BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan Called 911 On Her Mom For ‘Holding Her Against Her Will,’ Yessss…

October 10th, 2012 // 52 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan And Mom Dina Hug After Drunken Possibly Cocaine Fueled Brawl
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“THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE, DRUNKLANDER!” TMZ reports:

It started last night when the duo went to a nightclub in New York City. Our photog says they left the club at around 4 AM and headed back to Dina’s home in Long Island.
Lindsay and Dina started arguing in the car and it escalated when they got home. We’re told it became physical with Lindsay sustaining a cut on her leg. We’re also told there was property damage — including a broken bracelet of Lindsay’s — that occurred during the scuffle.

We’re told the 911 call was a domestic violence call. Sources say in one of the 911 calls to cops … the caller said Lindsay was being held against her will by Dina and the driver.

So Lindsay and Dina finally got into the drunken brawl that years of one (literally) pimping the other has inevitably been building towards. I say this with all seriousness, there are small children I would murder to hear that 911 call:

OPERATOR: Ma’am, I need you to calm down. How long as this person been holding you against her will?
LINDSAY: My entire life! [breaking sound] OH, GOD, SHE CUT ME! SHE CUT ME WITH A BROKEN HUMMEL! THAT’S MY BRANDY SNIFTER, YOU BITCH, STAY OUT OF IT!
DINA: [in background] … many dicks I sucked… teach you to suck dicks… suck sucking dicks… I SHOULD’VE HAD AN ABORTION!
OPERATOR: Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am? Are you at a brothel?
LINDSAY: *hic* Something like that. FINE! STEAL MY FUCKING PURSE! I STOLE IT FROM YOU YESTERDAY! Or was it a store… I HATE YOU.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    When ya gonna put a baby in there, Lindsay!? You know we gotta keep up with them Kardashians!

  2. I see this ending in a murder/suicide. It doesn’t matter which side either one falls on.

  3. RStak

    When moms attack: “She cut me with a broken hummel!”

  4. EricLr

    It’s always sad to see a pimp lose control of his hoes.

  5. This is a turning point, Lindsay Will you realize that your family is an albatross around your neck and the time is long past to disassociate yourself from them and move on with your life?

    Or will you continue on this path and be dead in a year?

    • The death-prediction thing is tricky; sometimes I think the universe is merely toying with us. A guy in Florida just died after eating a bunch of giant roaches, fer chrisssakes, so going by that standard Linds should have rightfully kicked years ago.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage
    Kojak
    Commented on this photo:

    She is agging very bad. She has the same age of Kat Dennings, Olívia Thirlby, Megan Fox and Brittany Snow.

    • Snooki's Taint

      you know way too much about some seriously irrelevant people

      • Kojak

        I was just think that she is agging bad, then i just go to her imdb page to see how old are she, and did clic on “1986″, where i found many people that have her age and look much more younger.
        Lindsay is looking like 35, the ones i used as example still looking like teenagers, which is the normal to 26 years old actresses.

    • Arlene

      The Mom isn’t much better. I saw a picture of Dinah once, and thought “Wow, this chick looks pretty good for being in her late fifties. Then I found out she was only 45 at the time! The sad part is, they BOTH have access to the best makup and hair, not to mention botox and facial peels, and they STILL look old for their ages!

  7. Palladian

    Re: Star gets girlfriend pregnant. STAR, STAR, OMFG EVERYONE IS A STAR TODAY.

  8. Snooki's Taint

    ‘against her will’? Ok we know it’s fake. She has no willpower

  9. Are we sure she didn’t tell the 911 operator that Dina was “cutting her out of the will“? Because that’s something Lindsay is just as likely to call 911 about.

    And before any of you points out that Dina has no assets worth testating (Am I using that term correctly? Where’s that guy here who plays a lawyer on the Internet?), allow me to remind you of the futility of using logic and reason to try to explain Lohan behavior.

  10. Dude of Dudes

    Im going to photoshop Verne Troyer in this pic and call it “2 1/2 people with Anger Management Issues”. Have your people call my people Hollywood.

  11. So when is the inevitable mother-daughter sloppy drunken porno?

  12. “We’re also told there was property damage — including a broken bracelet of Lindsay’s”

    Who’d she steal this one from?

  13. skunk

    i’d jizz all over both of em

  14. I think Dina just edged out Lindsay for “Biggest fuck-up award.” Congrats, your prize is one way ticket off the brooklyn bridge.

  15. cc

    ‘when the duo went to a nightclub in New York City. Our photog says they left the club at around 4 AM’

    This is what everyone does when they get together with their mother. I wonder if they double teamed a guy in a restroom stall?

  16. Inmate 12236969

    Ok if you were forced to fuck one of them which one would you fuck?

    • Wasn’t there a *jump off a bridge* option?

    • Does herpes mellow with age?

      • Aged herpes is often referred to as “vintage”, and in this case, it would be described as being very open, with the outward appearance of richness, and, of course, having a very high alcohol rate.

        Having acquired a full gold color with a deceptively open, buttery aroma and promise of firmness, it is actually totally lacking in taste, with more than a hint of rot and a flabby, bitter finish that persists for an unusually long time. The flat, stale taste is usually caused by excessive exposure, indicating that it will soon turn brown and unattractive.

      • The question which this thread leads me to ponder is, what would Ashton do? Or more to the point, which? Would it depend on his mood? How does one go from Demi Moore to Mila Kunis without some sort of junk whiplash? I know this strays from the Herpes theme, but I find comfort in believing all these hideous people have monstrous, near-sentient strains Science itself is afraid to confront, which only strengthens when they pass it around amongst themselves.

  17. squiggy

    It’s official; Robot Chicken’s Lohans are now more real/believable than the real Lohans. What an age we live in…

  18. joho777

    What?? Lindsay suffered a broken bracelet? Then we know this fight was really serious!

    Tell me, did Lindsay steal Dina’s phone, too? Is that why Dina “attacked” Linds and “hekl her prisoner?”

    I am having trouble expressing my extreme pleasure at having Lindsay living on the east coast. It’s such a cimforting feeling!

  19. Her daughter is a known fuck-up and drug/alcohol addict. The mother’s response, go clubbing with her until 4am. Makes sense.

  20. zomgbie

    so dina locked lindsay in the car and mandy bynes didnt show up to smash into it?
    wtf mandy?

  21. logan

    These have to be the two stupidest women in celebrity news. Everybody keeps calling them trailer trash. White trash isn’t this stupid. Put em in a ring and let them beat the sh*t out of each other. Let June Boo Boo be the ref.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage
    americana
    Commented on this photo:

    Everything about this chick, from her big tits and slutty dress, to her bleached hair and duck lips screams fuck me i love being a whore.

  23. anonym

    dina trying to deny her age, and pretending to be Lindsay’s older sister.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan
    TIllman
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m willing to bet their vaginas are virtually identical.

    Whoa, my computer just froze when I typed that…

  25. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    wow the 2 of them are just a hot mess

  26. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    i would so love to play with her tits

  27. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Dina Lohan
    360owns?
    Commented on this photo:

    @avaletourneau its not you, i see it to, weird man

  28. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she getting off of a BUS?

  29. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She is nasty.

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