BREAKING: Lindsay and Dina Consumed Alcohol To Prevent Tremors

Phew, Lindsay’s in the front seat. For a minute there I thought this poor bastard wasn’t going to get paid.

Seen here leaving Kim Kardashian’s wedding every shade of freckle-hammered, Lindsay Lohan reportedly spent the entire reception knocking back shots with her mom which is exactly what you want to encourage a recovering alcoholic on probation to do. It’s the secret 14th step right after, “If your mother’s a gin-fueled hosebeast that pimped you to Disney at a young age so she wouldn’t have to get a real job, you can go ahead and ignore all that other shit.” RadarOnline reports:

“She was drinking and partying hard,” insider said. “I saw her order shots from the bar.”
Mom Dina didn’t seem to mind. She was sitting right with her daughters as Lindsay enjoyed several drinks.
Although still on probation, with community service and counseling requirements to be met, Lindsay has no restrictions on drinking and she was not driving.

And thus concludes our coverage of the Kardashian wedding. On that note, some of our more savvy readers may have noticed I fell right into their trap because a post like this is the sole reason Lindsay Lohan was invited in the first place, so, yes, in a way I did. But in another way, I also posted photos of her cleavage flopping all over the place. I don’t know how that excuses the other, but for a minute let’s presuppose we live in a world where looking at breasts causes people to lose their train of thought. And that’s why the penguin told me to seek the talisman.

Photo: AKM Images, INFdaily