Lindsay Lohan Tried To ‘Break The Internet’ With This Shit

I can’t believe I’m about to type these next four words, but to Kim Kardashian’s credit – *douses self in bleach* IT’S NOT ENOUGH!! – when she tried to break the Internet, she at least had the decency to show everyone her vulva, and then again just to be safe. So with that in mind, here’s Lindsay Lohan who honestly thinks she has a snowball chance in hell after Kim Kardashian’s whole vagina didn’t even crash our site and we go down like a cheap whore:

Now what Lindsay Lohan has done is given me an excuse to post these topless photos from The Canyons which won’t break the Internet as much it will give me enough pageviews to stay in business and keep calling her a secret hooker. So in a way, you might say Lindsay Lohan actually fixed the Internet which I’ll just go ahead and say is the social equivalent of getting your period in gym class. Haha! Your vagina cleaned itself. Nerd.

Photo: Twitter