CONFIRMED: Lindsay Lohan Booted From Community Service, But Won’t Go To Jail

Last week we learned that Lindsay Lohan was kicked out of her community service program at a women’s shelter which she naturally tried to lie about because the first minutes of her life involved crawling out of Dina Lohan’s uterus. Turns out she actually did get booted – of course – for never showing up, but if you actually think that’s going to land Lindsay in jail, here’s exactly why she’s not and subsequently will never give a shit because the California legal system apparently folds at the first sight of freckle-boobs. TMZ reports:

Our sources say … the Probation Dept. officials will tell the judge in a written report that Lindsay is in “substantial compliance” with the terms of her probation. They concede she was kicked out of the Downtown Women’s Center for habitually failing to show up, but they note that Lindsay has a year to complete 360 hours of community service, and she’s still on track.
And, sources say, the Probation Dept. has been in touch with Lindsay’s shrink, who says she has gone “regularly.” The shrink did not address Judge Stephanie Sautner’s directive that Lindsay go for therapy once a week — because she hasn’t. But, we’re told, the shrink is still satisfied.

So basically Lindsay has done just shy of nothing that’s required of her, but the probation department is going to take that as a sign she’s still good for it? Jesus. I’m going to assume they don’t want her in the office because she keeps stealing pictures of their kid because that’s literally the only explanation at this point. In the meantime, here’s Lindsay’s own father saying she’s on drugs again and needs to spend an entire year in rehab instead of jail because he clearly hasn’t read this post yet and/or paid attention to the last 18 times she’s been in court. Via RadarOnline:

“I want Lindsay to go into rehab for a year. She needs long term care,” Michael said about his oldest daughter. “Between pictures of her with bad people and her teeth, it is quite evident that her problems have not been addressed or conquered.”
“I still contend that she doesn’t belong in jail. She needs to get off all of the medication she’s on, including the Adderall which is killing her.
“The one person that holds the key to Lindsay turning her life around is her mother Dina.”

Did he blame Dina again? God, I hate it when he does that. Mostly because I hate agreeing with vagina kickers. Next thing you know they’re inviting you to one of their meetings, and suddenly, you’re down a pair of loafers. Oh, they’ll say you can scrub the gooch stain out, but they’re never the same. Never the same.

Photos: Splash News