Charlie Sheen To Lindsay Lohan: ‘Why You No BJ?’

So remember when Charlie Sheen gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000 to help with her IRS debt and everyone just assumed she blew him because she’s a prostitute. A prostitute of the night. Turns out he really did just send her the money out of the goodness of his heart which she immediately spent without even thanking him, so we’re right back into I Believe Everything That Just Happened Here Land. ET Online reports:

“I’m still waiting for a text to say ‘thank you,'” laughed Sheen. “Anything, you know?”
Nevertheless he wished “the best” for Lohan, explaining that she’s “a very good and decent young lady that is just going through a lot.”

And here where it gets better. While Lindsay Lohan got $100,000 for her tax problem that’s entirely her own fault, a little girl dying of cancer only ranks $75K which I’ll assume has a lot to do her with being underage and her dad’s a police officer. There’s not enough coke in the world to ignore those odds. Charlie Sheen’s looked. Via TMZ:

Charlie was recently having a conversation with a Hermosa Beach police officer (don’t worry he was not being arrested) and learned about a cop whose 10-year-old daughter Jasmine had been diagnosed with Childhood Rhabdomyosarcoma.

The next day Charlie fired off a check for $75,000 to the Hermosa Beach Police Assoc. — which had started a fund in Jasmine’s honor.

“If situation =/= BJ, subtract $25,000.” – How Charlie Sheen’s mind operates. But mostly it’s this:

[Insert Gandalf flying an F18 into a giant vagina here.]