Speaking of children who have no business existing, while Lindsay Lohan spent yesterday in court watching her new lawyer perform such dazzling legal maneuvers as “This here’s my lucky rabbit’s foot” and “Lookin’ beautiful today, ya honah,” (No really.), her dad was learning that 8,567 kicks to the vagina still isn’t enough to abort a pregnancy as he watched Kate Major give birth to the latest bastard that will put him in jail for unpaid child support. TMZ reports:
We’re told Kate gave birth to a son — Landon Major Lohan — at 11:39 AM PT.
The baby weighed in at 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs 5 oz … and is already wanted in 3 states (kidding!).
We’re told Michael was with Kate the entire time … and even cut the umbilical cord.
“Wait, wait, dad, just a little bit higher with those scissors. Higher… higher… now.”
“But, son, that’s your neck. The cord’s way down he-”
“DO IT.”
Photo: Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
HEY I’M WALKIN HERE!
I’M WALKIN HERE!!
illuminati
Its a Rainbow Triangle. She could only afford the one color.
I went to high school with her Judge, Stephanie Sautner, and we both always got in trouble for TALKING…she was a fun person…you go Stephanie.
Barbara
She seriously looks as if she isn’t really sure where she is. She is going to join the 27 club. Such a shame.
She is 26 years old? Jesus Tapdancing Christ,,,,
“you said if I swallowed and let you do anal I’d be excused so I could hustle more blow , and now I think you were lying to me !
” I slurped your jizz and this kind of effort is what I get !!!!”
“this is the last time I let a lawyer do me doggystyle without letting me snort and 8-ball first “
“blah blah , blah lying…. blah, blah,blah drinking…. blah , blah , blah , stealing … this so boring ! I am sooo bored …. wonder if the baliff has any coke …. where can I score …. Maybe the judge is holding … how can I get into the judges chambers without being seen… Maybe I can get into the evidence locker , there’s got to be tons of coke in their for sure …
Blah , blah, blah menace to society … Blah , blah , blah , sociopath…
“Yeah , the cop never saw me driving , what a dope to belie…..”
truly “Mommie Dearest”
” was that wrong? … I didn’t know that was wrong … I always drink and drive … I always shoplift … I always steal from people at parties … was that wrong ?”
“This bitch is harshing my high !”
100K to fuck this ? I’m thinking more like some 2 for 1 coupons at Burger King
” and he spooged all over my face ! Old man spooge !”
Herber dornk dargle marmp, Garbl.
(thinking) Wow… He’s getting his ass chewed! If I wasn’t drunk and emotionally dead inside, I’d feel bad for him.
Dreams is her future black lesbian cell mate.
“Mom…Why isn’t the Oscar carpet red this year?”
Judge: Your lawyer is an idiot! I hope you’re not paying him!
Lindsay: I’m not, and he’s worth every penny!
Lindsay, for fuck’s sake! Snap out of it, hey!
they both look like plastic surgery freaks