Lindsay Lohan Fires Lawyer Who Successfully Keeps Her Out of Jail Because She Charges Money

Lindsay Lohan has literally only done one thing right in her life and that’s retain Shawn Holley as her lawyer because she’s repeatedly kept her out of jail so many times that if this were the 1800s we’d burn her alive for being a witch. Unfortunately, Shawn charges money for her legal services, so she had to be let go because Lindsay should be handed things for free, you guys. She’s famous. Of course, there are proper channels to handle these matters, but this is Lindsay Lohan, so naturally she did it in the stupidest way possible. TMZ reports:

Sources say … Shawn Holley — the lawyer who has kept Lindsay out of jail — was on her way to court Monday to meet with the prosecutor and the judge to hash out the deal. What’s more, Lindsay also faces jail time for a probation violation in the jewelry heist case because she allegedly lied to cops after the crash. We’re told the judge could have agreed to end both cases if Lindsay checked into rehab.
But Shawn never made it to court, because Lindsay signed her walking papers and hired a New York lawyer who was suspended in the ’90s from practicing law for 5 years.

Yup, that’s right. Lindsay Lohan fired her lawyer right in the middle of a plea bargain negotiation because she found a new lawyer who doesn’t charge anything because he’ll represent anybody, literally anybody, to get his face in the press and work again. Except once word got out and Lindsay looked like a complete idiot, she fell on her sword and admitted to making a mistake. — BAHAHAHA! I’m kidding. She lied. She lied her fucking face off:

Lindsay Lohan is telling friends … she never authorized her New York lawyer to fire Shawn Holley and never instructed him to send her a letter of termination … but there’s one BIG problem with her story.
Sources connected with attorney Mark Heller tell TMZ … Lindsay SIGNED the letter he sent to Holley earlier today, giving her the boot.

Lindsay says she knows Shawn is an ace in court and she would never drop her the day before she’s scheduled to go to court. As you know, the judge set a hearing tomorrow to decide if Lindsay violated her probation in the jewelry heist case by allegedly lying to cops in the car accident case. Again … Lindsay signed that letter.
Lindsay says she’s instructed Heller to send Shawn another letter cancelling the first.

Keep in mind, Lindsay has her hearing today for lying to police about plowing her Porsche into the back of a tractor-trailer, and Shawn is obligated to show up as the counsel on record, so this should get interesting considering Lindsay still owes her $300,000 (Roughly 3 BJs in freckle dollars.) and is an absolute train-wreck of a client. And by interesting I mean the governor will probably walk into the courtroom and ask Lindsay if she’d like a do-over and a juice box. “Do I have to pay for the juice box?” she’ll ask. “No, no, child. You’re too pretty for that,” he’ll respond. California!

Photos: Pacific Coast News