Lindsay Lohan Can Drink – At Ten Grand A Pop
Lindsay Lohan just got the greatest news of her life. Apparently she can knock back the delicious booze water while on probation provided she’s willing to drop $10,000 each time her SCRAM bracelet screams bloody murder. There’s literally no way she won’t consider that a deal. TMZ reports:
The man who posted Lindsay’s bail yesterday — David Perez — tells TMZ Lindsay didn’t really forfeit her $100,000 bail. The judge just applied the $100,000 to the new, enhanced bail, adding another $100,000 on, thus forcing Lindsay to pay an additional 10% premium to Perez. So Lindsay has really lost nothing, other than having to pay a total of $20,000 to the bail bondsman.
If the SCRAM people tell the judge Lindsay is drinking again, the judge will go through the same drill. Judge Revel can’t revoke bail altogether and throw Lindsay in jail … because the case involves only a misdemeanor. As long as Lindsay keeps paying the increased premium, she’ll be free.
I’ll just go ahead and say what everyone’s thinking: That’s a shitload of blowjobs. I mean, what’s the going rate? The one-legged hooker down the street charges me $5, so *punches calculator* that’s 800 million penises for one vodka tonic. Were it just a cool mil, Lindsay wouldn’t even break a sweat, but we’re talking alcohol here, not the powdery essence of her being. It’s all about motivation at this point.