Lindsay Lohan just got the greatest news of her life. Apparently she can knock back the delicious booze water while on probation provided she’s willing to drop $10,000 each time her SCRAM bracelet screams bloody murder. There’s literally no way she won’t consider that a deal. TMZ reports:
The man who posted Lindsay’s bail yesterday — David Perez — tells TMZ Lindsay didn’t really forfeit her $100,000 bail. The judge just applied the $100,000 to the new, enhanced bail, adding another $100,000 on, thus forcing Lindsay to pay an additional 10% premium to Perez. So Lindsay has really lost nothing, other than having to pay a total of $20,000 to the bail bondsman.
If the SCRAM people tell the judge Lindsay is drinking again, the judge will go through the same drill. Judge Revel can’t revoke bail altogether and throw Lindsay in jail … because the case involves only a misdemeanor. As long as Lindsay keeps paying the increased premium, she’ll be free.
I’ll just go ahead and say what everyone’s thinking: That’s a shitload of blowjobs. I mean, what’s the going rate? The one-legged hooker down the street charges me $5, so *punches calculator* that’s 800 million penises for one vodka tonic. Were it just a cool mil, Lindsay wouldn’t even break a sweat, but we’re talking alcohol here, not the powdery essence of her being. It’s all about motivation at this point.
Cumquat | June 10, 2010 at 9:59 am
Knew it.
castallare | June 10, 2010 at 10:00 am
Why isn’t she driving herself anywhere anymore? This would make this whole thing end a lot quicker…
Erik The Red | June 10, 2010 at 10:11 am
While I would normally try and predict a “Lindasy Lohan Deathwatch” counter; I just think at this point she is too dumb to die.
mfb | June 10, 2010 at 10:28 am
new site looks awesome!!!!
Doc Schweinstrudel | June 10, 2010 at 10:33 am
NObody cares about her!!!
eusadnama | June 10, 2010 at 10:34 am
Why can’t they just put the hooker in jail? That’s what they do with the rest of the trash in society. Argh.
Darkie | June 10, 2010 at 10:55 am
the things i would do so i could repeatedly stab her in the face with a machete . . .
Gen | June 10, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Wow you’re pretty fucked up…
ladnaR | June 10, 2010 at 10:57 am
Lindsay is not subject to the laws of filthy working class dregs.
She is a celebrity and can do anything she wants. Leave her alone. While you working class types struggle with your mundane chores, divas like this young starlet pull everything out of their shining souls to provide entertainment – something shiny and jiggly to you primitive folk – stimulus beyond your endless dirty diapered screaming progeny and the smell of your sweaty tattered cheap clothes to focus upon.
You should thank her and not berate her. A hateful collection of uncultivated tpes all of you.
ladnaR
ZigZagZoey | June 10, 2010 at 11:33 am
Lindsay is that you?
Nathalie | June 10, 2010 at 12:17 pm
It can’t be. Too many big words in that paragraph.
ZigZagZoey | June 10, 2010 at 12:22 pm
You have a point!
Nathalie | June 11, 2010 at 9:09 am
Just because she is a “celebrity”, that does not signify that she can elude herself from the law. Having an abundance of money is not always the answer- life lesson learned. My “mundane” chores have balanced me to be the indpendant and strong-willed person I am today. The only thing she’s providing to entertain us, is simply the gratification that our children will never grow up to be like her…or other Disney youngster gone Drug Addict starlet. So no, Lindsey can not do whatever she wants. She’s just another young diva who thinks the world is her domain. She’s just another article to write about. Just another picture to take. Just another social security number.
Hateful of Lindsey? I think not. Going into this type of “business”, you should know that the camera is always rolling. Deal with it- or in Lindsey’s case, do another line.
Whatajoke | June 10, 2010 at 10:59 am
Finally, the answer to California’s financial woes. The budget is balanced, jobs for everyone!!
Lauren | June 10, 2010 at 10:29 pm
HAHAHAHA! it DOES work out afterall!
Chelsea | June 10, 2010 at 11:24 am
oh god, instead of taking her keys away, someone needs to give her a car with no brakes!
Truth | June 10, 2010 at 11:26 am
New site really sucks. Hate having to click through to read each article in full, and no images in the RSS feed? Shame on you.
Ego | June 10, 2010 at 11:34 am
I agree.. clicking through to read the next article blows
Erin | June 10, 2010 at 1:54 pm
ditto ditto ditto. Suckage.
Gen | June 10, 2010 at 5:17 pm
I actually do hate that part. In general, I like the new site, but the unfinished articles is one of the reasons that I just don’t like going to Celebuzz and came here instead… Also, their obsession with Justin Bieber is weird…
havoc | June 10, 2010 at 11:39 am
She’ll do it. You know damn well she’ll pay ten grand for a drink.
Shae | June 10, 2010 at 11:41 am
Every person that’s ever caught an alcohol related charge must fucking hate her.
It’s really impressive how she’s managed to stay out of jail.
bar room hero | June 10, 2010 at 1:25 pm
I agree, what a drunken slag…
Deacon Jones | June 10, 2010 at 11:42 am
FISH,
Bring back the numbered comments, I dont have time in my productive workweek to skim down the whole row every time I come back.
BeeTee | June 10, 2010 at 11:47 am
This ho bag has so many god damned Marlboro Miles she could go to the moon and back.
b-rizzle | June 10, 2010 at 12:55 pm
she needs to clip her cat’s nails. can you use the edge of a credit card for that?
Opticzoom | June 10, 2010 at 12:59 pm
No longer Mean Girl, just a Mean Pussy
Aidan | June 10, 2010 at 1:03 pm
scram bracelets can easily be fooled.
n | June 10, 2010 at 1:50 pm
hahaha! love when i click on “dirt” this hag’s picture comes up…fitting i think.
Fockyoo | June 10, 2010 at 1:51 pm
She spends $5K a night for a hotel so $10K for a drink now and then is a deal.
justifiable | June 10, 2010 at 4:01 pm
For chrissakes, Fish, listen to Deacon Jones and get rid of the stacked comments. This format sucks monkey ass. And balls.
aaa | June 10, 2010 at 6:47 pm
aaaaa
Lauren | June 10, 2010 at 10:27 pm
HOW DOS SHE EVEN HAVE 10K LEFT!?
captain america | June 11, 2010 at 10:06 am
snore some cocaine instead.
…………….IT LOOKS PRETTY “TOUGH”?
Angry Dude | June 12, 2010 at 3:12 pm
I love kissing the freckles off a woman with whiskey breath…..her nipples probalby leak out vodka….mmmmmm,……vodka……as I kiss her neck, and stroke her hair….shit…..clumps of hair in my hand…..wtf!!!!!! I LOVE you Lindsay!!!!!!
Keesha | September 28, 2011 at 11:20 am
My polbrem was a wall until I read this, then I smashed it.