CONFIRMED: Lindsay Lohan Booted From Community Service, But Won’t Go To Jail

October 18th, 2011 // 68 Comments

Last week we learned that Lindsay Lohan was kicked out of her community service program at a women’s shelter which she naturally tried to lie about because the first minutes of her life involved crawling out of Dina Lohan‘s uterus. Turns out she actually did get booted – of course – for never showing up, but if you actually think that’s going to land Lindsay in jail, here’s exactly why she’s not and subsequently will never give a shit because the California legal system apparently folds at the first sight of freckle-boobs. TMZ reports:

Our sources say … the Probation Dept. officials will tell the judge in a written report that Lindsay is in “substantial compliance” with the terms of her probation. They concede she was kicked out of the Downtown Women’s Center for habitually failing to show up, but they note that Lindsay has a year to complete 360 hours of community service, and she’s still on track.
And, sources say, the Probation Dept. has been in touch with Lindsay’s shrink, who says she has gone “regularly.” The shrink did not address Judge Stephanie Sautner’s directive that Lindsay go for therapy once a week — because she hasn’t. But, we’re told, the shrink is still satisfied.

So basically Lindsay has done just shy of nothing that’s required of her, but the probation department is going to take that as a sign she’s still good for it? Jesus. I’m going to assume they don’t want her in the office because she keeps stealing pictures of their kid because that’s literally the only explanation at this point. In the meantime, here’s Lindsay’s own father saying she’s on drugs again and needs to spend an entire year in rehab instead of jail because he clearly hasn’t read this post yet and/or paid attention to the last 18 times she’s been in court. Via RadarOnline:

“I want Lindsay to go into rehab for a year. She needs long term care,” Michael said about his oldest daughter. “Between pictures of her with bad people and her teeth, it is quite evident that her problems have not been addressed or conquered.”
“I still contend that she doesn’t belong in jail. She needs to get off all of the medication she’s on, including the Adderall which is killing her.
“The one person that holds the key to Lindsay turning her life around is her mother Dina.”

Did he blame Dina again? God, I hate it when he does that. Mostly because I hate agreeing with vagina kickers. Next thing you know they’re inviting you to one of their meetings, and suddenly, you’re down a pair of loafers. Oh, they’ll say you can scrub the gooch stain out, but they’re never the same. Never the same.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Al Czervik

    What a charmed life ! The merry – go – round is going to stop and the ride will be over , then reality will what she’s going to have to contend with

  2. Sherwood Schwartz

    How does the legal system explain the crazy way they are dealing with this train wreck in progress ?

    • Mike

      We have overcrowded jails filled with actual criminals, not young spoiled bitches. Who should we use the space for?

      • Sherwood Schwartz

        I see your point . I think one of her crimes was a felony , although I don’t really remember . Maybe she should just go free. The end can’t be that far off now .

      • Mickey " The Duke " O' Shaunessy

        She an addict . Only hitting rock bottom or death will make a change now .

      • CranAppleSnapple

        She IS an actual criminal. And they could release some of the people who committed the same crimes as her and who have actually SERVED some jail time.

      • Clarence Beeks

        Mike, I guarantee there are MANY OTHER non-violent offenders that can be let out in order for this spoiled bitch to serve her time. But they are poor, or not white, or both.

        It is BULLSHIT.

    • b4b

      Because she is the poster child for abortion.

      @beer4breakfast7

  3. Cock Dr

    I should get a comfy chair, as this trainwreck shows no sign of slowing down or completion.

  4. imabrat

    Good heavens….. did Lohan’s family nor friends learn nothing from seeing Amy Winehouse’s death? Does no one really care about this girl? (Funny how it seems more natural to call her a “girl” than a woman). She looks like death waiting to happen to her.

    • LJ

      Her “friends (read “hangers-on”) are the ones telling her there’s nothing wrong with the way she’s living her life. Her mother is one of those “friends”.

      It’s almost impossible to get someone “committed” without their personal approval, and since neither Lindsay or her Mother think that anything is wrong……

    • BE

      They see something all right.

      $$$$ from her residuals.

      $$$$ from her life insurance.

      $$$$ from selling the story of her soon to be tragic death.

      The court system can’t play Mommy and Daddy and her parents WON’T because they only give a crap about what they leech from her.

      Such a pity. She actually has talent. I keep hoping for a Robert Downey, Jr. comeback but that would actually require some jail time, huh?

  5. Perry King

    So the death spiral continues !

  6. Frank Burns

    Any chance she will “go to dentist” instead?

  7. Stuart Goldbloom

    I am going to copyright a composite dead sparrow with Lindsay’s face on it . I will then be selling them as funeral favors to the Lohan family funeral

  8. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    JustMe
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn ponytail…

  9. Ay Dios mio

    Pictured here, Lindsay exercising. Her career demands extensive sucking.

  10. best boots for vagina kicking are your genuine vietnam jungle boots. cost you half as much, last you twice as long and are great for punting cunts! course when you’re done you have to clean out the waffle with a stick, but what the hell, you can’t have everything.

  11. Star Surfer

    Who thinks the Lohan family will blame anyone but themselves when this kid turns up in a hospital emergency room DOA ?

  12. Deacon Jones

    I know that look. She’s either on poppers or E.

    Man, her body is just melting at this point…..

  13. Sardonic

    Nice bruise in pic 4. That’s one dull syringe.

  14. Patience my pretties…when there’s 8 weeks left of her year, and she still has 9 weeks of service to complete, THAT’S when the fun starts. This is just keeping the appetite whetted.

  15. LJ

    She looks as though she could pass as two or three years younger than Madonna (who is 53).

  16. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Danny Noonan
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, that is a blunt needle mark. Jeez , use some new equipment or you’ll bleed out or get HIV .

  17. DeucePickle

    How do you get kicked out of a place you never go to ?

  18. chev70

    That is a good point.

    I would go nowhere near this thing. Yeesh!

  19. The only comment that comes to mind re LiLo:

    WHAT A ROYAL FUCK-UP!

  20. Dan

    I dunno… I suspect Dina had a vagina kick coming t her. As does Lindsay’s dad.

    *Ba Dum Ching!*

  21. cc

    Note also that if you are going to commit a crime, lure your victim to this jurisdiction.

    Judge: Is it true that you killed a man?
    Me: Yes
    Judge: I am going to give you 25 years!
    Me: Your honor, I spent the last month living in a Motel 6!
    Judge: Sentenced to time served! *bangs gavel*

  22. Phil McCracken

    If she ever does another film again, I’d hate to be the actor stuck in a love scene with her. If you could hold down a big glop of vomit after smelling her breath, you *deserve* the Oscar!

  23. rantatonne

    There are probably many people in jail for less. But Yeah, maybe they just expect her to prompt nature to take it’s course. Unfortunately nature took the Bar in California.

  24. archies_leach

    I am presently in a deep obssession with Mila Kunis. I find myself uncontrollably touching myself to images of Mila Kunis and I can’t stop despite the deep moral misgivings that were severely beaten into me by my parents over practices such as touching myself. Therefore I’m here to view these images of lindsay lohan to perhaps help me stop these immoral acts I’m committing against myself to the images of Mila Kunis.

    If one will go blind from touching oneself constantly, can one limit the amount of touching yourself to where you only need glasses?

  25. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Governor Scott Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    Why? How are drugs so great you say, Fuck being a movie star, I’d rather rot away before I’m 30?

  26. seagalisgod

    Yuck. Regarding everything about this thing.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she looks great for a 64 year old.

  28. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    absolutely filthy pig

  29. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    So I guess “tater tits ” is going to have to brush her teeth this time ?

  30. TheListener

    Because of overcrowding, most prisons only want to put the most violent and dangerous criminals inside, not those who seem to pose only a small threat to society.

  31. See Alice

    Just leave her alone . She wants to fade away .

  32. Roughing is in the bill of rights

    lol “her teeth”

    I love how he’s talking about his daughter like he’s some stranger on the net

  33. I hate this stupid whore

    Whether she goes to jail or not will depend on one thing: how annoyed the judge is over blowhan’s thumbing her nose at her probation requirements. She was VERY strict about dumbasshan needing to meet ALL of her conditions, and she hasn’t, regardless of whether she was in “substantial compliance”. Blowhan is out of compliance with her probation, and if the judge gets pissed off, then she’ll have her ass handed to her. Which is fine by me…

  34. anonymoose

    THIS is her community service, as poster girl for the american cancer society, showing us that SMOKING MAKES YOU UGLY.

    Brava! This is her best work yet.

  35. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Trash Can
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay has dirty little meth rat teeth. -No offense to rats.

  36. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Millennia from now, when man is able to finally look upon God and talk to him, they shall ask why he forsake us, he need only show this moment and all will be understood.

  37. andyconda

    In an exclusive interview with RumorFix, Dina Lohan opens up about daughter Lindsay Lohan and her court date on Wednesday morning.

    Lindsay is due before Judge Stephanie Sautner for a progress report on her court-appointed community service, which she was told to complete at the Downtown Women’s Shelter and the morgue.

    PICTURES: Dina Lohan’s Birthday Party

    But Lindsay is no longer working at the shelter, having recently switched to the Red Cross instead.

    “They were making her do mostly clerical work and not as much interaction with the women in the center,” says Dina. “One time when I was with her, she turned up ten minutes late and they wouldn’t let her do it that day. And Lindsay begged them to let her in. It’s tough because it’s far for her and her main concern is complying with the court order. Lindsay is trying to work too, and get her career back on track.”

    Dina also revealed that while she didn’t think Lindsay would end up in jail for not keeping up with her community service requirements, no one knows for sure.

    “I’m not worried, but I’m praying. We always pray, because you never know what is going to happen in that situation. She’s been doing everything she is supposed to be doing and I believe that that will hopefully win over the decision.

    “Right now she is focusing on being at the Red Cross. She’s going in this evening, doing all the work they’re giving her at home to bring in. It’s a better place for her. She does have a lot of time to complete it, she has until summer basically, she has months left. And she has two movies slated.”

    And as for Michael Lohan saying that Lindsay should go to rehab for a year, Dina doesn’t agree at all.

    “He hasn’t even been around – she chooses for him not be around her while he’s like that! He needs to look at himself before he judges anyone and do the right thing himself.”

  38. Veronika Larsson

    A tragedy rapidly unfolding. Lindsay is disintegrating fast (her teeth are rotting in her mouth) and her mother is whoring her out…and when Lindsay does die, there will be Dina to get as much money out of it as possible.

    I don’t think anybody can save Lindsay now. It’s very sad.

  39. Lindsay Lohan Milan Fashion Week
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Three guesses what she’s saying and the first two don’t count.

    Charming as ever.

  40. Cracker

    I say this hating the girl, too, but…

    Every time you try to go off on how unfair the system is treating Lindsay, and how she is getting special treatment, you are showing total ignorance to the legal system. She has NOT been given special treatment. Trust me. I’ve gone through it. The whole system works this way, NOT just for her.

    • archies_leach

      Yup. My drunken-driving, methhead nobody, no-nothing cousin, who wouldn’t do the court ordered requirements, would get put away for a couple days or so and then the judge would warn him not to fuck up again, in which he would fuck up again and do another fuck up just kept skating thru the California legal system. Don’t even no if he’s alive.

  41. CranAppleSnapple

    I hope that cigarette kills her.

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