There’s A Reason Why No One Talks About Lindsay Lohan’s Ass (It Can Read Thoughts)

If you’re wondering to yourself, how is that Lindsay Lohan who hasn’t had a (decent) paying acting job in almost a decade can afford trips to Miami, how do I put this? Sometimes mommies don’t pay enough attention to daddies because, well, you’re here, so they’re not going anywhere without it getting really, really expensive. So daddies need to find a special friend who will pay attention to them, without talking, in exchange for less money than it would cost to live in an efficiency that smells funny but you still have to stay at every other weekend. So in the end, everyone wins because being a grown up is just tops.

Photos: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News