Lindsay Lohan Has to Follow Rules?

August 25th, 2010 // 38 Comments
Lindsay Lohan

Now that she’s free from the shackles of facing consequences for her actions, Lindsay Lohan was issued a new set of rules to follow this morning, including not leaving the state of California until at least November 1 when, at that point, she can basically do whatever the hell wants, starting this whole process all over again. TMZ reports:

– Reside at home until Nov. 1
– Random drug and alcohol testing twice a week
– Participate in psychotherapy a minimum of 4 days a week
– Attend behavior therapy sessions 2 times a week
– Attend a 12-step program

Of course, this all sounds well and good until you realize the judge decided to frost this slap-on-the-wrist cake by dismissing two counts of being under the influence of cocaine. You know, that drug she’s not addicted to but seems to always be getting arrested with/kidnapping people while high on. Those kids at school made her do it! *slams locker and runs away*

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. herbiefrog

    yeh babe : ) ) )

    • randy

      I’m beginning to think that harve owns this sight and or superficial “writers” are on holidays but regardless I am down to harve’s site now.

  2. andrea

    first

    • Murray

      Haha

    • Randal

      Good job Andrea. Not only is “first” the sole territory of absolute losers, but you missed it, forever defining yourself as a twat. The memory of your fail will live on forever in the minds of your unfortunate progeny, and bind you in failure. May your chains rest lightly upon you, may history strive to forget that you were our countryman.

      Oh, and Lindsay Lohan is a twat as well. But at least she’s not cruising gossip sites writing “first”.

      Randal

      yes, I know it’s a double post. I’m on medication for OCD, and it’s wreaking havoc with my nervous system. Pray for me.

      • Drew

        People that get so bent out of shape about “firsts” are simply jealous that they didn’t get it “first”. Please prove me wrong by going on an asinine little rant on a gossip site about how saying first gives you a yeast infection.

        I’m going to pray that your OCD develops into having to say first before you do anything.

      • lol–and have to post it twice! ;)

    • Bored with life

      Epic Fail!

  3. uh oh, those are the same conditions that got her in the can already. hope she got the message this time.

  4. DEATH BY STONING IN HOLLYWOOD

    CANT WAIT FOR NEXT LIFEFAIL UT OH HOW WILL SHE FILM LOVELACE THING COKEHEAD NARCISSIST. DELUSIONAL CRIMINAL MOM

  5. That settles it, I’m going on a crime spree in L.A. Oh wait, I’m not famous.

  6. Randal

    Good job Andrea. Not only is “first” the sole territory of absolute losers, but you missed it, forever defining yourself as a twat. The memory of your fail will live on forever in the minds of your unfortunate progeny, and bind you in failure. May your chains rest lightly upon you, may history strive to forget that you were our countryman.

    Oh, and Lindsay Lohan is a twat as well. But at least she’s not cruising gossip sites writing “first”.

  7. pimp

    her punishment should be me eating her ass for a week…

  8. Zack

    Who wants to bet that she’ll leave the state within two weeks and be caught wasted in public, but it will be for “work” or some bullshit like that so she’ll get off again.

  9. lady crackhead

    she got out of rehab early only to attend 6 therapy sessions a week plus drug counselling ? wtf

  10. EatCake

    Why are you guys always attacking poor Lindsay? She’s a poor tortured woman who’s been in the spotlight of the deathtrap that is Hollywood since she was a little girl. She comes from a horribly broken hom…..AHHHHH COKEWHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I almost got through it with a straight face.

  11. Matthew Hollwoay

    She’ll want to stay around for the November marijuana ballot, surely?

  12. joho777

    Lindsay has been certified by the incompetent baboons at UCLA Medical Center of no longer being alcoholic or of being a drug abuser.

    So what is the problem?

    Cold tea and long walks. Lindsay will love her new life.

    If only she could stop smoking, too. Then her skin might have a chance to start to recover.

  13. Well this sounds like a lot of fun. I can’t wait to see her latest tweets.

  14. zing

    Can she just have her Hollywood OD death already and be done with it and do the rest of us a favor? Christ on his throne that girl deserves it.

  15. What a moron

    You mean blowhan has to follow rules, just like everyone else? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. LJ

    The judge also said that if she misses or fails any drug test she goes to jail for 30 days.

  17. captain america

    psssssst: FREDDY KRUEGER TOO, folks!!

  18. Marcus

    Her mom looks good for her age, what is she 85-ish? Lindsay might have a chance of looking descent when she gets older if she lays off the drugs and alcohol poisoning.

  19. Yupps

    hahahaa she’s going to relapse in about 8 days…. because everytime they don’t run something on lohan in 3 or more days, she gets mad she doesn’t have any publicity, then she does something stupid, and its all back to her again. honestly, if she put forth that much effort into something constructive, and not engaging in crackwhore type business, she would have saved her career a while ago. after Mean Girls, she fell… HARD.

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  21. Herman Bumfudle

    lindsay, you follow the rules and bend over and i’ll fuck em.

  22. Elizabeth

    and the consequences for failing those rules is jail hopefully

  23. Bored with life

    Just fucking OD already!

  24. Amanda

    Celeberties always get special treatment no matter what the case is. wake justice systerm your spreading the wrong message to our young people you have to be a celeberty to not go to jail? ect….the judge broke the law why not put her in jail you need to stick to the law and stop feeling petty for the rich they will survive trust me they got $$$$.

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