Lindsay Lohan Went Full Frontal For Playboy Shoot

October 26th, 2011 // 101 Comments

So Lindsay Lohan is really, really, really fucking broke, is how I read this. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned, the actress will BARE ALL in her upcoming spread … i.e. the holy trifecta … or as one source close to Playboy put it, “boobs, ass, and vag.”
… Reports circulated Lindsay would pull one of those lame semi-nude fiascos — all sideboob, no fun — but sources close to Hef & co. tell us, that is NOT the case. Lindsay did insist the photos be “tastefully done,” but we’re told she’s still going the full monty.

Two thoughts:

1. Haha! Ali saw her vagina.

2. I’m guessing sometime between now and Lindsay’s European “business trip,” Dina realized she forgot to raise the rates on handjobs and now she can’t afford her Lexus lease. “Time to play our little ace in the hole,” she probably said, or just spoke in a series of smashing glasses of gin against the wall. I’ve yet to master her language.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. DKNY

    Lindsay showing sideboob in Playboy would be a waste, seeing as how she’s shown more every day of the week for the past 5 years.

    • Karl

      well shes not broke anymore, in fact shes probably richer than everyone here right now…1 mil in the bank just for showing something that every female in the world has..must be nice.

    • Artofwar

      …It’s Playboy folks not Penthouse —no pussy lips—no fallopian tube or womb exposure. Merely some pubes and a nipple or two.

      So hold off ordering that extra gallon of lube for the month. Not to mention Playboy photoshops the shit out of trollops.

      Playboy should forego the hassle of photographing their delinquent, and quite often desperate, and broke, chickies all together and just paint the bitches.

      If I’m going to pay a hard earned 10 bucks for a girly mag– I better be able to see so far up-in-her I can actually count her eggs.

      Playboy sucks and not in a good way, mainly because there is no sucking in Playboy…Artofwar

    • puddleduck

      Exactly…we have already seen her cooch, tits, etc. It’s like paying Jessica Simpson for a spread on her pregnancy. WE GOT IT ALREADY!!

  2. JuicyLucy

    I think she has completed her transformation into Dana Plato. Won’t be long now.

  3. Bane

    Honestly, I really thought she had already been in Playboy or some other magazine.

    .

  4. good roughing speaks for itself

    I heard the 3D cams are especially tasteful. Pass the word to Playboy, Please.

  5. Playboy just offered their photoshop artist a $20,000 bonus if he could successfully eliminate all the herpes blisters and gonorrhea drippings.

  6. Coyote

    Why would anybody want to see a bunch of Photoshopped pictures of scabs, sores, and bruises.

  7. Tammy

    I’d love to know how many flies were buzzing around her crotch during that shot. Just nasty!

  8. Venom

    We laugh at her but she just made a million dollars for doing what a ton of skanky girls do on the Internet everyday for free. I am not sure what that says about our society, but I am sure it is not a good thing.

  9. She’s going to blow through that million in a couple of weeks, so I’ll just wait until she starts stripping.

  10. I’m staying firmly on the skeptical side of things…I’ll believe this when I see it.

    Not that she took off all her clothes and gave a coy brown-eye wink at the cameras in exchange for a wad of dollar bills…that’s neither new, or unexpected for her. But I’m not buying that Playboy gave her some huge amount of money for it. That would be like Donald Trump paying McDonalds a million bucks to rummage through their dumpster for half eaten burgers.

    • This^. I know Hef is getting way up in years and lost brain cells but surely there’s still enough left to know that putting this skank in your mag is gonna be the death knell of the publication. Then again, the sheep of this country are stupid. Therefore this will probably be a big seller and then we really won’t be able to get rid of this waste of oxygen.

  11. Frank Burns

    Maybe she can bring her brother Michael to her first porn movie shooting.

  12. Deacon Jones

    This will be interesting

  13. celebutard

    Lindsay Lohan misunderstood the judge when told that her community service would now be helping out with a bunch of stiffs.

  14. Richard McBeef

    These pre-mortem photos will serve as a great complement to the post-mortem ones. I’m sure the medical examiner’s office will have the cause of death sorted out in no time.

  15. grobpilot

    Wonder if she insisted on showing the pink? Of course, the photos would have only shown scarring from third-degree friction burns.

  16. Clarence Beeks

    I love this.

    http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2011/10/lindsay-lohan-2005-i-will-never-go-nude.html?spref=fb

    HA! and no one cares to see her nude now. I’d rather see DINA at this point.

    • Jack Ketch

      Can you believe that scumbag mother will get 20% of this “gig” ? All the bitch does is hold her up when she’s drunk, for Christ’s sake … her job as a “momager” must be just sooo mentally stimulating.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Ew. You’re right. She’s taking 200 grand to sell her daughter’s mudflaps to the world. That’s just despicable.
        By the by, 20% is a total ripoff and Lindsay should have hired a REAL manager decades ago.

  17. Carles

    Best rack in the biz.

  18. Firecrotch Lover

    Hoping she’s not fully waxed. Need to see the fire crotch.

  19. Star Droppings

    Poor Hef is out a million bucks when her bottom line was a six pack, a month’s rent, and a carton of clove cigarettes.

  20. Ianditis

    So basically they need a whole centerfold to fit her vag on the page. That thing has to look like an old catchers mitt!

    • Rai

      What makes you think they’ll put her in the centerfold. They only put the hot birds there.

      • Tdizzle

        you haven’t seen playboy lately, have you? most of the playmates now are pretty subpar, with bad hair, bad implants, and hilariously stupid tattoos

      • Rai

        Yes, I haven’t seen it in over 20 years, but my vintage collection from the ’60s has some really hot chicks in it. I guess they’ve really gone down hill now, and I’ll have to check out a recent issue. Thanks for the update.

      • Hey, Tdizzle. I wonder when was the last time YOU looked at an issue of Playboy. There haven’t been any sub-par chicklets in the centerfold in several years. And I haven’t seen a really poor Tupperware Tits installation in quite some time either.

  21. Juano

    Would guess Playboy isn’t going to say how much they paid her, so perhaps the $1 million figure is coming from her agent to make it seem as though she is much more marketable than she reallly is.

    But perhaps she got some posing tips while she was at the morgue.

  22. Rai

    Big deal, I’d only buy the magazine if she was spread eagle.

  23. Now I AM going to have to buy that issue, just to see that freckled, shaved whisker biscuit.

  24. cc

    The author has it wrong…the ultimate ‘ace in the hole’ (is that a euphemism for something else) is a sex tape. This is more like a ‘jack in the hole’.

  25. Crabby Old Guy

    I got this. Hef is doing it as a “Children’s Book” – since all he knows about her is that she did a bunch of Disney flicks. So, he sets up a “Connect-the-Dots” thing for the boobie pix and when she spreads her legs, a conveniently placed “Mr. Yuck” sticker covers up that 3 Mile Island of a muff she’s sportin’.

    I’m an “Idea’s man, Chuck”

  26. Stefanie

    Its so obvious she’s poor. Look ay the way she’s dressed. Then again, no one would go to the photo shoot in flashy clothing. Lindsay Lohan. She was never hot to begin with. I’m still waiting for her to be downgraded to the D list where she belongs.

    Oh, and If I had the money, I would save people from gouging their eyes out with ice picks from looking at Lindsay Lohan’s ugliness and have a good old fashioned campfire right in the middle of good old NYV. I doubt anyone is going to buy Playboy when it comes out on newsstands and Lindsay Blohan’s disgusting self is on the cover.

    • Perhaps YOU never thought Lindsay was hot, but there are probably 100 million men on the North American continent who would beg to differ. Go back and look at pictures and videos from 5 years ago. She was a doll.

      Wow, you’re really jealous, huh?!

  27. Anonymous

    After her recent stint as a full blown hooker for Eurotrash, that beat up vag isn’t worth the million PB paid for it. The accountants there should be fired for overspending.

  28. Karl

    SHES RICHER THAN MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORKING AMERICA NOW…helloo….

  29. zomgbie

    if i were the photographer
    i’d check to make sure my cameras arent missing.
    -just a thought.

  30. I just don’t find this funny anymore. Crossed the Rubicon.

  31. TheListener

    I read another article that says Playboy initially offered $600,000. She countered the offer with $1 million. I’m guessing they agreed to a figure somewhere in the middle.

  32. Bob Penthouse

    Playboy is as soft as Hef’s cock. That’s what Crystal said.

  33. beefarino

    I’m curious to see if she really is freckled everywhere.

  34. Blasto

    I hear the head of Indiustrial Light & Magic was just crying, shaking & drinking a bottle of Jim Beam muttering “it cant be done…it cant be done,,,”

  35. EricLr

    No thanks. Playboy pictures are about 10% actual human and 90% photoshop. In this case, it will probably be a lot closer to 100%.

  36. Fap fap fap fap fap.

    I grudgingly admire the retouching wizards in Hefner’s employ, but just to be safe, that’s the sound of me plastering my eyelids shut until I get the all-clear from you guys.

  37. Gary B

    It is official Playboy no longer gives a shit.

  38. Kym and Kcloe Kardasian

    Lindsay Lohan and her family are nothing but low class, talentless trailer trash fame whores with no redeeming value whatsoever.

  39. Lindsay Lohan Full Frontal Playboy
    Janice
    Commented on this photo:

    My husband gets Playboy. I told him if he reads this issue, he’s getting a penicillin shot when he’s done.

  40. Lindsay Lohan Full Frontal Playboy
    M3Essential
    Commented on this photo:

    Get those hands in your pockets people!

  41. i like looking at lindsay's vagina

    i want to see lindsay lohan reach around her thighs and into her vagina with 3 fingers from each hand and spread her wet gaping cunt hole open wide. thats what one of my girlfriends used to do for me and i took pics of it. i also want to see lindsay slide her entire fist in her cunt all the way to her wrist and fist fuck herself until the has a female ejaculation. my girlfriend used to do that for me as well. now that’s fuckin tasteful. lindsay if your reading this, you can pose for photos like this in hustler or swank, so give them a call.

  42. CranAppleSnapple

    “Haha! Ali saw her vagina.”

    And she said “Ah, so that’s a vagina.”

  43. Lindsay Lohan Full Frontal Playboy
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate that this turd occupies a spot in my brain. I hate that she got paid 1 million dollars to have her sub-par, freckle infested body photographed. I hate that, despite the microcosm of disgust I have for her, I will undoubtedly try and look at these pictures.

  44. forrest gump

    anybody who acts like life is so easy must be “Deleted”.
    ………..SO BOYCOTT THIS PLAYBOY-ISSUE, folks!!

    please.

  45. Tastefully done, eh? So, Goatse-style?

    • Tinklepants Astronaut

      What happens if she gets to the shoot, demands again that it be “tastefully done” and they say “no”?

      • Hey man, I just wanted to make a joke about Lindsay spreading her asshole open with two hands – I don’t understand the first thing about contract law.

  46. kimmykimkim

    God, I hope they photoshop some aeriolas on her.

  47. herbiefrog

    w hhhh at ? [ok jus wolke up…

    lindsay and ali ? ?

    save that one for later… shhh//…

  48. Lindsay Lohan Full Frontal Playboy
    ballsonurhead
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she could be the hottest actress alive. Beleive it or not there are a lot of casual drug users like myself who like a girl that be a whore and blow some chow up her nose when she wants to. To me a girl like this is 100 times hotter than JLO or Kirstin Dunst. Lohan is cocaine hot…. which translates to fun in bed.

  49. kimmykimkim

    Areolas. Brain fart.

  50. Please don’t post that busted shit when it comes out.

    ICK NAST

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