In a new interview with Celebuzz, Snooki reveals that Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Pauly D a few years ago, so no wonder she keeps reminding people she used to bang Heath Ledger when he was high on heroin. It was literally the highest point of her love life because here’s a brief timeline of how rapidly that devolved:
2008: Lindsay bangs Heath Ledger just in case everyone doesn’t know how bad his drug addiction is.
2009: Lindsay bangs a lesbian gargoyle.
2010: Lindsay bangs barely famous reality star who looks like Bart Simpson’s gay Italian cousin.
Fortunately, there’s a light at the end of that tunnel because somebody other than her mom thinks she’s doing just great:
“Well, that’s life,” Snooki quipped. “Nobody’s perfect. Yeah, she’s made mistakes but it doesn’t mean she’s a bad person.”
“I think she’s awesome. She used to be a great actress and hopefully one day she’ll get it back.”
Psst. Lindsay. Now’s the part where you put gun in your mouth. No, not an Asian prime minister’s penis. Gun. GUN.