Lindsay Lohan’s in a Bikini

May 23rd, 2011 // 75 Comments

Last week, I managed to completely avoid posting about Lindsay Lohan even when the Freemasons figured out she’s a descendent of Christ and needed to protect the Vatican by erasing her existence, which is how I chose to read that story. So, of course, in an obvious attempt to get my attention, she paraded her giant breasts in a bikini yesterday (Alright, who told her I like those?) after spending all day Saturday flashing the paparazzi from the top of a building despite being on a professional photo shoot.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Lindsay, darling, camera’s over here.
LINDSAY: Pssh, yeah. One camera. Hey, can a lens make out my crotch from down there?
PHOTOGRAPHER: Why do you ask- JESUS! It’s melting the rails!
LINDSAY: And soon, the world… MUAHAHAHA!

Adding… Apparently the Freemasons don’t have snipers making them the shittiest secret society I’ve ever heard of in my life, and I once belonged to a “guild” who played Magic: The Gathering during lunch in junior high. There was two of us.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    wheres the nip slip picture?

  2. v

    shit just got real.

  3. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    nina poop
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks 40 shoulders down.

  4. nina poop

    She looks 40 shoulders down.

    Still gorgeous though.

    Wish she’d get her shit together… she has an interesting look, voice, way about her. She should be in Hollywood giving us some good film.

    • agreed. machete was a move in the right direction in terms of finding a good director, but would love to see her billed higher in a scorsese flick (showing off those beautiful melons of course too)

    • terry

      You’re right Nina. I was thinking the same thing. I though Lindsey was going to be the next A list actress in town. But she chose to let her addictions get the best of her. She is so nasty. And watching her always in court is disgusting. Would you ever see Natalie Portman acting like this hoe? Hell No.
      Now Emma Stone is the one. She is going to kill it. Easy A was awesome. And the Spider Man reboot will put her on the world stage like nothing else.
      Screw Lindsey Lohan!!!!!!!!

      • Blech

        Emma Stone is boring as day-old shit.

        Lindsay Lohan just needs the right director, and the right person to kick her ass every day for a while.

      • Adnan

        Easy A was AWFUL. I agree with everyone else that Lindsay just needs to get her shit together and she’s good to go…I hold out hope! Let’s try being positive? Love this blog by the way

  5. nina poop

    Did I say Lindsay should be getting her sh*t together and doing films? I meant snuff film.

  6. nina poop




  7. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    god… she’s hot

    • And....

      she has an ass to die for, tit-tays i would seriously consider marrying, and a mouth that needs some balls-deep lovin

  8. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is not the pockmarked mess I expected it to be. Kudos, LiLo.

    • Anon

      It’s still unattractive — it’s about 3 inches in length. Something is weird there. I hate butts like that.

  9. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay’s boobs are the ninth wonder of the world to still be in good shape with all that coke running through them.

  10. Venom

    God, she has the most delicious, succulent boobs.
    I still think she is the #1 Hollywood chick to bang.

    • Blogger


      • Venom

        Oh no, I am being attacked by the keyboard warrior aka 250 pound fat chick that is jealous of Lindsay.

      • mupp

        She’s a drug addicted washed up at 24 disaster zone…..with 2 parents I wouldn’t wish on Hitler.

        Jealous is not the word I’d use.

      • wulfsong

        Extremely sexy. she may be drug-addled and washed up now but so was drew barrymore at one point in her life. give lyndsay time. she’ll get her shit together eventually.

      • Milo

        Um, yeah, she is now what Drew Barrymore was at age 8….a coke head

      • Johnny Cage

        No venom you’re right. Jealous women hate the world…or at least anything else that’s female.

    • Big Ass Bunny Feet

      I dunno. Half the time she looks like a freckled Golem with breast implants.

    • vitobonespur

      @Venom — I agree with you. Despite her immaturity, addictive nature, conceit, irresponsibility, and fucked up family, Lilo definitely has the best tits around. More movies and pix. Loads of nudity, topless scenes, and perhaps one or two vids of her masturbating. And maybe blowing a Great Dane.

  11. right

    She’s a mental wreck, but those are boobs to cum all over. To bad she’s mostly a fuzz -bumper

  12. just say'n

    Fish, are you sure these are pictures of Lindsay™ and not Dina or some tranny hooker? Cuz that’s definatly not the face or body of a 25 y/o.

  13. XFX

    The interesting bits are at the end: see-through shirt with no bra.

  14. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    My but I would like to pick those plums.

  15. JofaMang

    It puts the coke on its gums before it has to pose again.

  16. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Boobs Whoa
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa boobs.

  17. It´s me

    Yes Sir – I love LiLo

  18. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing like burying the tit lede, SFWriter.

  19. Burt

    Isn’t she supposed to be in jail?

  20. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    happy monday, sweet cheeks

  21. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I see myself sucking on those babies. Right after I spend a whole day sucking her turd cutter.

    She could also pee on my face. Nothing better than tasting the sweetness of warm liquid cocaine.

    Can I ear an Amen?

  22. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking hot mess that is.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Granny forgot to put her bra on again.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You can dress up a tattooed ex-con in a nice lace outfit but it’s still a tattooed ex-con.
    I won’t even start on all the other problems this chick has.
    Stay out of trouble LiLo. If you stay out of any more trouble & your jugs don’t drop any lower you may still have a semblance of a entertainment career.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Jump! Might as well jump!

  26. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Scuse me… the crabs are dropping onto your legs. Lemme get that for you.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    A fanny-pack for the granny-rack.

  28. the captain

    ……..the lips from her mouth are almost the same size.

  29. Jimmy

    Tig Ol’ Bitties

    • vitobonespur

      How fucking droll. Could this be any older? If you don’t have something at least SEMI-original to say, why bother? This phrase died along with “nom nom nom” and “fap fap fap.” Let it go, already.

  30. Queequeg

    Smokers suck!

  31. Deacon Jones

    Man, she’s looking good to me. Lindsay is my instant Viagra for some reason.

    She’s still young enough where she bounced back pretty good, but if she keeps falling off the wagon, we’ll have another Sharon Stone on our hands.

    She’s gotta quit smoking though, that shit ages you quicker than anything else.

    • Cock Dr

      She’s a tanner & a smoker. You can only PhotoShop that shit for so long before the fashion photogs throw in the towel.

      • Deacon Jones

        Yes, tanning beds are actually worse than anything. They make 25 year old girls look like they’re 40

  32. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:


  33. I always thought Lindsay was gorgeous up until she started royally fucking her life up. She kinda looked like Ann Margaret and had a 60′s sex kitten look to her. Now, she just looks like an old retired stripper.

  34. Given enough support, those bikini stuffers look almost decent…almost enough to ignore the duck lips and the arm bruise. But then I remember how saggy they are, and my penis makes that sad slide whistle sound…

  35. meat

    So that’s what drug addict trunk junk looks like. Right on!

  36. Richard McBeef

    I’m surprised those sagging udders don’t cause the neck strap to shear off her head

  37. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the worst statistical improbability, almost non-existent and yet flabby ass. How is is possible?

  38. Compared to what I was expecting, this looks remarkably non-terrifying.
    Way to waste good genes, though…

  39. I’d ride that ashtray, like an unbroken filly.

  40. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    there’s a slap stick, there’s slap bass & there’s a slap ass.

  41. anonym

    she must smell like shit.
    I hate chronic smokers.

    but I’d still fuck her between the tits and then take a shit on her tummy.

  42. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    rolling in that dorito dust again.

  43. Captain Slappy

    For a two-bit coke-whore, I would still do her. Russian, Greek, maybe like the freak Anonym above….German style.

  44. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I have screwed Lilo one time when she was in Raliegh NC those tits are just delish !!!

  45. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to taste her asshole..

  46. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, this was when Lindsey Lohan was likeable and lanetted until she morphed into a crack-whore. So sad to think what she could have been had she made the right choices and not let her innder-demons wreck her life.

  47. Lindsay Lohan Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I would too. I don’t care what they say about her, I’d love to play with them puppies.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like crap when she’s got a butt in her mouth. She should stop smoking.

  49. Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve got a chick I go out with that doesn’t eat. Not anorexic. she eats like a bird.
    She used to have a body like Emily Ratajkowski, but slowly but surely, her butt and boobs are losing the fullness and firmness they had 4-5 years ago. She’s 23 now.
    If you don’t eat to meet the caloric demand of your body, your body consumes the fat it has stored, and that’s all boobs and buns are… stored fat. What a shame

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