Lindsay Lohan Has Only Completed Four Days of Community Service

July 21st, 2011 // 42 Comments

Lindsay Lohan‘s house arrest ended almost an entire month ago, and at the time she couldn’t shut up about focusing on her community service and moving on with her life. So, of course, she was hauled back into court today after only completing four days. Although in her defense, the paparazzi already photographed her bringing cupcakes once, so why keep going? Just seems redundant. TMZ reports:

Judge Stephanie Sautner made it clear — she is extremely impatient with Lindsay Lohan and her progress in completing probation.
Judge Sautner made it clear, Lindsay had better complete her community services within 1 year of the date of sentencing — or else! The judge said, “I’m not going to give her five extra minutes. I don’t want to hear, ‘Oh, I couldn’t do it because I was on the set of the John Gotti movie.’”
The judge was frustrated that after 2 months, Lindsay has only completed 4 days of 60 days of community service.
The judge was also upset that Lindsay had not enrolled in psychological counseling — as she’s required to do. The judge is giving her 21 days to sign up with a personal counselor — not a group counselor.

So basically Lindsay Lohan has done next to nothing to complete her probation except immediately get ass-freckled drunk, and the judge brought her into court to say how impatient she is. Oh, good. For a minute there I was afraid they wouldn’t throw the book at her. But on a serious note, wouldn’t it save taxpayers a ton of money if the court just mailed her a letter letting her off the hook every single time she violates her probation? Shit, I’ll even write it for them, and they can use it over and over again absolutely free:

Dear Ms. Lindsay D. Lohan,

Eh. Just keep doing whatever the fuck.

Sincerely,

The California Legal System

BOOM! Money in the bank.

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. What do you get when you mix a perp walk with a duck walk? A derp walk. And that’s exactly what we have going on here.

  2. Frank Burns

    All over California, community service centers and personal counselors are hanging out “Sorry, full up” signs on their doors, because LiLo can only cause more work than she provides, and her inevitable decline will diminish the reputation of any counselor who takes her on as a patient.

    Brainstorm: “Weston Cage, Personal Counselor”.

  3. So, her tits don’t count as “community service?” California is all fucked up.

  4. Tom

    When will the nightmare end for poor pig-tits?

  5. vitobonespur

    How interesting that every time LiLo goes to court she wears something that accentuates her breasts…maybe she thinks the judge is a lesbian and she’s trying to seduce her. Maybe Lindsay knows something we don’t know because no one’s “thrown the book” at her yet.

    PS: I agree. Superb tits!

  6. Fletch

    The judge is a joke. If, if, if… BULLSHIT. You have been saying this for at least a year now and you have done nothing. Quit it already. Stop wasting the money the state of California does not have. Just tell her to go away.

  7. mel

    i’m not beating around the bush anymore. i want her to die…right now.

  8. cc

    I have some great ideas for alternative sentencing. They involve her breasts.

  9. rough will make you lose control

    Chateau Marmont is part of the community; why can’t the Ca. legal system administer services over there, instead of berating her in the press.

  10. Lindsay Lohan Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, I’d have this look too if I could get away with murder.

  11. Richard McBeef

    big difference between community service and servicing the community, linds.

  12. Hugh Gentry

    I’d love to nail her from behind while stepping on her head with my left foot. Might as well put this useless cunt to work.

  13. General Disarray

    Dude, seriously…why does it have to be your left foot? I’d at least alternate feet.

  14. Dan

    She doesn’t do her probation tasks because:

    ) Nothing happens to her for not doing it.

    ) She gets more attention by not doing it (and she is a narcissist).

    She is actually acting rather rationally not doing the things the judge tells her to do.

  15. Uncle Phil

    Isn’t there any way to get her, Chris Brown, and Charlie Sheen into Ryan Dunn’s car retroactively? Maybe trade the soldier he killed for these three?

  16. Pit BuLL LOVER

    why the F do these people give them such a LONG time period to get ANYTHING done?? a YEAR to complete 60 days?? why not make it 5 years??
    21 days to find a counselor?? why not 9 months??
    don’t they see if they gave them less but reasonable time to get this crap done they might try to get it done?
    the legal system screws itself and everyone involved in it all the time.
    its BS.

  17. Does she get no community service credit for keeping thousands of public masturbators off the streets with these photos?

  18. Can we just admit that the California penal systems game of chicken with Lindsay is over and Lindsay won? She’s proven time and again she’s not going to do what they tell her to, and they’ve proven they’re not going to do anything about it.

  19. gnargnar

    File this under most unsurprising headline ever. It’s common knowledge (at least here in LA) that celebs have $$$ deals w/ certain paps for “exclusive pictures”. Her court pics are the most lucrative, & she can’t stop her only apparent source of income aside from flashing her boobs in a magazine shoot.

  20. anonym

    you can’t polish a turd.

    maybe if community service were in a different venue………. like a whore house, she’d complete it faster.
    60 days of fucking random strangers.

    I think that’s a good way for her to pay back the public.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Court
    j.j.
    Commented on this photo:

    the judicial system in los angeles is a complete joke. there’s one set of laws for spoiled celebs and another for poor schmucks like the rest of us.

  22. the captain

    …………..she has this “Useless Feeling”?
    (this is her entire life so far)

  23. Nonny

    Maybe she’s only completed four days because even the homeless women hate her…

  24. Liz

    I am so effing sick of this waste of time. Why doesn’t she just go away? There’s gotta be a Carvel Ice Cream store on Long Island that needs someone to clean the toilets.

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