So Lindsay Lohan Took That Plea Deal

March 18th, 2013 // 34 Comments
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“Goddammit, Rip Taylor, we get it! You like confetti.”

After boarding then unboarding a plane at JFK and eventually getting a private jet paid for by Mr. Pink Energy Drink to fly her back to LA just in time for her to be 45 minutes late to court, here’s Lindsay Lohan finally showing up to court today and immediately took the plea deal despite spending weeks rejecting them because she’s super innocent, you guys. So now, she’ll spend 90 days in rehab instead of jail and go through 18 months of psychotherapy even though I can save everyone the rush: “It’s Dina. Dina’s fucking her up.” In the meantime, here’s Lindsay telling her lawyer during proceedings to “Don’t say anything else,” and then “Oh my God, I’m going to kill you,” when he does in fact say something else:

And, yet, she’s still not in jail even though this is like watching Lex Luthor and Otis after being caught by Superman. You can practically hear the John Williams music.

Photos: Getty, Splash News / Video: TMZ

superficial

  1. cc

    ‘spend 90 days in rehab instead of jail and go through 18 months of psychotherapy’

    Wow, that’s almost medieval.

    • They left out the other conditions of her sentencing – she has to go to bed without dessert tonight, and no x-box for a week!

      • “A whole WEEK without Xbox? Oh, c’mon you cute judgie-poo you. I think we could work out some sort of work furlough program where I come by your house three times a wee…I mean every single night and do whatever little things around there that you might want me to do…right…*wink*???”

  2. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look, Ray J must have been there.

  3. ash

    what does the glitter mean?

    • logan

      The Cali court system didn’t have enough time to buy rose petals, so they threw the next best thing, glitter. They only do it for the most popular repeat offenders.

  4. Dina Lohan

    There are awful people that are jealous of Lindsay’s innocence, purity, beauty and talent and it is these jealous haters that are forcing the courts to persecute precious Lindsay.

  5. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I like her outfit. (not gay).

    • Orange

      Yes, it really is a nice designer outfit. I thought she was broke. It must be nice to be broke and shop and get free private jet flights. Now, just what does her father do and her mother do for money, I thought that they were broke, too. I need to find out how to do this broke thing instead of watching Suze Orman.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Crazy bitch LOVES the attention.
    These loony media court scenes are just more positive reinforcement for her bullshit.

  7. Visible Ink

    18 months of psychotherapy?! After which the therapist will be requesting 18 months of therapy.

  8. WhiskeyDust

    Fuck….. Now I have to bump her down in my dead pool for at LEAST 90 days now….

    Damn court system.

  9. B&WMinstrel

    Under california celebrity law surviving the glitter bomb means she’s not a witch and she’s free to go

  10. As much as I question the validity of claiming celebrities are human with any sort of inherent or legal right to privacy, it’s pretty bullshit to post transcripts of conversations between lawyers and their clients. There is a reasonable expectation of privacy, it’s not hopping out of car on a public street with your beef flapping around.

  11. How the fuck does this bitch keep getting away with this? A regular person would have served about 3 years of a 5 year sentence by now if they did the same shit, maybe even more.

    • Dizzy

      In LA everyone is in awe of celebrities. They can’t get enough of glitter and fool’s gold. That’s why there is a pot shop on every corner, so they all don’t go insane from waiting in traffic all the time, the depressing smog, and having LL in their city for the entire day.

  12. Nate

    Again just because some one take a Plea Deal it does not me that they’re guilty. Also fuck the Police! Who cares if she or anyone for that matter lies to these commie scumbags.

  13. Inner Retard

    Excerpts from the hearing:
    - Your Honor, I object! I will not have monkeys jumping off my VCR.
    - What?!
    - Sandwich. In the first degree.
    - Ms. Lohan. Control yourself.
    - Don’t you tell me that. I’m Hollywood royalty… (suddenly starts whispering)… The wizard. It’s back.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Commented on this photo:

    Miracle Max in his younger days.

  15. anonym

    Since the acting career didn’t work out, she could be a ventriloquist. I hardly saw her lips move.

  16. ChaCha

    Getting kinda bored with Lindsay. What’s Tila Tequila been up to?

  17. Techman

    She only accepted the plea deal because her former assistant couldn’t be convinced or bribed to change his story despite Lindsey and her lawyer’s best efforts.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Commented on this photo:

    In all fairness, hiring one of the Goblins from the Harry Potter movies as her lawyer makes about as much sense as any other decision she’s made:

    http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Images_of_Griphook?file=Griphooksing.jpg

  19. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know if you were black, they would have given you the chair by now,”

  20. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Commented on this photo:

    JUDGE: “So you lied to cops…”
    LOHAN: “In my defense, I have a really shitty lawyer”
    JUDGE: “Fair enough”

  21. Lindsay Lohan Court Glitter Bomb
    Commented on this photo:

    Ronnie James Dio didn’t die, he just started a career as a lawyer.

  22. reinhard heidrich

    This is her career now,perp walking in fron of the cameras and playing the role of the “innocent” acccused. She cannot get movie or tv or any other type of work so this is it for her…having said that please, can we hang her,slowly,with piano wire , and televise it.

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