Lindsay Lohan is a Victim of Weird Shoes and Husband Jumping

July 1st, 2011 // 52 Comments

BLARRRFF! … It was the shoes!”

Hours after being released from the day spa the California legal system calls “house arrest,” Lindsay Lohan was spotted stumbling out of the Lexington Social House, so naturally it was only a matter of time until the bullshit parade started. Like clockwork, she posted a picture of her shoe along with the following rant on Twitter last night:

Of course me going to my best friends going away dinner is a headline- especially on my first day out of my house in 35 days. That does not give anyone the right to have a field day and manifest stories. IT WAS A GOING AWAY DINNER, THAT WAS IT. Nothing exciting happened aside from the very yummy hummus and pita. If anyone caused me to nearly fall it was the pyschotic paparazzi…. off to the gym now- have a lovely day xo

What’s interesting is earlier in the day she claimed her friends husband jumped out and scared her which even a drunk person has to realize sounds like horseshit. Via TMZ:

Lindsay says she went out last night to attend a best friend’s going away party.
And she’s telling friends, the reason she stumbled wasn’t because of alcohol — it was because her friend’s husband jumped in front of her unexpectedly, and she tripped.

She realizes she’s allowed to legally drink, right? All she had to say was, “I was allowed to leave my house for the first time in 35 days and maybe had a few too many,” but I guess, that story’s not rife with dramatic tales of paparazzi and everything being someone else’s fault. Seriously, has this chick ever taken responsible for her actions? Just once.

ALI: Who spilled coffee in my car?
LINDSAY: Aurora borealis!

DINA: Who turned off my Real Housewives?
LINDSAY: A Jehovah Witness!

DOCTOR: How did you get pregnant?
LINDSAY: These fuckin’ shoes!

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re a mean one…Mr. Grinch….

  2. I’m a victim for having looked at these pics after spanking it to JLH 10 minutes ago.


  3. Facebook Me

    She looks like she is wearing a witch’s dress in shitty stripper shoes. The blonde hair looks ridiculous on her, it makes her too washed out looking. Fish, you are right, this bitch will NEVER take responsibility for her actions. Ever.

  4. Poptr

    hahaha what a bitch..

  5. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Wash me Wango-Tangooo

  6. Lorac

    She doesn’t know what the word “manifest” means.

    • stratacat

      Whoever gave that drunkie a thesaurus needs a slap in the face.

      • TomFrank

        More likely, it’s evidence that her publicist handles her Twitter account. Granted, the grammar’s bad enough to be hers, but there’s only one word misspelled in that entire rant.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah….she’s not wasted at all. It’s those pesky paparazzi….curse them.And to think…she would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids

  8. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweetheart….watch out….One of those ugly eyes you have is slipping away.

  9. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not drunk. It was just windy that night

  10. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    hehehe I fooled them all. Greatest.Actress.Ever.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn that was some good coke, thanks Paparazzi…same time tomorrow?…You bring the coke and I promise an up-shot

  12. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    shan danger
    Commented on this photo:

    do weird shoes cause you to have a fucking lazy eye and mouth primed for the drooling? if that were the case shauna sand would look this way every day…..wait….

  13. indirectly, those shoes *do* get you pregnant

  14. Venom

    What is your deal?
    Why do you have such a hard on for her?

    It is not like she beat the shit out of another human being like Chris Brown did and spent not one day in jail or in prison.
    You want to bitch about someone getting treated awesome after all the bullshit they have done, bitch about him.

    • watson

      The snake venom must have creeped to your brain and paralyzed it. The only hard on for her on gossip sites is because she seems to be the only person on planet Earth with an actual get of jail free card. I think Paris Hilton did more time than her. Lohan is like a blond, modern day Houdini. But then again Houdini eventually died. So theres no escaping forever I guess.
      And Fish does bitch about Chris Brown. Where have you been?

      • Facebook Me

        Good point about Hilton spending more time in jail then this fire crotch. Hilton’s have a lot more cash then this broke bitch has.

    • TomFrank

      Wow. Fish bitches about Chris Brown at every conceivable opportunity, and has to fend off the “why you hatin’” crowd. I never dreamed that someone would attack him from the other flank and say he’s given him an easy time, but there you are, Venom. And it’s not like you’re new to this site and can plead ignorance.

      But Lindsay Lohan deserves a break because all she ever did was nearly run over a baby and drive away from the incident. That’s cool, right?

    • cc

      Thanks for stopping in Gandhi.

  15. What an idiot

    She’ll never admit that she got loaded, because that would 1) give the judge in her next court appearance ammunition to toss her arrogant ass in jail, and 2) even though she’s a full blown alcoholic, she still thinks that she’s a social drinker. So, she again begins with the lies & bullshit stories, like “the papparzzi frightened me” or “it’s the shoes I’m wearing” or “the yucca plant tripped me”. Delusional-han is her name…

  16. Does Lindsay use a different dictionary than the rest of us? Pretty sure pita and hummus means bread and dip, not jack and coke. And yummy must mean ’25′.

  17. yomamma

    Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, if you look at the last pic is clear the fucking paparazzi are right up in her face. Imagine if YOU had a few drinks somewhere and then you leave to find a crowd of 2 dozen bright flashes constantly spamming your face, all while wearing 8″ platform heels… ANYONE COULD FALL.
    Point being: WHO THE FUCK CARES? And how about LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.
    I mean, I don’t even like her or any of the Hollywood whores, but she’s still no different from any other young girl who parties too much. The only difference is that scum paparazzi follow her around so they can sell these retarded pics.

  18. jn

    What a retarded post. SMH

  19. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    sober? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  20. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    if you feel the need to hold up the wall…..

  21. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    sssshhhh, psssst..the paprazatzzzi made me do it.

  22. JFS61

    If that 4th pic isn’t the definition of sh*t-faced, then I don’t know what is.

    • Tell me about it. And in #5 she’s just smiling her drunken face off at the cameras. Yeah. She’s really shocked and put off by her papparazzi friends. And re:@yomamma: The idiot goes to a popular nightspot for a big party her FIRST DAY OUT and she’s put off by all the “unexpected” cameras? There are celebrities you never even see ONE pic of, let only 20, leaving establishments. They are, listen up now, DISCREET! Lindsey gets attention because she screams for it. In other words, she doesn’t WANT to be left the fuck alone.

      • lindsay crackwhore

        otm, these bitches arent fooling anyone. its insulting. they think if they come up with the lie, ouila, its over we all msut believe it, including herself. denial is a powerful and scary thing.

  23. Shia La Poof

    She’s gonna get real loaded and some guy is gonna mount her like a trophy with his cell phone in movie mode soon .

  24. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    I dunno…looks stone cold sober to me. But then I’m drunk right now…

  25. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Look out Lindsay…creepy eye dude is trying to look down your blouse.

  26. cc

    ‘because her friend’s husband jumped in front of her unexpectedly’

    Not mentioned – it was the ghost of a man who died 6 months ago.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

  28. LJ

    Those must be the same shoes she wore when she fell on her face in New York earlier this year with no paps around.

    So it is the fault of the shoes. End of story.

    Betcha she gets her next DUI before her Community Service is complete.

  29. Joanne

    I wouldn’t mind being her for a day

  30. Spoogebob Nopants

    Her train wreck used to be entertaining but now it’s just disturbing. This young woman is gonna die in less than 5 years.

  31. the captain

    lilo again?

  32. Allison Wunderlan

    Cyndi Lauper just transported into the 21th century from the 80s.

  33. Mart

    Drug addicting-drunking ho is drunk againg what’s new. Lindsay said it best “she can do what ever she want.” Good to be a white criminal these days.

  34. Mart

    Drug addicting-drunking ho is drunk again what’s new. Lindsay said it best “she can do what ever she want.” Good to be a white criminal these days.

  35. Mart

    Opps sorry about the double post.

  36. terry

    Worthless trash.

  37. Lindsay Lohan Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    If by ‘it was the shoes’ she meant she was somehow drinking martinis out of them.

  38. Lindsay Lohan Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Them’s some slut kicks

  39. narm

    can we just take a moment to think about WHY THE FUCK LINDSAY LOHAN IS SO INTERESTING. fish, i fucking love you, but you have to stop with this bullshit. personally, i feel bad for her because she’s obviously a drug addict who’s dealing with her dirty laundry being aired out in the media. like, this isn’t some miley cyrus shit where she’s just doing stupid things here and there, this is like lindsay lohan has a fucking problem. as amusing as it kinda was at first, not only is it mean to keep talking about it, but IT’S OLD FUCKING NEWS it seems like the only way people will stop talking about her is when she’s dead, and the vulcherous media will still probably go after her then.

  40. Shia La Poof

    I want to see her pull a train on some roofies by a biker gang .

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