“Call me Mrs. Crotchfire.”
I would’ve posted this sooner, but a gaping vagina and 18 server crashes will fuck a man’s schedule up, so here’s In Touch Weekly reporting that not only is Lindsay Lohan “dating” an investment banker, she’s also taking care of his kids who presumably don’t have a mother that loves them because she hasn’t tried to flee the country with them:
“Lindsay helps the kids take baths. She really pitches in looking after them, and the girls really like her,” a second source tells the mag, adding that the actress is doing better than ever. “She’s finally in a mature relationship with a really grounded guy.”
So you know how everyone’s been freaking out lately about the over-militarization of local police forces? Hear me out: What if we gave all that shit to child services? Mainly wherever this guy lives. Who’s going to argue that? Besides libertarians. They’re a silly group.
Photos: Splash News