Seen here in the latest campaign for Fornarina, Lindsay Lohan has already managed to fail her first drug test to the surprise of absolutely no one, save for the fact we all thought it’d happen within five minutes of leaving rehab. TMZ reports:
We’re told the court-mandated drug test in question occurred last week. According to the terms of Lindsay’s probation, she will get 30 days in jail for a positive drug test.
One source connected with Lindsay tells TMZ … “People with addiction problems don’t get better magically, and she’s really been making an effort to make herself better.”
Does anyone honestly believe Lindsay Lohan is afraid to go back to jail after the last time? She’s probably already packing an overnight bag full of jelly beans and Twilight movies as we speak. “Doing all that blow was so worth it. I wonder if they’ll let me stay two nights, and then we can all make S’Mores. Yippee!”
UPDATE: And it was cocaine. You know, the drug she’s not addicted to. Kudos, UCLA.
Photos: Splash News
Now taking bets on what her excuse will be.
Poppy seeds on her bagel.
That’s a legit excuse for a positive opiates test. It won’t fly with cocaine.
She found a stash of 75 year-old Coca-Cola and drank it all. So not only did she test positive for cocaine, but diabetes as well.
Could happen.
poor thing. jail wont help.
Makes sense now why she flew out east. Safer woods..
it wasnt her bladder….
win
parents = garbage
chance at sobriety = less than zero
dead within a year = probably.
what a waste.
Go directly to jail, do not collect $200.
wating for Party Mom Dina’s excuse will be
We see pictures of this gal all over town looking like last night’s road kill.
Then we get these Photoshopped skank-o-licious glamor shots.
I gotta admit she looks like a smoking hot supermodel here.
If the drug test thing is true her already minimal chances of landing a legitimate movie role just vanished for the foreseeable future.
Back to the CA prison compound for another week or 3. If at first you don’t succeed try and try again.
Rumour has it that baby is a great masker for blow…apprently by failing to actually wolf down the young’un before the pop’s got to her, she doomed herself a free trip back to County.
Wow, flash idea for a new reality series… ‘The Glam Ward”… The heart rendering tale of the lives of those forced to supervise and clean out the floor drain better known as the High Profile wing of LA County Jail.
Haha I love that the first picture you show kinda looks like an anti meth ad.
She was framed! Framed I say! Bet Paris slipped her that coke somehow!
How the hell does tmz always know this shit before the COURT they should use their powers for the greater good….
people with addiction problems don’t get better magically??
i was seriously banking on this.
Heeeyyyy…she’s not addicted. She’ll tell you that, just ask her. UCLA will back her up.
Oh yeah, and her mom, too.
So I’m thinkin’ they should have her host SNL live from prison.
It would definitely be a first.
What the fuck is Fornarina? It sounds like porn for foreigners
porn for foreigners featuring dog chow.
You are awesome.
i’d like to second that.
Give the cunt the electric chair.
What? We can’t punish a drug offense with the death penalty?
Who do I petition? This mongrel needs to be put down.
Also… c’mon people, I’m like the 12th person to post here, but the first to call her a cunt?
I thought we had an understanding. No posting about Lohan unless you refer to her as a cunt, a whore, a cum-dumpster or a life support system for a vagina. Or an STD-infected booze-swilling, chain-smoking piece of shit.
OK, I’ve given you a few examples. Run with it, let’s see what we come up with.
She is a WHORE
Ahhh…. Thanks. That felt nice…
“dead within a year = probably.”
If probably = hopefully, good call.
Let’s see….
Used a PR machine to get a judge tossed
Had to have blown half or all the UCLA psych team to get them convinced
Didn’t serve much of her time
TIME FOR THE PENAL SYSTEM TO GET RECTAL ON HER
I honestly didn’t think she was quite that stupid.
Then you should be the eighth person in mensa history to be thrown out lol
She must be doing it all the time. Cocaine only takes a few days to get out of your system. What a dumb bitch.
I look forward to hearing UCLA’s response. After these claims, and an unrealated story, this university is looking like a total joke.
RIP coke whore
She looks better than any coked out person I have ever met. This is really getting sad, I mean she has been to rehab 5 or 6 times.
Maybe that’s because she can afford to have both coke and food.
hahahahahaha tooo true
Awesome! The jail guards should just toss the f*cking key away after locking her up.
Will this finally be the time? Will a friend, a family member, a court official, someone finally step in and do something? Or will everyone continue to just sit back with their popcorn and watch the trainwreck until it ends?
Nice set of photos. They made her look really pretty, as long as you don’t look too closely at the doped up eyes.
She looks diseased….
Sigh can i really rehab two people at once and still afford food.. Lindsay you know how to find me if u need a place to hide and regroup. Or hide for ages and become legend. Funny the one here now also chased someone down drunk driving. And broke some dudes arm at the pub. He’s doing really well now. Serious as a bench warrant..
Apparently, Rule No. 1 in skank modeling is always put your arms up and eye fuck the camera.
The hilarious part is that cocaine has a testing window that is very very short. So either she got unlucky or she was doing it every night :P Surprise?
i dont know about all this y’all are talking, but damn I want to cum inside this girl
She should cop a line from her friend Paris, “THAT WASN”T MY PEE”
I just notice I said “cop a line from Paris” Please pardon the pun!!!!
…………………a success story related to her person must be made up.
Randal…??? Is that you?
trainwreck. can’t wait to see her go back to jail. HA! stupid long island whorebag.
I dont know why Fornarina is using her as a model. I wouldnt want my clothing line associated with her…
It’s sad they can’t even photoshop her pretty anymore. She so fucking rough looking like her mom and dad only somehow worse.
She looks so stunning here. Still rooting for you. You have had just way too much. I couldnt imagine. If I were you by this time, I’d be more fucked up than you, believe me. Get better. You are strong. Life’s full of chances, specially for you :)
Lindsay, learn to play the game. Everyone who needs smthg to take the edge off still has to be clean at times. Else ur body will pack in from wear. Probation is a good time to rest up awhile. After ur off probation you can do what you want. I been thru all that shit and never did a day in jail. Fri nite in ur honor i got drunk, smoked weed, even did a cpl hits of coke for the first time in years. Then at closing i got a ride to ihop and a ride home and picked up the bike saturday morning. Guess what. Not fucking arrested.
Fire your advisors. They are clue-dot-less.
The good news is that, unless they are total idiots at UCLA, it shows she can be a convincing actor.
And porno can use some of those since Ashlyn Gere and Nina Hartley retired.
Fuck the law baby! Shit on my face baby, yeah!!!!!
Click. Flick. Dick. Fiorina
hahahahaha sooo true
she looks great without freckles. good job photoshop!
Please. OD. Please.
I’d jam a speculum up her ass, fill it full of blow, and then fuck her ass, then pull out and make her lick all the cum, shit, and blow mix off my dick.