Charlie Sheen To Lindsay Lohan: ‘Why You No BJ?’

December 11th, 2012 // 30 Comments
Does He Do Bail?
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Charlie Sheen Gave Lindsay $100K, Gee, I Wonder Why... Read More »

So remember when Charlie Sheen gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000 to help with her IRS debt and everyone just assumed she blew him because she’s a prostitute. A prostitute of the night. Turns out he really did just send her the money out of the goodness of his heart which she immediately spent without even thanking him, so we’re right back into I Believe Everything That Just Happened Here Land. ET Online reports:

“I’m still waiting for a text to say ‘thank you,’” laughed Sheen. “Anything, you know?”
Nevertheless he wished “the best” for Lohan, explaining that she’s “a very good and decent young lady that is just going through a lot.”

And here where it gets better. While Lindsay Lohan got $100,000 for her tax problem that’s entirely her own fault, a little girl dying of cancer only ranks $75K which I’ll assume has a lot to do her with being underage and her dad’s a police officer. There’s not enough coke in the world to ignore those odds. Charlie Sheen’s looked. Via TMZ:

Charlie was recently having a conversation with a Hermosa Beach police officer (don’t worry he was not being arrested) and learned about a cop whose 10-year-old daughter Jasmine had been diagnosed with Childhood Rhabdomyosarcoma.

The next day Charlie fired off a check for $75,000 to the Hermosa Beach Police Assoc. — which had started a fund in Jasmine’s honor.

“If situation =/= BJ, subtract $25,000.” – How Charlie Sheen’s mind operates. But mostly it’s this:

[Insert Gandalf flying an F18 into a giant vagina here.]


  1. EricLr

    If one trainwreck leaves Albuquerque at 4 a.m. after an all-night coke bender, and the other trainwreck leaves Phoenix at 4:30 a.m. after free-basing Oxycontin for 10 hours–at what point will they meet?

  2. Schmidtler

    $100,000 to a self centered bitch hell bent on self destruction, who can’t even be bothered to send the donor a thank you tweet or email? and we were criticizing Charlie Sheen when he was blowing all his money on cocaine fueled hooker private jet parties?

  3. Her liver’s starting to go. Her skin’s the color of a lemon party.

  4. Moo Cow Hunter

    She’s intent on joining the “forever 27″ club. Except no one told her that’s for musicians. Although she did make a few music videos so technically she qualifies.

  5. nick

    aching firehole

  6. Lindsay “is just going through a lot”? Charlie means “of blow,” right? Or “of vodka.” Either way.

  7. JC

    I’m so surprised that Dina didn’t instill better manners in Lindsay when…..ha ha ha, sorry, I can’t even finish that with a straight face.

    • Jack Ketch

      She did say she “was raised to be nice” once. HAHAHAH. Seriously, she said that. She who steals fur coats and other things like people change their socks, and writes on a wall that “Scarlett Johansson is a bloody cunt.” Nice. Well brought-up, you piece of trash.

  8. El Jefe

    He gave her $100,000 to help her out and that worthless bitch could not even call him to tell him thank you? What a worthless piece of shit. Hollywood really needs to turn their back on her and let her end up homeless where she belongs.

  9. Your misery will end soon, Lindsay.

  10. Jeff

    Ok, Chuck Sheen may be a drug fueled psycho, but that story about the 75k to the little girl with cancer is pretty freaking awesome. Way to go, Wild Thing.

  11. Did he give her the money, or send it directly to the IRS? If the former, call me cynical, but I’d say there is a strong possibility it was spent on other things.

    Meaning, if you are doing the backstroke through mounds of cocaine with a Grey Goose bottle clutched in each fist, a thank-you-note is probably something you put off until later.

    • El Jefe

      Why do you think the IRS ran and seized her bank accounts right after the story broke that Sheen gave her that money? You know that stupid bitch did not pay them. They moved to get what they could left and also because she pissed them off knowing she could pay down her debt.

      Those fuckers don’t play, they are going to throw her ass in prison now. She better come up with the money quick.

  12. She doesn’t need to send him a thank you note. She already sent him the bill and the number to the local VD clinic.

  13. She became a fat little cheeseburger didn’t she? Looking forward to seeing her snort some man paste to keep her addiction funds going.

  14. Adam Frawley

    Musicians are probably double – teaming her in an effort to bring some color ( white ) to her cheeks

  15. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Lindsay, if I look down towards the ground and stick my tongue out, like this. our chins match!”

  16. Bionic_Crouton

    Charlie Sheen and Lindsay will eventually get together and swap medication and STDs for now, That donation Charlie gave to the Hermosa PD will buy him a “Get out of jail free” card for the next dead hooker that ends up in their county with his DNA inside her.

  17. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    Let’s see, Charlie probably figured at $50 a blowjob, she’ll have him paid back in….

    Wait, will she live that long? Will he? My roubles are on her going first. Funny, not one of us would have said that in December of 2011, would we?

  18. Juano

    Good for Charlie to give $75k to that girl. That’s real charity, unlike guys like Romney who give it to their church, which already has billions of dollars in assets.

    So, while I am curious why he gave the Uber-Train Wreck $100k, I applaud him for his generous spirit.

    Would that the rest of the Hollywood elite would follow his lead.

  19. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at those disgusting fat puffy fingers eww!

  20. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Vile is the only word that comes to mind.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey dude, better move out of my way.. About to puke in 3.. 2.. 1..

  22. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    The hairline, the fingers, the bulging eyes, wow…want to feel sorry for her but then I remember that she takes sympathy as a big fat pass for more bullshit sociopath behavior.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    That said, she needs to be locked up AND get dried out and real no-bullshit rehab BEHIND BARS.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Tired Disshevled LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    shiiiireee, bagginssssss

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