Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan basically confirmed she was caught on video buying drugs by trying to claim it was “a meteor and sea jasper” she was simply purchasing from a guy in sunglasses who carries plastic bags full of minerals in his pockets for barter. That happens. But what we didn’t know at the time, and adds absolutely nothing to everything I just said, is that Lindsay also walked around in a see-through top without a bra on because she’s trying to relive her glory days of hanging with Paris, drug scandals and wobbly freckle muffins flopping about which makes me wonder how the hell publicists agree to work with her and what their conversations must be like.
PUBLICIST: Listen, my advice? Let’s just let this video thing blow over and ignore it.
LINDSAY: OR we can say it’s meteors, and then I’ll call X17 “gross” on Twitter.
PUBLICIST: You realize that makes you look guilty?
LINDSAY: Let these puppies handle that. *lifts up shirt*
PUBLICIST: Why don’t you have nipples?
LINDSAY: They blend in with the freckles.
PUBLICIST: Ah… I quit.
Photo: Pacific Coast News