Lindsay Lohan Endorses Brazilian Politician With Chopper Full of Coke
In a now-deleted tweet, Lindsay Lohan endorsed Brazilian presidential candidate Aécio Neves yesterday because if there’s one person the people of South America look to for political advice, it’s Roja Diabla de la Whitenose, Holy Mother of DongBongs. And now for the part about coke because of course this is about coke and probably the largest amount ever involved in a Lindsay Lohan post. Even counting that time Charlie Sheen touched her boob. I almost didn’t believe it myself. TMZ reports:
Lindsay took a beating for getting involved in anyone’s politics for obvious reasons. But a source connected with LiLo tells TMZ, she’s supporting the guy because “she has plenty of contacts there and has several business trips to the country.” The source also says she has a “good contact” in Brazil who likes Neves a lot.
Here’s what Lindsay’s 8.5 million followers need to know. Neves owns a company that owns a helicopter that was seized by the federal police … seized because it was carrying 4.5 TONS of cocaine.
The Aécio Neves campaign has since released the following statement: “Dear the Americas, would you be so kind to let us know how you remove this, how you say, barnacle from the side of our helicopters? We have tried very sharp sticks and coating the sides with the butter, but it will not release it’s grip. No creature should ever be this powerful, and we pray daily to God for Him to rid of this curse. Thank you for your time.”