Lindsay Lohan Fires Lawyer Who Successfully Keeps Her Out of Jail Because She Charges Money

January 15th, 2013 // 37 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan has literally only done one thing right in her life and that’s retain Shawn Holley as her lawyer because she’s repeatedly kept her out of jail so many times that if this were the 1800s we’d burn her alive for being a witch. Unfortunately, Shawn charges money for her legal services, so she had to be let go because Lindsay should be handed things for free, you guys. She’s famous. Of course, there are proper channels to handle these matters, but this is Lindsay Lohan, so naturally she did it in the stupidest way possible. TMZ reports:

Sources say … Shawn Holley — the lawyer who has kept Lindsay out of jail — was on her way to court Monday to meet with the prosecutor and the judge to hash out the deal. What’s more, Lindsay also faces jail time for a probation violation in the jewelry heist case because she allegedly lied to cops after the crash. We’re told the judge could have agreed to end both cases if Lindsay checked into rehab.
But Shawn never made it to court, because Lindsay signed her walking papers and hired a New York lawyer who was suspended in the ’90s from practicing law for 5 years.

Yup, that’s right. Lindsay Lohan fired her lawyer right in the middle of a plea bargain negotiation because she found a new lawyer who doesn’t charge anything because he’ll represent anybody, literally anybody, to get his face in the press and work again. Except once word got out and Lindsay looked like a complete idiot, she fell on her sword and admitted to making a mistake. — BAHAHAHA! I’m kidding. She lied. She lied her fucking face off:

Lindsay Lohan is telling friends … she never authorized her New York lawyer to fire Shawn Holley and never instructed him to send her a letter of termination … but there’s one BIG problem with her story.
Sources connected with attorney Mark Heller tell TMZ … Lindsay SIGNED the letter he sent to Holley earlier today, giving her the boot.

Lindsay says she knows Shawn is an ace in court and she would never drop her the day before she’s scheduled to go to court. As you know, the judge set a hearing tomorrow to decide if Lindsay violated her probation in the jewelry heist case by allegedly lying to cops in the car accident case. Again … Lindsay signed that letter.
Lindsay says she’s instructed Heller to send Shawn another letter cancelling the first.

Keep in mind, Lindsay has her hearing today for lying to police about plowing her Porsche into the back of a tractor-trailer, and Shawn is obligated to show up as the counsel on record, so this should get interesting considering Lindsay still owes her $300,000 (Roughly 3 BJs in freckle dollars.) and is an absolute train-wreck of a client. And by interesting I mean the governor will probably walk into the courtroom and ask Lindsay if she’d like a do-over and a juice box. “Do I have to pay for the juice box?” she’ll ask. “No, no, child. You’re too pretty for that,” he’ll respond. California!

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. I saw a preview to that movie she’s in with Charlie Sheen the other day. She looks like a fucking sea hag.

  2. What a slut. So how will this loser pay her new attorney?

  3. karlito

    she’s playing a game and trying to delay the inevitable. can this guy from NY legally practice in California and if not, does the case get delayed until he passes the California Bar? this woman is a manipulator.

    • That would require awareness of the law, and sufficient non-vodka suffused brain cells to conceive a coherent, properly-aimed plan, however unwise.

      I think the only real decision she makes is whether or not to get out of bed. Her life could only be run by a committee of people pretending to care.

    • Mat

      He would apply for admission pro hac vice and retain local counsel. He would only be allowed to practice law in the case she’s in.

  4. USDA Prime McBeef

    After repeated attempts to float blowjobs her direction, Lindsay decided she needs a male lawyer.

  5. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is iz ow I ay y yawyer.”

  6. Oh Lindsay. What can’t you fuck up? Why don’t you forget how to breathe?

  7. Deacon Jones

    I saw these pictures and i was like “wow, she looks five years younger here” and then saw they were taken 9 months ago, WHEW!

  8. cc

    I can’t wait for the Judge Judy case where Heller tries to get his money out Lohan for his legal services. It’ll be a classic.

  9. I don’t see the controversy here…Lindsay needed a lawyer she can pay with “mouth money”, and the chick clearly wasn’t into it.

  10. Schmidtler

    So this Shawn Holley managed to get through high school, 4 years of college, 3 years of law school, pass the bar exam, and become adept enough in practicing law that she’s managed to keep Lohan out of jail despite repeated screw ups – but somehow she’s so incredibly stupid she let Blohan run up a $300,000 bill without paying? How can someone so smart be so stupid at the same time?

  11. Cock Dr

    She is one freckled floppy titted bag of failure.
    Jail or death….one will catch up with her soon.

  12. can you imagine any scenario where this trainwreck finally goes to jail? its California for fuck’s sake. she could slit a newborn baby’s throat in front of a judge and still get off. she’ll skate. bank on it.

    Dina and her will offer to blow the entire court staff in a back room. I’m convinced this is how it keeps happening.

  13. Because if you fire your lawyer the bill magically disappears! Whoosh!

  14. What an idiot

    Blowhan has officially won “Dumbfuck of the Year”…

  15. cc

    When I first looked at this picture, I thought there was a raven on her shoulder waiting for the inevitable.

  16. Archie Leach

    Michael and Dina Lohan fuckup parents or not, if fucking worthless kunt lindsay was any other person she’d have been found dead long ago in the gutter with a needle sticking out of her arm. But no all the scumfucks in the industry have kept this piece-of-shit going for their own economic good and thus smeared crackhan onto the rest of us. MARK MY WORDS: lindsay kunt crackhan WILL be found dead in a pool vomit in the near future……

  17. grobpilot

    This waste of humanity must somehow give the absolute best, mind-blowing head in the universe (even female judges agree) in order to have avoided jail for as long as she has.

  18. Annie

    Jail her for a long time and don’t protect her from the other inmates. That shit will scare her straight. She doesn’t know the real world. Let her face what hell is really like and let’s see if she learns to take opportunities and stop being a goddamned fuck up.

  19. It should be considered an amicable parting if Lindsay doesn’t run over her with her car and show up to her house at 3 a.m. screaming at her for trying to steal an imaginary boyfriend.

  20. sobrietyisacrutch

    “Oh my GOD!!! Jared Leto? Is that you?!!!”

  21. If this woman gets any dumber her entire life support system will simply shut down out of boredom and irritation as a result of putting so much effort into a lost cause.

    I mean, if you’re not going to drive your car, what the fuck is the point of putting gas in it?

  22. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes Lindsay, we know that’s how you’re paying the new lawyer

  23. Juano

    She just needs to go away. It isn’t even laughable anymore.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    If Evian is naive spelled backwards, then her bottle should read Akdov.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you are a boozehag when someone has to help you lift your glass to your lips.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to her breasts? Seriously I want to know, how does this happen?

  27. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Those pants would like 857,000 times better on Candice Swanepoel

  28. Lindsay Lohan Bra See Through Shirt Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Lindsay… It;s your conscious.Things are going well for you. You know what you have to do don’t you?”
    “Fuck up?”
    “That’s my girl…”

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