Lindsay Lohan Facing Felony Charges

February 5th, 2011 // 59 Comments

Apparently Los Angeles County wants to demonstrate just how awesome they are at slapping wrists again, because Lindsay Lohan is going to be charged with felony grand theft as early as Monday, according to TMZ. The charges stem from her recent necklace theft which could put her in state prison for up to three years, provided we lived in a sane and rational world, so they’ll probably just buy her a puppy. “Now his name is Wiggles, and you have to feed him everyday and give him lots of tummy rubs. Now scoot, you little scamp, and stop committing so many crimes, oh, you’re so cute.” *tussles Lindsay’s hair*

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, WENN

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  1. herbiefrog

    dangerous times…

  2. Rough is part of a plan, you can not comprehend

    Perhaps it’s time to hire a ‘good decision making coach’ to navigate through your daily living, Lilo. Did I just create a new job position? Department of labor better take note.

  3. Jenille

    I like to suck cock and roll around in pig shit.

  4. Cock Dr

    Yes, probably no punishment, but there is the shaming factor.
    Does this woman even feel any shame for her stupid, immoral actions? Probably not.
    At least at this point everyone should know of her sticky fingers, and businesses can take the appropriate actions when they see her & one of her “assistants” come walking through their front door.
    Let ‘em swipe the piece(s), then tackle & put the Taser to them both.

  5. Ian

    Not to be a wet blanket; but until the prosecutor’s office comes out and makes a formal announcement, don’t believe it. This chick has slithered her way out of way too much before this.

  6. Yeah..she’ll be charged then let go..as usual..

  7. It’s WAY past time for this girl to be locked up, how much are they gonna allow her to get away with? She laughs in the face of the law and if she were any old Joe Nobody she’d be UNDER the jail house by now.

    • Wipin' wit my hand

      Whose law? She belongs to a paralell reality of sorts, where the our laws do not apply. It is not a fair world. Look around you. Some idiot makes $2.6 billion for Facebook, while scientists and engineers…never mind.

      Go Lindsay!!!!

  8. jojo

    There are literally 1000′s of SamRons in the joint. Lilo’s snatch will be the buffet.

  9. its me fuckers

    she will once again make the justice system look like a bunch of fucktards. She will never see the inside of a jail. May she and SCH burn in hell for the laughing stock they have made of the ‘justice’ system

  10. Nate

    Perez nor E has reported this so….. will see if it is true. Either way is doesn’t mean the charges will stick or that she will be found guilty.

  11. Jay

    Incarcerate the princess!!! What a freakin freak joke is she! Jail will make her a better person and may actually straighten out her head. That is assuming jail survives her.

    • Jon and Kate plus Hate

      I read this as “Incinerate the princess” which would actually be funner and more entertaining. Everybody there would get high on the ashes and babies in strollers would be safe again, win win !

  12. celebrities don't do time...

    Face it people…even if she is found guilty, she won’t do any time. Rebecca Gayheart and Matthew Broderick both killed people, hell Matthew KILLED TWO PEOPLE. How much time did they do? Zero, zip, zillch, nadda; they paid a $500 to $1000 fine and were cut loose. Same thing is going to happen here. Wish it weren’t so, but that’s what usually happens. :(

    • devilsrain

      I forgot about the broderick one. Youre right though, LL will run someone down and even then wont do time. Its a fucked up world we are in.

    • Mortimer Duke

      Matthew Broderick has been punished enough. He has to walk around with horse face Sarah Jessica Parker. Im sure she makes him jump her every so often as well…

  13. Lindsay Lohan
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s Lilo “shopping”.
    Isn’t that really a euphemism that no one now believes? She’s out reconnoitering the stores….searching for weak security & staffing.
    Hair looks fab BTW.

  14. Grim

    For FUCK’s sake, when is this swollen pussing absess of a ginger going to fucking die.

  15. Bucky Barnes

    Nice coat Linds. I’d ask if you had to pay extra for the shoplifter sleeves but I’m pretty confident that you stole it.

  16. Huh?

    IT’S. ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.

    I hope the DA throws the book at this lying, thieving, delusional cokewhore. She’s been given chance after chance after chance, and she keeps saying “fuck you” to everyone. So, it’s time for the court to fall on her with all it’s weight. Not only will she face a jail sentence for her theft, but it will violate the terms of her probation & she’ll serve time for that as well. It’s not like she has a career to be ruined by this; no one will hire her as she’s virtually uninsurable. So long, BLOWhan; enjoy the grey bar hotel!

    • teresa

      When I hear “It’s about time”, just as I’ve heard “It’s about time” a 1000 times before, I know that this twatcanker is going nowhere but to the nearest camera to laugh her ass of in our faces. Don’t even care anymore, but still it would be nice if the mob or some random person would just clip her off.

  17. Lindsay Lohan
    St Louis Jeff
    Commented on this photo:

    *Yawn* If we all stop talking about her, will she go away? Please?

  18. DKNY

    She would probably sell poor Wiggles the puppy for some coke.

  19. score card

    May 2008 … Lindsay Lohan accused of stealing fur coat from Masha Markova, a twenty-two year old Columbia University coed while at a NYC private party.

    May 2008 … Lauren Hastings claims that Lindsay Lohan stole clothes from her closet during a party.

    June 2009 … Lindsay Lohan accused of stealing jewelry and clothing that was loaned to her while at a shoot for Elle magazine in London. Rumored to have urinated on the dress before surrendering it when she was told she’d have to return the frock.

    August 2009 … Lindsay Lohan had jewels loaned to her by Beverly Hills jewelr XIV Karats for over two months. When asked to return the jewery she said she didn’t have them. Claims they were stolen from her safe.

    October 2009 … Lindsay Lohan allegedly stole jewelry yet again. Reportedly that Lindsay made off with jewelry and accessories from Arielle de Pinto’s showroom in Paris while she was there for Fashion Week.

    April 2010 … Lindsay Lohan named as suspect in stolen Rolex watch case. Had appartment tossed by LA County Sheriff’s Dept.

    June 2010 …Beverly Hills boutique sueing for $16K+ for unpaid clothing.

    February 2011 … Venice Beach has video implicating Lindsay Lohan to stolen jewelry.

    • teresa

      Then now is the time for the others to charge her if possible. I knew she staged that robbery with the help of others.
      As a commentor on Dlisted said, we could only wish and hope this bitch gets shanked in prison. Ooo she could def bring the nastiest wrath, and the Dawn Holland debacle will certainly have some sharpening their shanks as a nice housewarming present for her, teehee!

  20. babooda

    Lindsay stealing a necklace……Fact!
    Lindsay claiming it is the “stylist’s” fault for not returning it…..Fact!
    Necklace costs $2500 at famous jewelry store…….Huh?
    Necklace could be bought at Walmart for $5.00 tops……Fact!
    Question is: Who is the real scam artist, Lindsay or the jewelry store owner?
    BOTH……FACT!

  21. herbiefrog

    hey babooda…

    well spotted… : ))

    …gonna speak out ?

  22. jumpin_j

    I think Beavis said it best: “Give her the chair! THE CHAIR!!! THE CHAIR!!!! Whoa… huh huh… cool!”

  23. s'up bitches

    How much does this useless cum dumpster spend on attorney’s fees a year. How does she get the money?

  24. Lindsay Lohan
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    she did it to be friends with winona ryder…since no one else will talk to her

  25. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Guilty. Next?

  26. j-sin

    And what a horrific wrist slapping this shall be…

  27. Anya

    ugly hooker belongs in prison, even Penis Hilton served some time. How is it that this ginger slut hasn’t seen the inside of a prison cell yet???

  28. aine

    I just wanted to note that “Wiggles” may be the best puppy name ever. I’m thinking I should have named my puppy that.

  29. captain america

    the question everybody is asking these day’s.
    …………WHEN WILL SHE BE DEAD?

  30. Rhialto

    We aren’t even talking about the growth potential. But you can’t expect, other than Lindsay Lohan, to have it all in the first career stage.

  31. anonymous

    Lindsay Lohan’s the “Al Capone” of Hollywood. She knows she’s guilty, the public knows she’s guilty, the cops know she’s guilty but they can get ANY charges to stick.

    As she triumphantly walks out of the courtroom yet again. She should flip the “F-U” finger to the DA, the judge, LAPD’s police chief and LA’s Mayor. LOL

  32. Gando

    Lindsay Lohan should be more careful. This bridge to recovery she’s building can come down by the slightest earthquake…..

  33. Rhialto

    I’m getting used to this but first i was LiLo and after that i’ve been Snooki, Charlie Sheen and even Justin Bieber. So what’s next? Danny DeVito?

  34. anonym

    come on !!!

    at least give her some real jail time.

    fuckin weak sauce

  35. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s cool to wear bathrobes in public now? i hope she wears a snuggie out next

  36. Rhialto

    Her mugshots aren’t that bad.

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