“Goddammit, Rip Taylor, we get it! You like confetti.”
After boarding then unboarding a plane at JFK and eventually getting a private jet paid for by Mr. Pink Energy Drink to fly her back to LA just in time for her to be 45 minutes late to court, here’s Lindsay Lohan finally showing up to court today and immediately took the plea deal despite spending weeks rejecting them because she’s super innocent, you guys. So now, she’ll spend 90 days in rehab instead of jail and go through 18 months of psychotherapy even though I can save everyone the rush: “It’s Dina. Dina’s fucking her up.” In the meantime, here’s Lindsay telling her lawyer during proceedings to “Don’t say anything else,” and then “Oh my God, I’m going to kill you,” when he does in fact say something else:
And, yet, she’s still not in jail even though this is like watching Lex Luthor and Otis after being caught by Superman. You can practically hear the John Williams music.