a “child” so long as a parent is required on set during production. A child actor becomes an Adult actor at 18.

      • Sh

        Get back to your work email, dude.

      • YoMamma

        I think the operative word here is “star.” She was never a Disney child *star*…

      • Dannuuuu

        You went with release dates. In terms of shooting dates it’s actually:
        The Parent Trap – she was 11
        TV Movies – Life Size – 13, Get a Clue 15
        Freaky Friday – 16
        Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen – 17
        Herbie Fuly Loaded – had just barely turned 18

  5. Grammar Police

    Intact is one word, Fish. And it’s “girlfriends,” and not “girlfriend’s.” Shame on the editing in the Leo DeCaprio post.

    • Sh

      Wasn’t funny in 1998, not funny now.

    • kimmykimkim

      Says the fucktard who can’t even spell “DiCaprio.” Dude, it’s like right there, idiot! And it’s an Italian last name! There is no “De” in Italian. Dumbass.

      • Willba

        This is the internet, not a college term paper. On the internet, we overlook minor typos, misspellings, awkward sentence structure. It just be better for everyone if you just leave the internet and just go read some books.

      • However, we DO want to display a modicum of decorum when putting our thoughts to paper (or to screen, as the case may be). Proper spelling, capitalization, and punctuation make the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack-off a horse.

  6. Cock Dr

    “After working 85hours in 4days…”
    Ya, it’s tuff work sitting in that on set luxury trailer washing down the Adderall with buckets of vodka & gin. Her poor hard working liver probably needs a vacation more than any of us.
    Just don’t fucking get behind the wheel; don’t take any innocent bystanders along when the Reaper finally comes to collect.

  7. EricLr

    Note to Lindsay: The 2 hours you spent laying on the floor while the crew desperately tried to find a discreet doctor and a syringe of adrenaline, the 4 hours afterwards you spent vomiting, and the 3 hours of awful footage you shot that day before OD’ing don’t count toward your “85hours.”

  8. GetOverYourself

    Shoud I her at he top of my “Celebrity Death Watch” again? How about celebrities most likely to do porn? So many decisions!

  9. AAPL made me rich!

    I thought Busy Philips had prior engagements that night.

  10. Die already...

    Totally entitled & delusional. I guess she thinks that she can say/do anything, and no one will call her on it. Generally speaking, saying you’re “exhausted” one day, then clubbing the next night like a club kid is not a good idea if you’re trying to prove to everyone how responsible you are. She’ll never get her shit together, because she just doesn’t get it…

  11. Cher X

    Funny how no one else in the cast and crew who no doubt worked the same hours (and the crew did hard labor) suffered from “exhaustion.” Hmmmmmm.

  12. FanGirl

    >>Hopefully theyre cute

  13. God

    Note to self, after working hard for the first week in years, I got sleepy, so I crashed a car and passed out so hard it too the paramedics to wake me up.

  14. Clarence Beeks

    Nice posture.

  15. Diana

    Eh, I don’t feel any kind of sorry for the production team or the people who hired her. Their own stupidity for being aware of her track record with making movies. Did they really think she wasn’t gonna screw it up in all different kinds of ways? She’s a lazy over privileged drug addict.

  16. anonym

    she forgot the fucking decimal point.

    not 85 hours.

    8.5 hours in 4 days.

    yes, it only takes her an average 2 hours per day to pass out

  17. It’s getting really hard to root for her like I used to. I thought she had so much to offer. This is just sad. Everyone of her co-stars from Mean Girls is doing better than she is. Even Lacey Chabert and I haven’t heard from her in years.

  18. lester

    “This is why you don’y hirw Lindsay Lohan” reason number 99 !! Her total lack of character sickens me. Again for the umptennth time she is given “one last chance” and as usual she is f###ing it up.

  19. ashleelovesnirvana

    god lindsay looks like a 49 year old meth addicted prostitute that took one too many to the face.
    gross.

  20. The Main Reason One Doesn’t Hire Lindsay Lohan:

    Ya just DON’T!

  21. “Overentitled Freckled Queen of No One Should Hire Me City” = why I love you.

  22. Nicole

    Really Elizabeth Taylor??? I can’t see the sense of this casting!! Elizabeth had a drug problem… but come on now. Did you actually need a drug addict to protray her? Lindsay has no class.. Atleast Elizabeth had some class.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Red Dress Tiara Liz And Dick Set
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually looks pretty here.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Red Dress Tiara Liz And Dick Set
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor dude.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Red Dress Tiara Liz And Dick Set
    eww
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks gorgeous with black hair

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