There Is Another… Lohan… Again

January 31st, 2013 // 88 Comments
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Speaking of children who have no business existing, while Lindsay Lohan spent yesterday in court watching her new lawyer perform such dazzling legal maneuvers as “This here’s my lucky rabbit’s foot” and “Lookin’ beautiful today, ya honah,” (No really.), her dad was learning that 8,567 kicks to the vagina still isn’t enough to abort a pregnancy as he watched Kate Major give birth to the latest bastard that will put him in jail for unpaid child support. TMZ reports:

We’re told Kate gave birth to a son — Landon Major Lohan — at 11:39 AM PT.
The baby weighed in at 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs 5 oz … and is already wanted in 3 states (kidding!).
We’re told Michael was with Kate the entire time … and even cut the umbilical cord.

“Wait, wait, dad, just a little bit higher with those scissors. Higher… higher… now.”
“But, son, that’s your neck. The cord’s way down he-”
DO IT.

Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    HEY I’M WALKIN HERE!
    I’M WALKIN HERE!!

  2. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Daila
    Commented on this photo:

    illuminati

  3. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Kimbo
    Commented on this photo:

    Its a Rainbow Triangle. She could only afford the one color.

  4. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Barbara
    Commented on this photo:

    I went to high school with her Judge, Stephanie Sautner, and we both always got in trouble for TALKING…she was a fun person…you go Stephanie.

    Barbara

  5. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Jack Attack
    Commented on this photo:

    She seriously looks as if she isn’t really sure where she is. She is going to join the 27 club. Such a shame.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    She is 26 years old? Jesus Tapdancing Christ,,,,

  7. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “you said if I swallowed and let you do anal I’d be excused so I could hustle more blow , and now I think you were lying to me !

  8. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I slurped your jizz and this kind of effort is what I get !!!!”

  9. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “this is the last time I let a lawyer do me doggystyle without letting me snort and 8-ball first “

  10. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “blah blah , blah lying…. blah, blah,blah drinking…. blah , blah , blah , stealing … this so boring ! I am sooo bored …. wonder if the baliff has any coke …. where can I score …. Maybe the judge is holding … how can I get into the judges chambers without being seen… Maybe I can get into the evidence locker , there’s got to be tons of coke in their for sure …
    Blah , blah, blah menace to society … Blah , blah , blah , sociopath…

  11. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    limited options
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah , the cop never saw me driving , what a dope to belie…..”

  12. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    truly “Mommie Dearest”

  13. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    ” was that wrong? … I didn’t know that was wrong … I always drink and drive … I always shoplift … I always steal from people at parties … was that wrong ?”

  14. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    “This bitch is harshing my high !”

  15. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    100K to fuck this ? I’m thinking more like some 2 for 1 coupons at Burger King

  16. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    vacant ambition
    Commented on this photo:

    ” and he spooged all over my face ! Old man spooge !”

  17. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    the wrecker
    Commented on this photo:

    Herber dornk dargle marmp, Garbl.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Commented on this photo:

    (thinking) Wow… He’s getting his ass chewed! If I wasn’t drunk and emotionally dead inside, I’d feel bad for him.

  19. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Dreams is her future black lesbian cell mate.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom…Why isn’t the Oscar carpet red this year?”

  21. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Judge: Your lawyer is an idiot! I hope you’re not paying him!
    Lindsay: I’m not, and he’s worth every penny!

  22. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo
    chicka
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay, for fuck’s sake! Snap out of it, hey!

  23. Lindsay Lohan Probation Violation New Tattoo New Lawyer Mark Heller
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    they both look like plastic surgery freaks

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