Lindsay™: ‘I Don’t Drink, You Guys!’

Because she’s always been a reliable and trustworthy source, Lindsay Lohan wants everyone to know she wasn’t drunk in the photos of her falling down outside the Motor City Bar in Manhattan. She was simply hanging out outside a bar, swapping jokes and making sure the sidewalk still smells like hobo urine. That’s all. TMZ reports:

“I was NOT drinking, nor do I drink! … I was with my brother, sister and friends. I was making a joke. They’re trying to make something out of nothing.”
Lindsay adds, “Just because I’m out doesn’t mean I’m drinking.”

And Lindsay™’s right. Just because she’s holding 18 cigarettes and falling face first outside of a bar we shouldn’t assume she’s drunk. For all we know, she just had lots of promiscuous sex with anonymous strangers in the bathroom and couldn’t walk straight. Or, as others have mentioned, she might’ve lost her contact and had to pick it up off a New York City sidewalk with her nose. That’s the proper way.

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News