Lindsay Lohan’s Breasts Have Died (2004 – 2014)

May 8th, 2014 // 66 Comments
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In every photo like this there’s always a black guy in the background saying, “Anal is extra, motherfucker. Anal is extra, motherfucker. Anal, motherfucker, is extra. Motherfucking anal is extra.”

Here’s Lindsay Lohan attending a charity gala in London last night because the British have a more “Victorian view” on prostitution, and I think it’s time we all had a serious talk about her breasts and stop pretending they haven’t reached critical sag. Which is impressive for a woman who’s only 27-years-old and has never breastfed a day in her life because her uterus hates babies. And, yes, that was a miscarriage joke because Lindsay Lohan never had one. I’d believe a unicorn came out of her vagina before even considering the chance that every single sperm didn’t die on impact if not reversed course.

“Alright, boys, here we go- oh no no no. Turn around, turn back! OH GOD IT BURNS. Tell my wife I love her.”

Photos: Instagram / Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. alex

    She’s like Bizarro Emma Stone.

  2. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s trying so hard here.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit. Can you imagine waking up next to this? You would sneak out of the bed as quietly as possible with your hand firmly on your wallet. I can smell the cigarette breath and alcohol reek wafting off of her from here.

    • You seriously think that after falling asleep/passing out in the immediate vicinity of Lindsay Lohan, that when you wake up you’re wallet will still be there? That’s adorable.

    • JimBB

      Don’t worry, you’d still have a wide variety of venereal diseases to remember her by, incluidng several that can burn through condoms like Alien blood on a Colonial Marine.

    • That safe they have in hotel rooms, that what it is for, your wallet, watch, keys etc, if you know, bring back certain types of ladies. The more you know…

  4. Robb7

    GO AWAY!

  5. Either she’s reached granny-level tit sag or that dress is a repurposed x-ray lead apron.

  6. Ruckus

    It looks like Herbie went bananas.

  7. ace11

    Sad day in the world

    Her boobs are dead

    RIP

  8. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    The sperm in the back cry “Forward!” The sperm in the front cry “Back!”

  9. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I think most porn stars can muster a better smile than that before the money shot

  10. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m imagining someone like Maitland Ward in this dress instead of Lohan, and it’s working well for me.

  11. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    she isn’t the only one wondering what the fuck she is doing there…

  12. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    hand over the shoes lindsay and no one gets hurt

  13. Your Mom

    My girl has WAAAAAY perkier boobs than her…..and she’ll be 37 next month!

  14. “Can you throw ‘em over your shoulder/
    Like a Continental Soldier?/
    Do your boobs hang low…?”

  15. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Being a Lohan she never had much of a chance.
    It’s going to get very rough for LiLo now that her main attributes of interest are so obviously losing the gravity fight.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Self awareness was never her strong point.

    • Agreed.
      Best part of any Lohan photoshoot is the expression on her face always thinking she looks hot. Pure gold. Like planet earth has a secret that everyone is in on except her.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “How many BJ’s for coke so far, tonight, Linds?”

  18. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure she is merely blowing the coke off her hands from backstage.

  19. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Linds … how many brain cells you got left??”

  20. In her defense, her tits, like her career, peaked at age 18.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    That nude boob panel lining needs to extend over her spotty arms. And pasty legs. And face.

  22. I’m guessing she’ll hit a point where she’ll fix them, Hollywood style.

  23. Cher X

    She was better off when she was small-chested. Then came the oversized basketball boobs, then they were removed, then the coke started falling from the sky….
    Also a bra is your friend.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I keep telling you guys that for a woman that’s reaching her late 50s, linds looks pretty decent.

  25. her hands look like they stink.

    also, must every Hollywood tart under the age of 30 have those STUPID FUCKING SCRIPT TATTOOS???? ugh.

  26. oh i know

    is the only mirror in her house used for dope?? jeez Lindsay, do you not check yourself before you leave the house?! pull those pancakes UP! yikes!

  27. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s crying because the john must have paid the kill fee.

  28. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Probably not a good idea to flash side boob when said side boob goes into your armpit.

  29. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    SupaDupa
    Commented on this photo:

    Side blob

  30. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry I ruined your New Year’s Eve party, Lt Dan.

  31. Time for a science lesson:

    Implants, if not done properly, will begin to sag. That’s because the underlying musculature won’t support them.

    Periodically, the implants will have to be re-done (adjusted) to eliminate this sag.

    Lindsay needs to schedule such a procedure or else have the implants removed. Either way, it’s a $40,000 operation and she is allegedly (broke) again.

  32. Ironballs McGillicutty

    Altitude is fine. Deflation is the problem here. Still can’t dignify it with “TITS! TITS! TITS!” though.

  33. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sober as a judge”

  34. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why can’t the paparazzi that I called leave me alone?”

  35. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Two dollar… I’m a two dollar whore.”

  36. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is Lindsay there? Did she hear has-beens drink for free?

  37. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    You put your right hip in,
    You put your right hip out,
    You put your right hip in
    And you shake it all about.
    You do the Hokey Pokey
    And you turn yourself around,
    That’s what it’s all about.

  38. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Lindsay
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just hold my hand until he pulls it out”

  39. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Lindsay
    Commented on this photo:

    Da Biebs would pour some maple sizzerup on dem flapjacks and eat’em up. Boizzzzzzzzzzz

  40. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    jill
    Commented on this photo:

    Standard Hunts Point hooker’s come on.

  41. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    sad

  42. All I have for this is a joke about her B’s being fully unloaded.

  43. at least wear a bra woman.

  44. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Madonna
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof that smoking, drinking, and doing a wide variety of drugs will do you no harm… if you don’t mind looking twice your age, that is. ..

  45. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    jt
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s the hottest pic of ruth gordon ever!

  46. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Nasty ho.

  47. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    That Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess it’s time to hold a funeral for her tits.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Pale Legs Minidress Gabrielles Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t she demonstrating ‘suck a golf ball through a garden hose’ while ‘cupping the jewels’? Say what you like about Lindsay, that girl has talents

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