We Know What You Look Like In A Bikini, Lindsay

August 4th, 2014 // 17 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan Saggy Side Boob Skinny Legs Swimsuit Jetski
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Because Lindsay Lohan lives in an imaginary world where she’s a sober Oscar-winning actress and not a prostitute who files frivolous lawsuits for money on the side, why would she be aware of a worldwide information system with readily available photographs of how she really looks in a bikini? So here she is on Instagram in a darkened room pushing the defreckler filter to its limits on the off-chance someone will look at her and go, “Now there’s a beautiful woman whose price I won’t try to haggle down after wondering if emphysema is contagious on account of hearing her siren’s voice.” It’s practically foolproof.

“If you put the clothes back and pose for a picture, we won’t call the cops.”
Fine…” – Two minutes earlier

Photos: Instagram

superficial

  1. yourmom

    #nocurves

  2. Jimbo

    Are the herpes making her bikini glow in the dark?

  3. This is some crap I wish I’d missed.

  4. JimBB

    Well, this sucks. I thought the track marks and bruised knees were her most attractive features.

  5. Eejut

    Has anyone noticed it’s never the same phone?

    • Anon

      What are you talking about? She’s been rockin’ an iPhone 5 since she stole it sometime last year.

  6. But what about the beer and 8-Ball on the table behind her?

  7. Lindsay Lohan Ali Lohan Bikini Photos Luxury Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t think Lindsay has that many bruises, that many of them are actually movable tattoos. Unless, of course, touching her with ten-foot poles is some sort of new chargeable sexual activity.

  8. Lindsay Lohan Ali Lohan Bikini Photos Luxury Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need to poo. Can you stop at that gas station right behind the palm tree?”

  9. Lindsay Lohan Ali Lohan Bikini Photos Luxury Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay apparent;y got the tits. Ali apparently got the ass (and maybe the legs). Who got the brains? Hahahahaha…Omigosh, that is sooo funny. It’s a trick question!

  10. Lindsay Lohan Ali Lohan Bikini Photos Luxury Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep. Tit’s look smaller , gut looks bigger. I figure I am about 3 years away from me and an 8 ball looking like a good idea to her ; )

  11. What has been seen cannot be un-seen.

  12. How many times did she fold her udders to pack them neatly into that bikini top?

  13. kery

    She doesn’t exercise and has a big tummy. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

  14. Who are these guys that are footing the bill for our girl? They look like sons of Arab businessmen. Does anyone know exactly who these men are who are paying her bills in exchange for her “company”?

  15. I got here late. Could someone please call Lindsay and ask her to thumb-down this comment? Thanks.

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